I divorced my husband for many of the same reasons I see popping up with my current fiancee. Lack of communication, lack of regular sex, and parts of him that seem mysterious(which brings tears to my eyes, sometimes). Communication seems to be out, cause when I try to bring things up I get accused of disrespecting him. He does spend time and help out with finances for my son and I, but I need advice about what to do? The reasons for the divorce keep coming back now so maybe I am just seeing problems where none exist. We are both in our 30's. Things were different when this started. Like I found a soul mate. Is sex now once or twice a week lame for us? Is him practically living here except Thurs seem odd to anyone else? (When he goes home on a Thurs and I try to contact him he doesn't answer, then later calls and says he fell asleep.) I don't know..Again I stress bringing it up scares me, I think he has an angry side to him that I haven't seen yet.
2007-12-13 11:35:00 · 7 answers · asked by hljones1169 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Unfortunately, we tend to be drawn to the same types of behaviors that we said we "left"... If you are asking yourself these questions & you have doubts, then I would tell you that you need to let him go & find the guy that CAN give you what you want. You already know the outcome. If he isn't willing to listen to you now, next year will be the same & so on... Make a list of the things you want & give it to him. If he cannot respect them, you have the right to say, hey - this really isn't going to work. Sometimes, people come at the right time to help us open our eyes. He did this in the beginning. Now, you never closed your eyes... does that make sense?
2007-12-13 12:00:14 · answer #1 · answered by T. 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is a reason everything seemed so perfect at the beginning.
You were in "lust" not in love and and after the lust wore off and the fantasy wall paper started peeling away to reveal reality, you are now seeing him as he REALLY Is.
Next time no sex no shacking for over a yr ,by then you will KNOW the guy for what he really is instead of fantasizing him as you want him to be.
When you are having sex it takes LONGER to see things as they are because you become emotionally invested TOO quickly try using your head instead of your hormones to make decisions hon.
2007-12-13 11:51:23 · answer #2 · answered by Joe F 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like there are some serious red flags here. I would be very suspicious as well. Please don't marry this guy until the issues are explained. I would try to push him (verbally) some time to see how angry he gets and if he gets violent, but do it when your son is gone and maybe have a friend ready to call 911 or come over...
2007-12-13 11:41:16 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Put things off to you feel more cetain about if things are right. If he does not understand then this is another red flag.
2007-12-13 12:01:34 · answer #4 · answered by ronnny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you haven't truly dealt with everything from your past marriage. i would concentrate more on yourself and sorting out your own life, rather than trying to sort out what someone else's life is doing in your own.
2007-12-13 11:57:29 · answer #5 · answered by celticbuddha 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he has a standing Thursday night booty call.
2007-12-13 11:45:02 · answer #6 · answered by jeff b 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ya noticed how everyone who answered says that there are a lot of "red flags"....Hmmm makes ya want to think a bit, eh?
2007-12-15 02:20:08 · answer #7 · answered by jonny 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋