I really hate receiving these compliments about the way I look. I become confident and boom I get crushed. Totally rebuffed.
Are the girls lying to me to just seem nice; am I lying to myself with my confidence?
Or are guys too picky? I've noticed even the ugly guys think they can do better than me.
2007-12-13 10:14:42 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Sociology
http://i225.photobucket.com/albums/dd287/anagavalda109/Photo4.jpg
here is my pic so you can realize what I'm talking about.
Everyone says be confident, but what if it doesn't work?
2007-12-13 10:15:41 · update #1
so perhaps, my false confidence is no better than low self-esteem. Hmmm, I'm only in college, so I've plenty of time to learn to accept myself!
Thanks.
2007-12-13 10:28:01 · update #2
your being to hard on yourself....and if you care too much what others think of you you can come accross as a little bit needy......that is more likely to be your problem, as there is nothing wrong with the way you look
2007-12-13 10:20:32 · answer #1 · answered by jasmine d 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have an educated guess I'll throw out there:
Your female friends compliment your looks because they like you and are trying to make sure you feel good about yourself. They're not lying or trying to hurt you.
Males are more likely rebuffing you because of your attitude and/or behavior than anything appearance related. When you present yourself to someone you are interested in, you need to project an image of self confidence and likeability.
It sounds like you may be projecting an image of a lack of confidence. It also sounds like you don't realize this. Do you expect males to respond to you and compliment your looks in the same way your female friends do? You may be unconsciously asking them - by your choice of words, your body language, and your behavior - for compliments and validation. This is a very ineffective tactic for gaining the attention of a man.
In order to present a more effective image, you need to demonstrate your confidence, your competence, and your personality. It's always much more about personality than appearance in relationships.
As far as those "ugly guys" who think they can do "better" than you... well, honestly, if they're evaluating you and others based purely on appearance and ranking people's worth on this, they are jerks and you don't want to have much to do with them anyway.
P.S. Part of projecting self-confidence comes from your own inner capacity to reject someone else. If you approach a guy and he perceives you to be very unlikely to reject him because of your own internal condition, he will be turned off.
Hope this is helpful.
2007-12-13 10:35:52 · answer #2 · answered by Adam 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For the same reason that if a 10+ walks over and gets close. Smiles and says well HELLO hand-scum ! You didn't really hear that did you ! Oh no. Mr. happy is straining at your zipper trying to get a good look too ! And your flushed face gives your intent completely away. Shame, SHAME on you pecker head with such a dirty mind ! Where two of a kind. you and I. Kudos !
2016-04-09 01:27:58 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's funny. The fact that you get "crushed" when guys say you aren't pretty means you have low self esteem. Once you stop caring what people think of you, guys will take notice and look at you differently.
You aren't ugly so don't let anyone tell you that.
2007-12-13 10:23:05 · answer #4 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So, do guys actually verbally insult you? Or do they just seem to not notice you? There is a lot of difference there! Sometimes confidence may seem to be conceit in the eyes of others. "She thinks she's too good...bla, bla, bla" It's nice to be complimented but I think your right! Too much of that and we get a tad over-confident!
2007-12-13 10:33:26 · answer #5 · answered by tampagramma 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I'll throw my 2 cents worth in here. I have a girlfriend that is not nearly as cute as you are (physically). But my girlfriend's personality, and sense of self is really the winning factor to me. If my girlfriend had your physical looks AS WELL AS her personality,, oh dear God I'd feel like the luckiest man on earth!
2007-12-13 13:31:26 · answer #6 · answered by Cherub 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seriously, I wish I looked as good as you. Those guys are just being idiots, plain and simple. Your friends are not lying to you - they're your friends and you can trust your opinion. I know from experience that it's hard to ignore people who say nasty things about you or treat you indifferently, but you really do just have to rise above them.
2007-12-13 10:52:53 · answer #7 · answered by Megan C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having seen the truth(photo), I think the guys are nuts or you are too sensitive.You deserve better and may be,you have to be more assertive about it.Either way,live life on your own terms.All the best.
2007-12-14 03:08:35 · answer #8 · answered by brkshandilya 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't worry about opinions from people. They are opinions, and should mean nothing to you. Just as people who have opinions against your music, style, etc. They are just meaningful to the person who said them. Just because they have that opinion, doesn't mean everybody will have that opinion.
YOU should be more worried about what YOU think. Not think of yourself via influences of opinions or views by others.
2007-12-13 10:34:23 · answer #9 · answered by Jeremy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's the wrong guys, find better ones. You are very pretty, don't worry about it. :)
I agree with the two answers above me as well. Think better of yourself, you attract what you feel your deserve.
2007-12-13 10:23:46 · answer #10 · answered by ◄♥ Witchy Mel ♥► 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋