I am a teenage mom, why do people have such a problem with that?

Question

People have such strong opions about teenage moms, just because im 18 doesn't mean im going to be a bad mother, so why does everybody assume that. People think just because I got pregnant im not going to finish school and go to collage, or that I take the role of being a mother lightly. I have a beautiful 3 week old daughter and she is everything to me, I'm still going to school and plan to go to college. So why do people have such negitive things to say about me? I read some of the things people post about young people who have become pregnant and come to this site for advice and all you can give them are your negitive thoughts on the subject, and yet when you write and ask for help you expect people to respond with helpful thoughts not "you should have kept your legs shut" and other hurtful rude remarks. Does makeing these people feel worse about a already bad situation make you feel better or do you all just write these things to make urselfs feel superior?

Answer 1

If someone wants to act like an adult by having sex, then they must deal with the adult consequences. So many girls worry "Oh how am I going to tell my parents I'm pregnant", though they didn't stop to think "Gee, if I have sex, I could get pregnant."

The majority of teenage mothers do not finish their education for many many years. The majority are on welfare, or have their parents raise their child. The majority are not with the father of the children. I'm so sick of everyone saying "Why must you judge teen mothers?" LOOK AT THE FACTS! Just because you "plan" on getting your education doesn't mean that every other teenager mother is.

And no, I'm not some old grumpy person who doesn't understand. I had my daughter at 18, and she is now 6 years old. I understand what it is like to be a teen mother. Guess what? I struggled for YEARS. I still haven't went back to complete my education because staying at home with my kids is more important right now. I worked dead end jobs. I haven't seen my daughter's "father" in years.

Now, I'm married. We make good money. We own our house. My kids are happy. Does this mean that every teenage pregnancy story has a "happily ever after"? NO IT DOES NOT! Look at the facts! Just because YOU are doing something with your life doesn't mean that the others are. The majority of teen moms are immature, and yes, it is frustrating when they come on here in such a panic. You don't want a baby? Don't have sex, it's as easy as that. If they want everyone to sit here and try to justify their actions, then they have come to the wrong place. Everyone is welcome to their opinion. My opinion is, if you don't want to handle a baby and a pregnancy, then do not have sex. I will say that again and again. I'm not going to sugarcoat it and say "Being a teenage mother is so great!" It's hard, and if everything works out well for you, then you're one of the lucky ones. Not all teen mothers have it work out for them.

Answer 2

Don't let those closed minded azzholes bother you, you continue your life, be you and a good Mother to that precious joy. Astigmatisms go a long way, not all teenage Mothers are irresponsible young women who got caught, many are genuine and make the best Mothers yet. Yeah I heard all of it, about keeping the legs closed, etc., well, what is done is done, don't dwell on what happened but just look forward to the future with your daughter, I did it at 15, that was 30 years ago and in so many ways, I have showed and told the nay sayers to kiss all of my big black azz. You be the best Mother you can be and the Blessing will come, I have the utmost faith in you, just from reading this, you and your daughter will make it and you will make it big. Ignorance is a sin, so don't give those with such thoughts a second thought. God Bless.

Answer 3

You are right being 18 does not make you a bad mother. Being a Mom is hard for any body whether the person is teen , 20's, 30's, or 40's. It has nothing to do with age. Older Moms have issues too. Next time when someone is being rude to you let them know that the prime time to have a healthy baby is in your late teen to early 20. Many older people wished that they had kids when they were younger. Infertility is rampant in this country. Being is Mom is a gift, it's the most beautiful thing in the world. Some people find happiness in making money, building a career, and some find happiness in family and being a Mom. Eventually we all (females) will be a Moms. Being a young Mom has lots of pros.
-you get healthier babies
-you get to live longer with your children
-you have greater chance of seeing your grandkids and great grandkids.
-you don't have to pay for $10,000/IVF cycle
-you have less chance of having premature, multiple birth, deformed babies
-you don't have to buy eggs, sperms, or rent uterus like the older Moms.
-your career/school can be delayed but not your fertility.
(your brain cells have not shrunk and neither have your talent and ability if you have a baby early)



Dying people never wished that they had spent more time hoarding money, go to school longer, or work more. Dying people alway wished that they had spent more time with their loved ones.


Congratulation on your beautiful baby girl! and Merry Christmas

Answer 4

I got pregnant when I was 18 and had my daughter at 19. I got the looks of shame and get the jaw drop when people find out I'm 28 with a 9 year old. All in all I'm a wonderful mother! I know that for a fact from my own views and many other people have told me. Just make sure that your baby is your #1 priority in life. Remember that everything you do in life is for her. Its a struggle everyday, it gets easier in some ways and more difficult in others. Just make sure you finish school. Teach her moral values and discipline young. Teach her to respect you, but at the same time have fun with her. I was the mother that always was singing Elmo songs and sitting on the floor playing with my baby. The fact that you are young doesn't make you a good or bad mother. People frown upon it because they look at young mothers as a burden to society. Prove them wrong! Take care of your baby on your own, don't go on Public assiatance (unless you need to) and raise a well behaved, smart little girl that is going to shine brighter then all the other stars on the playground or in the classroom! My daughter is a straight A student, in Girl Scouts, Dance, and band. There are plenty of mothers that are 36 that I know and their kids aren't doing as good. I am her mother and her friend. I take her to concerts/Disney/the movies wherever. I think the older parents sometimes forget to have fun with their kids. You 2 will grow up together and learn from each other.
PS. If the BabyDaddy isn't in the picture put his *** on child support ASAP! Keep your head up girl. God put her in your life for a reason! You will see if you haven't already!

Answer 5

I had my baby when I was 17 (turned 18 two days later and got to bring him home on my birthday). I do have to say that on many online communities I see remarks toward teen pregnancies and moms. I learned to not let them bug me because I know that I'm doing a much better job than some women twice my age. My FSW reassures me of that every time she recalls one of her 25 year old moms who can't even get it together.

They just take the "norm" and slap it on every teenage mom. And in my everyday life, people seem to think it's a great thing that I kept my baby. I even had an old guy at the grocery store thank me for being a good mom haha. And I often have older moms make remarks of how jealous they are because my baby fat is gonna fall right off.

I'm finishing my senior year of high school and working so hey, hate on that.

Answer 6

It really is your Mom' responsibility, as a parent, to raise her child as a productive individual . She's the parent and should never try and be friends with any of her children (it's just not possible). She has to stand firm and never give in under any circumstance, by giving in, the child knows exactly what to do, to get their own way. Talk to your Mom about this and tell her how you feel about this whole situation. Tell her that you love them both but by her giving in to your sisters every whim is not good, for anyone. Your losing respect in them both and the chaos is affecting you (be specific). What happens next is really up to her, if nothing changes and chaos continues, remove yourself from the situation and don't interfere. In the long run they will both lose and you'll be a whole lot saner, if you just ignore them.

Answer 7

First off, I AGREE with making people feel worse then they already are, it's just not right and RUDE! Secondly, I don't think 18 is too young, in fact, there are quite a few people who have a kid at 18 I'll bet. I think younger then that might be too young though.. simply because being younger then 18 and having a child is a lot to deal with. But 18 is when I think it's ok. Enjoy being a mother!

~Sonicblur

Answer 8

i know what your talking about. I'm also a teenage mom granted i did have my son at a younger age than you. i think most people just generalize.they don't really take the time to think that their are teenagers out there who can do just a good a job or better at raising a child than older people. not all teenagers live at home with their parents and expect their parents to raise their child. not all teenage parents are on welfare. some of us actually work hard and raise our kids on our own. some of us will continue with our education. but others will not. people tend to focus on the bad rather than the good. we as teenage parents shouldn't be concerned with how other view us. we know who we are and were we're going.

Answer 9

Girl, don't let people make you feel bad. I'm sure you have punished yourself enough. I'm 19, and i have a 13 month old princess, and she is my world. I would do anything for her. Im also 32 weeks pregnant with a precious little boy. I hear stuff all the time that is hurtful, but if these people are saying these things about me...i just try to brush it off, because they don't know me, or what i've been through. why would i care about what someone says, if they really dont give a crap about me? u know? I'm a good mom. Nobody can tell me different because i put my babies first. And girl, those people saying those things have probably done the same things as you, but just got lucky and didnt get caught. nobody can judge anybody else, because everyone has their secrets. They only say those things because they are not happy with themselves, and it makes them feel better to bring someone else down to their level. i hate that "holier than thou" crap people try to pull. i know how you feel girl, but don't let anyone make you feel bad about your decisions. okay?

Answer 10

first of all, i dont think any woman of ANY age should be having a baby unless they truly believe that they are ready to raise and support their child...that being said, accidents do happen. at that point it depends on the womans, or girls' for that matter maturity level to take responsibilty for their actions. bottom line is, the actual age of a mother doesnt always matter...i know a few of age mothers that should have never been permitted to be mothers in the first place...so how could a younger woman be worse?? arent the adults supposed to know better? people are just way too damn judgemental when usually they dont even know what they are talking about.

Answer 11

I agree some remarks are stupid. Some people have problems with teenage mothers because they majority of them (not ALL) got knocked up because they were stupid about birth control (or lack of), don't know how to care for a kid, and end up living on welfare with some neglected rugrats running around. That is a stereotype but sadly true in a lot of cases. If it's not the case for you then good. Now go nurse your kid and stop typing rants into yahoo.