Me and my friend chose to give holiday presents together. A. she didn't pay me what she owed me B. after we finished wrapping presents we went to my room. I went on the computer in the other room and she went downstairs. I was wondering what she was doing and I felt like she was doing something. I went back to my room and we just started acting really normal like curling hair. After, I realized that her jacket transfered downstairs to upstairs and casually, I tried it on. I felt something in the pocket and because I know she's stolen before, I believed it was something of mine. She awkwardly took the jacket away and said she was going to the bathroom. I looked at my perfume collected and my perfume was gone. I went downstiars and when I went up, it was back again. This isint the first time I thought she took something from me. I thoguht she took my Burberry perfume as well because I lost mine and saw one in her house and gave her the benefit of the doubt.
What can I do now?
2007-12-13 11:57:08 · 48 answers · asked by panicswitch 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I need to know why she's doing this but in a way that she won't get offended and won't talk behind my back. I usually would tell my friends this but I feel like I shouldn't
help please? :(
2007-12-13 11:58:53 · update #1
Also, she has stolen a test before at school and she got caught and suspended but nothing seems to teach her a lesson.
She also comes from a wealthy family and she even HAD the same perfume in a smaller size. I just don't understand.
2007-12-13 12:09:19 · update #2
What if she doesn't admit to stealing?
2007-12-13 12:16:11 · update #3
She's got a problem. Don't think of her as just a thief. Try to help her. If she doesn't stop soon she'll keep doing it until she gets into serious trouble. I'm willing to bet she doesn't have a very good home environment. Some people just can't help it. I'm not saying it's ok because it isn't. Try to get her help if you care about her. I'm sorry you're going through this. Email me if there is anything I can do to help.
2007-12-13 12:02:12 · answer #1 · answered by ♥Kym♥ 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Have you asked her why she is doing it? In my opinion, sometimes just asking straight up is the best way to find out, beating around the bush or acting like you know nothing will encourage more of your items to "disappear" . Another option you could use is ask her if she has seen it, causally mention, "Hey, have you seen ______" , I'm not sure if i left it at your house (put whatever you think would be appropriate in there) If it continues, I would not invite her over again, because she is obviously using you, and just taking your things. Stealing is wrong, That was taught in Kindergarten, and it is also a crime. When you ask her, a big tip off is her suddenly getting defensive and avoiding looking at your eyes. That is how I would personally handle it, but do what you think is best, because you are the one that is facing the situation.
Good Luck
Matthew
2007-12-13 12:03:46 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Confront her with the situation. Tell her you know what's been going on this whole time, but be calm about it. Even though it's quite a serious matter, make her think you're not taking it as so. If she still doesn't give in tell her that trust and honesty in friendship is the most important to you and that if she can't be honest then you guys must not be friends. This may be hard to deal with.. but good trustworthy friends aren't hard to find.
2007-12-13 12:08:58 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hello,
When I was a kid I had this friend whom we new and hang around together for years.
The last straw is when I caught her steeling my pet money. I worked odd jobs to be able to afford my pets, without this money my parents would not allow me to have my pets which I loved very much and this "friend" new this.
After catching her, I let it go (acted as if I did not see anything) but after that I distanced myself from her BIG time. This I realized at that young age was no friend of mine. She was using me.
Why this so called friend of mine would do this to me I had no clue. I worked hard after schools and on weekends and really did not have time for hanging out with friends. Because I choose her the friend to hang out with made me feel as if I was a fool. It did nothing for my self respect.
You may really want to re think your relationship with this person. Sometimes there are people who really are not worth our time or effort.
Good luck with your decision if you want to put up with a thief.
2007-12-13 12:10:08 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Casually bring up a situation to all of your friends while she's there. As far as they know you could be talking about someone telling you a story about someone else. She will be too embarrassed to say anything, realize that you know what she was doing and probably never do it to you again! What could she possibly say behind your back?! SHE was stealing, not you!
2007-12-13 12:04:38 · answer #5 · answered by oohmuhgah 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't make a big drama about it but stop hanging out with this person immediately. Just make up excuses when you see her or she calls. DO NOT let her into your house because it will happen again and again. You can't trust her. If I were you, I wouldn't make a big deal, just stop being her friend (in as casual a way as possible). She obviously has a mental problem.
2007-12-13 12:01:55 · answer #6 · answered by Sick of Showers 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
end that friendship--a friend will not steal from you--is this person's family financially challenged? does she feel she has to steal-- or is she just a cleptomaniac--if you put up with it just one single time that person will automatically beleive that is ok to do this to you. why not, you will still be their friend-- confront this person, tell them how you feel along with what you think. it is ok to say "NO" once you have spoken your mind sternly (you do not need to raise your voice to get your point across--when you yell at someone, they will automatically block you out, because they feel offended, and will not even hear what you are yelling about) then, you can make your decision about ending this friendship. No matter what happens--DO NOT TOLERATE THIS TYPE OF BEHAVIOR!!! good luck
2007-12-13 12:06:13 · answer #7 · answered by Mr. Smartypants 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds to me like you should keep her away from sharp objects like knives. Ok, well i just went through a very similar situation that ended up with my friend and i ending our friendship, however, i had been dealing with her betrayel for two years. If i were you, as hard as it may be, i'd try to talk to her about it. Yeah, she might get kinda pissy and think that you're accusing her, but talk to her about it, and say, that, even though you're not accusing her, you need her honesty, because you can't be friends with someone that's going to do that kind of thing to you.
Best of luck
2007-12-13 12:06:39 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to ask her up front. Ask her:
"You were acting really strange yesterday, was anything going on?"
Depending on what she says, your next question should probably be:
"My perfume wasn't in my bathroom when I checked, but then it reappeared. Did you use it?"
Don't accuse her of anything yet. Just see what her answers are. If they're awkward, nervous, or seem to be coming out slowly (like she's having to think about them), than she probably tried to steal it.
2007-12-13 12:05:00 · answer #9 · answered by Rob 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
She is not your friend and she has a problem, confront her nicely , get your stuff back and end the relationship. It depends how old you are and if your families are close you might want to tell her parents before she ends up in jail, or you get in trouble b/c your w/ her when she steals
2007-12-13 12:01:36 · answer #10 · answered by Kikki 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋