I have a friend who's in a weird situation. She stays with her husband, and I know mainly because she's scared of life...she's truly had a hard life, in her defense, not your ordinary "life sucks" situation that we're all tired of, but that's highly personal so I'm keeping that to myself, really because it would take all year to write about it She has no family left except for her two daughters, because everyone she had died in the last two years. Her husband treats her like a child. He even tells her what to think. She can voice her opinion, and he will say, No you don't feel that you, you just think you do. This is why you feel this way, and then lecture her about it for the next three hours. If they try to go out with friends, she just stays in the background afraid to say anything, because if she says the wrong thing, guess what? LECTURE TIME!
There's not enough space left to explain more, but how do I give her the courage she needs to leave him? Her spirit's broken :(
2007-12-13 14:19:21 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
that is hard because she really needs some supprt right now.. Just let her know that your not going anywhere and if one day she feels enough strnegth that you will help her and support her that is all you can do.. Just be there for her
2007-12-13 14:23:45 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
She may not dislike the obscurity this life style gives her as much as she portrays it. She may like telling you she hates it because she gets more attention from you that way. People who have had a lot of trauma in their lives learn to live in ways that most do not understand. If and when she decides that she is truly tired of this man, she will leave. She obviously feels that the benefit of staying is better than leaving. She has your interest doesn't she....if she were that afraid of being alone, she would certainly find another to "take care" of her.
2007-12-13 14:26:17 · answer #2 · answered by Ali C 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well hopefully he isn't controlling to the point of not letting her go and have a life on her own. she really needs to get into support groups, develop hobbies, get active in the community (even if it's PTA), etc. she's been told what to think and be for so long, she's probably forgotten who she even is underneath all the lectures. get her out of the house, if not often, then at least regularly. it will probably create problems within the marriage at first (if not lasting) due to everyone adjusting to the necessary changes, but at this point, change is exactly what this woman needs!
2007-12-13 14:28:43 · answer #3 · answered by celticbuddha 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know that you have good intentions.
However, you can not change someone. Even if it's for the better. She must decide to leave him. You can't make that decision for her.
If she wants to stay, support her there too. Help her make the best out of the situation. But keep your ear close. When you hear that she wants to leave, help her achieve her goals. Give guidance when you can. Stay objective and not judgemental of him.
Good luck.
2007-12-13 14:33:59 · answer #4 · answered by Vitiran 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing you can do to make her leave this man she has allowed him to control her life just like it was his own and she feels lost because she has no family left that she can go to for help even though you are there for her. She has to be the one who says that enough is enough on her own. This is her choice not yours or mines.
best of luck
2007-12-13 14:26:34 · answer #5 · answered by mmurray001 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
my wife says the same thing about me. to be completely honest i have no idea why women think the man wants to tell them how they should think. i love my wife more than a fat guy loves cake. but when were out i try to shut up and let her talk because she is the backbone of our family and she still says i some times tell her shes wrong. the fact is she is right most of the time and if your friends husband loves his wife he will listen.
2007-12-13 14:48:36 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
very complicated situation, it is not for you to decide she should leave him. She has to take initiative. she probably does not because of the children. do you really think she will have a better life without him and does she want to leave? then may be suggest and if possible get her professional help such as a marriage councilor.
2007-12-13 14:26:51 · answer #7 · answered by DI 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
first you havent said that she wants to leave. she may like the situation but its just bother you. she need to grow up and stand up for self and her daughters. tell her that the example she is setting for her daughters future husbands will be like their dad. now does she really want her girls to suffer like she is. or does she want the curse to stop and end with her. let her know its not just about her its mainly about those girls who are looking at mom and dad as their role models. GodBless
2007-12-13 14:26:21 · answer #8 · answered by Crystal G 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you cant tell her what to do, then youll be the one lecturing her on how life should be for her, let her figure it out, people always reach a point when they have to take action, just be there for her when it happens.
2007-12-13 14:25:51 · answer #9 · answered by suehellen 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's her life. Let her make her own decisions...
you just stay out of their business and live your own life.
2007-12-13 14:52:51 · answer #10 · answered by morey 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋