Or wanted to watch it in order get turned on, would you be offended??
Or feel as though you aren't good enough alone?
If you were OK with it, how would you suggest that you are and offer that to your man?
2007-12-13 13:12:30 · 8 answers · asked by Renesme 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm married and I think a little porn every now and then is not bad, but if it becomes an all the time thing then it can become harmful to the relationship. The only way to answer your question is to voice your concerns to your significant other and talk about it with him. He may not know that you have a problem with it or you are hesitant about him loking at porn.
2007-12-13 13:20:06 · answer #1 · answered by Matthew 1 · 3⤊ 1⤋
If he needs it to get turned on there is a physical problem with him. If he does it instead of ever having sex with you he is addicted. If he just wants to watch it there is nothing wrong with it. If I wanted to watch it with him I would just get one a put it in and turn it on. If you are afraid to do that tell him that you have never seen one and that you are curious and want to watch one. A man wanting to watch porn does not mean that you are not good enough alone. That is not why they watch it.
2007-12-13 21:35:09 · answer #2 · answered by kim h 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
When I first found out that my husband (he was my boyfriend at the time) looked at porn, I got FURIOUS.
I felt like it was cheating, I felt debased, degraded, unwanted....and unattractive! It showed in the bedroom. I became shy and timid, less adventurous, and less willing to accommodate his wants and needs in bed.
Finally one day we talked about it. He explained to me that men (at least him) are visual, and that "imagining" things isn't really his strong suit. He said that he uses porn as a way of getting excited about the possibilities of what the two of US could do together. He told me that he doesn't look at it because I don't turn him on, because it's quite the opposite, and in fact told me that if he didn't look at porn, he'd probably orgasm too fast when he's with me because I excite him so much. So he basically said he's conditioning himself to be able to stay in bed with me longer, and it really has worked in my experience.
Then he asked me if reading trashy romance novels turned me on. I told him that they do (yes, they do and I'm not ashamed to admit it). He asked me why, and I said "because I can just picture" and before I could finish my sentence, he said "exactly. You can PICTURE it so it turns you on. I can't picture things out of thin air, I have to have some visual stimulation."
Now I understand and sometimes I watch with him. We have a very healthy relationship and our sexual appetites are always fulfilled so I have no reason to get upset that he looks at porn.
If you want to tell your husband/boyfriend that you're okay with him looking at porn... if you are outgoing and wild, adventurous and TRULY want to please him, this is what I would do.
Go buy a porno or a magazine or something that you wouldn't mind him looking at, or one that you'd want to watch/look at WITH him. If you're going to watch it with him, bring it to his house and put it on without telling him what it is. If you aren't going to watch it with him, then take something sexy with you (some kind of outfit that goes along with the video, perhaps a naughty nurse, french maid, or whatever else), and then say, "You put this movie on, I'll put this outfit on, and when you're done with that, you can have this." Or something equally as sassy!
If you aren't that bold, just be open and say "I know you look at porn, and I want you to know that it doesn't bother me." He should be okay with that. He might blush and blunder when you come outright and say it, but he'll appreciate it later.
Good luck! :)
2007-12-13 21:32:52 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Since my boyfriend and I have a basically sexless relationship, I'm perfectly OK with all that. Even if our relationship were more sexual, I'd be fine with it. I don't know, it's just not one of my top priorities in a relationship. I'd rather he fap to someone else than be in love with someone else.
2007-12-13 21:18:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I know when I used to look at porn, it really hurt and offended my wife, because she felt like she wasn't good enough or enough for me because I was looking at porn.
And NO she is not insecure.
2007-12-13 21:53:34 · answer #5 · answered by Bryan M 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
at first i didnt like to watch
now it turns me on too
we're also very adventurous anyway
2007-12-13 21:21:03 · answer #6 · answered by meallmeallthetime 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'd be worried that he was a sex-addict. I would be offended and would probably divorce him.
2007-12-13 21:18:20 · answer #7 · answered by la buena bruja 7 · 3⤊ 4⤋
get real and no need for porn
2007-12-13 21:19:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 2⤋