How would you feel/react if you caught your gf or wife in bed with another woman?
Would you still feel betrayed, heart broken and angry that she would do this, regardless of the gender of the person she's having the affiar with.
Or would you actually be turned on by it?
I personally would still be pissed off at her for stabbing me in the back like that and I'd probably end the relationship right there on the spot.
But for a lot of other guys however, seeing their gf or wife in bed with another female is like something out of a porno, it's a dream come true for them.
2007-12-13 13:14:17 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Gender Studies
Cheating is cheating...
2007-12-13 13:22:59 · answer #1 · answered by Bye for now... 5 · 12⤊ 0⤋
Less so by than her being with another man, but it would still make me feel betrayed, etc. After all it's still a betrayal, but it feels less so, as you don't feel as much replaced as much by someone of the other gender.
Well, the problem with it not being like a porno, is that real life has consequences, she betrayed your trust, and showed her infidelity. If she was unsatisfied with the relationship or wanted to do it with another woman she should tell you, not just sleep behind your back.
2007-12-13 13:34:00 · answer #2 · answered by S P 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Hm, I can't wait for the responses! I wonder what the men on here value in relationships.
I'll answer for my boyfriend.. I'm sure he'd feel the same way as if I were in bed with another guy. Cheating is cheating, no matter the gender, and I'm sure [or I'd hope at least? lol] my boyfriend values an actual relationship more than he values watching two chicks doing it.
2007-12-13 13:31:51 · answer #3 · answered by ? 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Exactly as I'd feel if she were in bed with another man: betrayed, hurt, stupid for not having foreseen it, inadequate, blaming myself for her needing to look elsewhere, wondering if I should just accept it and try to improve our relationship from there or end it on the spot...
EDIT
Thanks for telling me how I would feel, Planet. Women can be so very helpful in that way. You're right of course: you know me better than I know myself. We really ought to just pose questions to women asking how men would feel, since women know better than men do.
EDIT
I have had similar experiences. Not everyone responds to situations identically. It depends on their feelings about homosexuality, about their own masculinity, and on many other factors.
For myself, it would NOT be a matter where "I'd just watch", but it also would not be "twice as bad". There are different factors in either situation that influence the feelings. For example, while a woman's sexual orientation is a further deception, it is less threatening because the comparison aspect isn't the same. I mean, if she prefers a woman, that is less a threat to my masculinity, for example, than if she prefers another man.
EDIT
understood. No worries!
2007-12-13 13:26:36 · answer #4 · answered by Gnu Diddy! 5 · 6⤊ 1⤋
probably ask if I could join them. If they said no, THEN I'd get p*issed and feel betrayed and all.
Nah. Just kidding. I'd probably throw her the hell out. But I can't imagine it actually happening. I don't think I've ever taken up housekeeping with a woman that I knew so little about that she could keep a secret like that from me. Nor do I think I ever would.
2007-12-13 22:48:15 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
A ton of men find it a turn on in their heads, but when you see it for real it's not funny anymore. I have to admit that I would feel less threatened than if it were a man, that just rips your insides out.
2007-12-13 13:58:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Come on, guys. If your wife is cheating on you with a woman she is cheating on two different levels. 1) She lied about her sexual orientation, and 2) She isn't being faithful to you. The fantasy of seeing two women in a porn is not the same in real life when catching someone by surprise in an affair. You'd be doubly hurt, confused and feeling more betrayed than if she was having an affair with a man....not that either one would be a picnic. I don't buy that a lot of guys---if they truly loved the woman---would react any different than I described. I don't think they'd just grab the popcorn and watch.
EDIT to the guys who thumbed me down: A good friend of my husband's was in this exact situation and he ended up having a nervous breakdown. It really screwed up his life and self esteem. Being used by someone who has been in the closet leaves you with a whole different set of emotions than being used by a heterosexual.
EDIT to Gnu: I'm sorry. You were right when you said: "Not everyone responds to situations identically. It depends on their feelings about homosexuality, about their own masculinity, and on many other factors." Gnu, it's that old generalizations thing again, that always get us in trouble in discussions. Sorry if I upset you. I based my answer on our friend's mental breakdown and loss of six months of his life while recuperating and I should have known better than to imply that everyone is going to react the same way.
2007-12-13 13:52:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 3⤋
While having a threesome or even seeing two women get it on is something I'd be more than open to if asked nicely, if she ever went behind my back with something like this it would be break-up/divorce time.
2007-12-13 19:11:21 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would be pissed if I caught my wife in bed with my girfriend. I told then the last time that I wouldnt tollerate it anymore/
2007-12-13 17:19:26 · answer #9 · answered by BigShot 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋
I would only wonder why she did not feel comfortable with telling me that was her fantasy.
2007-12-13 13:24:34 · answer #10 · answered by U Wish 5 · 3⤊ 2⤋
It would be bad...cheating is not about sex. It's about dishonesty.
2007-12-13 16:12:33 · answer #11 · answered by Steve-O 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋