Thank you for taking the time to read my question. My wife and I have been married for 3 years, been together for 7 years. We have 3 small boys ages 1,3 and 5. I have been in jail (3 times) due to my wife calling on Domestic Violence, every time she was either pregnant in the last trimester, or after the birth of one of our boys, all cases were dismissed with prejudice against her. I never hurt or harmed her, she just went crazy. Twice she was intoxicated on wine, but the police took me away, because I am the man and she was pregnant.
In 2005 we started a small seafood business, she quit her job which had great Benefits (Starbucks) I asked her not too because of the burden of health insurance on a small business, we did great to start, but she insisted on overpaying us out of the company, also she wanted to buy a house so we also purchased a home 2 months into our new business. I was trying to make her happy. Since then our relationship went downhill, this is where I started feeling hopeless with our relationship, although I went through the court system and jail, I forgave and told myself to hold the family together.
In summer 2007 the money in company ran out and she told me that she wanted to separate, she took the kids and moved to her mothers home, I ended up having to file a chapter 7 personally, due to no money and Credit Card debt above 25000 dollars, I also have decided to surrender my home, because I can't make the mortgage.
Currently, she is going to counseling for herself, I feel alienated because when I ask about 'us' the family and she and I, she says that she does not know. She moved out at the end of August, and she has not done anything for the sake of the family, but only for herself, I have talked to my parents about it and they want me to divorce her, they believe that sometime along the way of our lives, she decided that she just wanted a meal ticket, they want me to find someone that will work with me and love me.
Another important point I want to make is that my parents invested 20K, and her grandfather invested 50k into the company, this is how she and we maintained the lifestyle that is now falling apart. In the bankruptcy I listed my parents and her grandfather for protection. Recently she told me that we need to pay her grandfather back, but no mention of paying my parents, I wrote a letter to her grandparents wanting to know what the situation was with the loan they gave my wife, but they have not answered back. My wife wants me to pay her 500 per month for the next 6 years to pay back this loan, I don't believe her, especially now without an answer to my letter sent to her grandparents. I feel that she is holding the relationship hostage to get her way.
Should I move on, I am only 37, I think that she has some mental and emotional issues, that only she can work on, I also feel used, I mean she left me right when all the money ran out, and left me to fix it.
I have written letters to her letting her know that I love her with no response.
My friends say that she has turned into a gold digger.
I need some arbitrary advice on this...
2007-12-13 11:56:33 · 10 answers · asked by ocean 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Your wife is definitely mentally ill. She sounds very abusive as well. You should listen to your parents. Move on and fight for custody of the kids..She seems like a nut job and I wouldn't want my kids around her at all!!
P.S
My marriage sucks too!!!
2007-12-13 12:05:11 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
So, if I understand you correctly, you did not do any abusing what so ever, and she sent you to jail for it?
That is beyond cruel if that happened to you.
I don't see where she is loving or caring about you.
If you were accused of something that you did not do, and your wife is showing you no signs of care or concern for you,
why do you love her?
I am not trying to be mean or make you upset, however,
there is no question that you should leave her.
But I would suggest that you get some counseling and figure out why you want to be with someone that would do those things to you.
She is showing you no love, and I am so sorry that you are having to go through this.
If there is no truth to her getting you thrown in jail, then please
get the counseling that you need for your sake, not hers.
2007-12-13 12:18:39 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are absolutely right in everything that you have said, the wife has sabotaged her own family/marriage and how much more destruction do you need. The situation with her folks being paid back, don't give the repayment to her but to whom you borrowed it from and get a receipt for every repayment and keep it safe for proof of repayment in case you find yourself in court; you will have the proof. If your wife discusses the repayment ask her when is she going to give you some money to repay your parents. Your wife definitely need some professional help. Be supportive of your children financially (keep receipts as proof) and be there for your children with visitation. Focus on putting your life back on track, time waits for no one. Best to you.
2007-12-13 12:23:15 · answer #3 · answered by Titus12 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to stay social for the kids but give only what you have to. move on and find someone that will make you happy. even if the kids she somewhat turns against you will get to know you in the end. I would give nothing for her grandparents part unless you work out something with them and then would only do your half. Most of all find someone you can be happy with.
2007-12-13 12:09:50 · answer #4 · answered by ronnny 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stay. I like you to stay, CareBears have a very nice azzes. don't know if I'm a perv or not. but I like CareBear butts. but you are also a good questioner and answerer, funny and have cute avatar. although you may turn out to be a man in the basement. or a woman in an office cubicle. Edit: "The an" is a proper grammar, but I wronged it.
2016-05-23 11:10:11 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW, you need to really get out of thid one. First of all is she stable enough to have the kids? Yes she sounds like a gold digger and she also sounds very selfish. I would not send her anymore letters claiming your love, it sounds to me like she lost out. Yes from what you say she has gotten enough out of you and you certainly are young enough to statrt aa new llife with someone who loves, and respects you the way you deserve to be. It is hard to seperate yourself I know that especially when kids are involved. However in your case dont let her take anymore from you financially or emotionally. She is a sick young lady. Let her get the help she needs.
2007-12-13 12:22:06 · answer #6 · answered by Sally Z 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why do you NOT want to divorce her?
why would you love someone who treats you this way?
why would you even consider paying HER what SHE feels you owe her grandparents?
you need to get some balls in this situation and file for divorce, mister...she is using you for all you are worth...and then some!
2007-12-13 12:19:09 · answer #7 · answered by uranus2mars 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes plz move on for your sake and your kids(you and your wife)!! then later on get visitation with your kids through the court, and divorce her, you need to move on and get your life together. you dont need the stress or drama shes puttting on you. if u need anymore advice email me at. www.dr3ah@yahoo.com
Good luck
2007-12-13 12:05:19 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like your wife needs some serious help and I would be concerned about what you young children are seeing. Should you get custody of them?
2007-12-13 12:02:18 · answer #9 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
seriously go ahead and move on .. u can do bad all by yourself.. i hope that everything works out and trust me whatgoes around comes around and she is going to get it bad 10-fold ... GOD BLESS
2007-12-13 12:10:01 · answer #10 · answered by kmd110685 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋