What do you think?

Question

I love my husband dearly but it is sometimes bothersome that he doesn't listen to my needs and concerns. He just retired from the military which I didn't like much at all for the 8 years I lived of the 20 with him. I always dreamed of a 50's type of lifestyle due to all the time away and unpredictable lifestyle and he knew and agreed to slow things down and find a job to be home at night etc. once he retired at 20 years. After trying one home business that didn't supply a steady enough income I caved and offered for him to be a vol EMT or firefighter (which firefighter was never on my fav list) but something he always wanted to do. I had been on him for nearly a year to get in better shape and I got my wish now that I agreed to the volunteer thing. (I feel hurt that he didn't do it for me but now is going to the gym.) I feel as if my needs and wishes are 1/2 heard and he is always giving to the community, and 50% to what I want. Our love life is down and he wonders why.

Answer 1

Honestly? It sounds to me like you're trying to live a little too much of your own life through your husband. It just sounds to me like he has other interests besides his marriage which is healthy in my opinion. Besides his community efforts he devotes 50 percent of himself to what YOU want him to do? That's actually pretty reasonable. I don't think that's an unfair or unhealthy amount. What are your goals in life besides having a good marriage? Maybe you could try developing other interests of your own and see if your relationship doesn't meet on some common ground because you are both satisfied with your outside accomplishments and interests.