there once was a bear
who had lots of hairs
he sat on my bed
and me and him read
night time scares
2007-12-13 10:23:38 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
Cute, but needs more.
2007-12-13 10:26:02 · answer #1 · answered by Mom of 2 great boys 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't really know that much about poetry but comparing yours to the ones i have read i would say that is pretty good. i think the bear makes it better because a lot of people like bears.
2007-12-13 10:28:18 · answer #2 · answered by ♦drop it like its hot!♦ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
properly, its solid, yet you *do* sound cliche, if even if if the cliches are actual. it only doesnt sound very unique, so it doesnt realyl sound like its popping out of your heart. the rhymes and words are solid, however the rhythms a sprint off, too. attempt counting the beats in each and every line, and making particular they are everywhere in the same. distinctive them are, like, 5 and eight or 7 and 10. yet its nonetheless solid for a universal attempt, save writing!
2016-11-26 21:10:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a lovely little poem! Try writing some Haiku.
2007-12-13 10:27:37 · answer #4 · answered by CiCi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the once was a bear
what had lots of hair
he sat on my bed
i gave him head
night times a mess
2007-12-13 10:27:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The content is gramatically wrong and sounds to me like a 5 year old kid made it up...
2007-12-13 10:33:33 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds ugly if you were over 12 but if your under 12, very cute
2007-12-13 10:27:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
sounds like a 8 yr old wrote it
2007-12-13 10:25:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like poetry form a 4 year old.
2007-12-13 10:26:55 · answer #9 · answered by Brandon G 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes.
2007-12-13 10:26:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋