My fiance is enlisting into the air force. He has always wanted to be in the military. And I finally gave in as a good oppurtunity for he and I to start our life together, with all the benifits the military offers &we can finally "make it on our own" &"grow up" without having all the major struggles with rent payment, bills, etc. I know I can always come home when he is deployed and I feel I am ready to take the responsibility to handle all this pressure, and I feel I am ready to grow up.
But, I have alot of people telling me that we are "too young". My mother and father want to push me out into the world and learn how to make it on my own, yet when I make an effort to do so, they have so many reasons not to.
I really just want any opinons what so ever you can give. Whether youve been in my situation or not. Just input please!
2007-12-13 15:07:18 · 12 answers · asked by Lys 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
~Look at the bright side. If you marry at 18, you can probably be a single mother by 21, and if the kid(s) doesn't (don't) get in the way, you can be working on the second divorce by 26.
Instead of getting married to an absentee husband who may come home in a body bag, why not go to college or get a job and find out what the cold cruel world is really all about. There's always time for marital bliss or mistake down the road when you have some inkling as to what life is all about and how to live it. How do you expect to make a relationship work when you've never even tried to take care of yourself. If your true love is more than a passing adolescent infatuation, it will stand the test of time - and maybe make him feel a little less guilty about the babes he buys while he's overseas or away from home.
Hey, it's your life. What do I know?
2007-12-13 15:16:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 13⤋
The military is a great opportunity for young people to have a good income and start a good life..You're right to think about it though and question if it is the right thing...Do some research, which I'm sure you all have done to some degree...I think the Air Force is probably the best choice of the military...I don't know what the deployments are like, but that is a sacrifice you all will have to make.....Just know that where the average divorce rate with civilians is 50% or more, it is even higher with military....and being you all are so young, you have even more risk....but you all know each other better than anyone and could make that decision for yourself....I would say if he has a drive, which sounds like he does, then you would have a good chance...There are really good opportunities and benefits within the military...You can go to school for free, just being the wife....and the health care is awesome, while your active duty, plus the bonuses and hazard pay during deployment....Good luck
2007-12-13 15:31:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
My wife was 18 when we got married, and I was only a few years older! People said we were too young, and would end up divorced within 5 years! We have been married 28 years now, and even thought there have been ups and downs, I would not have it any other way!
Being a military wife, you will have some benefits, but you will also have additional stresses in your life! If you are sure you can handle it, and are ot just doing this to get away from your parents, but rather because you truly love each other, go for it!
Good luck and much happiness, whatever you decide!
2007-12-13 17:23:30 · answer #3 · answered by fire4511 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
All I can do is wish you good luck. I personally felt for myself 18 would have been way to young to be a military wife away from family etc even though I grew up in a military family. BUT if you are prepared for that and having to live without your husband for periods of time and doing EVERYTHING for the household when those times come then go for it.
I want to tell you, if you do get married please live on base. I can tell you that at the rank your fiance (then husband) would be at, it would be VERY hard to support yourselves if you have to pay for all things that come from living off base. And you will still have bills. Being in the military is not getting a free ride on housing etc. Yeah the military provides that, but you still pay for it and on some bases you pay some utilities.
GOOD LUCK!
2007-12-13 15:22:16 · answer #4 · answered by celtic_princess 4 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Are ready to not see him for up to a 18 months? Can you live on a base with 9000 young men who are ready willing and able and still be faithful to him . Being in the military is not for the light at heart. Can you watch the news everyday and live with the pressure of did the bomb get him this time. In my time it took days before people found out now it takes minutes. When he comes home and jumps through the roof from hearing the back fire of a car are you ready for this. Can you deal with him when he needs to get into his own thoughts and feelings of what he will see and hear when he deployed. IF you can do all of the things then go for it!
2007-12-13 15:22:47 · answer #5 · answered by Airborne 1 · 1⤊ 3⤋
I got married when I was 18 my husband was 21. He was in the Navy at the time. We heard it all, we were too young, too dumb and were going to end up divorced in a year.
Guess what, January 3rd we celebrate our 6th anniversary, and have never once looked back.
Its hard, like any other relationship. It takes communication, love, respect, compromise, everything that any other relationship takes.
Young marriages can and do work out, when it comes down to it you have to do whats right for you, not what anyone else tells you is right.
2007-12-13 15:15:03 · answer #6 · answered by Cebsme 6 · 6⤊ 1⤋
hey take it from me my 18th bday was nov 17 2004 i got married dec 18 2004. my parents where the same way at 1st mainly because i was the youngest and was the type to depend on my parents for everything. anyways we got married and im not going to lie its hard at 1st until you get into the swing of things. after that its great i love my mariage and i wouldnt trade it for the world and that's that he cheated on me 7 months into it but we're working on it and he's a totally changed man if you can afford it and know you can handle it go for it. age aint nothing but a number
2007-12-13 18:59:08 · answer #7 · answered by ~::JAEL::~ 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You are too young, in less than 5 years you will look back and wonder what you were thinking. You will change so much and so will what you like and dislike. There is no need to hurry. Both of you should focus on yourselves, then when you accomplish what you want, then see if your lives still collide in harmony, chances are they won't by then.
2007-12-13 17:14:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
im a military wife and it takes a strong women but, if your ready your ready, you can't make mistakes without steping out and seeing it for your self.. don't listen to anyone but yourself.. if your going to be happy then thats all that matters.. but stay in touch with family and friends you'll need it.. when he gets deployed..
2007-12-13 15:12:08 · answer #9 · answered by Alisha N 2 · 7⤊ 1⤋
you are too young to be married, you are not too young to be pushed out into the world to make your own way.....and if you are smart...you can do both....I believe in you....go for it!
2007-12-13 15:10:38 · answer #10 · answered by abc 7 · 0⤊ 6⤋