let me know what you think,?

Question

Writing a book (I think) but would like some feed back. Here is just a part of it, What do you think?

Jeb needed more rest, but that would have to wait, they had no idea how far behind them the soldiers were. Jeb, Linda and Aenohe knew the soldiers would not give up easily and they were sure that the Ranger would be in the hunt with them. This was their only chance to stay in front and with luck, lose them completely. With the horses ready they helped Jeb mount up, he was feeling better and seemed ready for the ride. Aenohe wanted to help, he felt like these two whites were family to him, real family he no longer had, family that died fighting the white man.

Answer 1

Good punctuation throughout the paragraph is sorely lacking. Consider getting the booklet, "The Elements of Style" by Strunk and White. It is an invaluable aid to good writing techniques.

Instead of relying upon a single paragraph, build tension through dialogue with the characters.