Does my wife has a problem or am I overreacting?

Question

I let her borrow some money because she did not had gas on her car so I let her borrow ( give her money cause I'm never going to see it again) money but she wanted more and I told her that I don't have anymore and she insisted and I told her that I don't have anymore cause I'm the one paying for all the bills in the house and I mean ALL OF IT, so she got upset and threw the money at my face and told me to screw myself, and I never did or said anything that would upset her besides that I don't have more money. I'm the provider and do not ask her for anything on this house her money is just hers.Now does she has a problem, or am I overreacting?

Answer 1

I may be wrong but I suspect you guys are young and not married for very long. You don't lend money to your wife, you share resources to enhance both your lives. It sounds to me like you live in the in the same house but run your lives separately. You "borrow" her money, her money is hers, she gets mad when you don't loan her more because you don't have any andshe spent all of hers. I do not think you are over reacting, you are just responding the way any banker would to a client and she is responding in pretty much the same way she would to a banker that had just refused her. I don't see this one lasting very long. Your problem is in your question. Even there the trouble is either her problem(does she have a problem?) or yours (or am I overreacting?) not both of yours. I wish you all the luck in the world because you have a long haul ahead of you.

Answer 2

First, you shouldn't feel like it's "borrowing" money to your wife, because that makes it feels as though she's indebted to you, and then you expect the money back, as it shouldn't feel that way since you are married, you have to work together, so the money should be married too (somewhat) in that sense.

Then since it sounds like your wife dosen't have a job, she's been spoiled by you, and you've let her become like that. Since she dosen't pay the bills, she dosen't have any sense of how much and where the money goes to etc...she has not grown up yet. She needs to get a job, so she can have her own money and then she will see just how hard it is to pay all the bills, and provide for another person. That's just not right, first she needs an attitude change ( she won't get a job with that attitude, does she treat other people that way too? oh, boy!) and a job, she'll feel much better and so will you.

I also agree with what Grim Reaper had to say, as i have been in that boat before, with how my hub is about money. She dosen't need to feel like she's always having to ask you for money also.

Answer 3

Do you really expect us to respond to this question without knowing all the previous times you and her have had money discussions? Your asking for marriage counseling from kids an anyone with a computer. Not the best decision.

Just based on this one occurrence, it sound like you have a control issue. You make the money, you pay all the bills, and she has to ask you for it when she wants some. You are married to her, your not dating. ITS THE HOUSEHOLDS MONEY. You pay the bills, buy the necessities, put a little into savings (401k, etc) and then split the rest.

Answer 4

Wow. Ron is a real scumbag. I feel sorry for his wife, if he has one.
To your question: your wife sounds like a spoiled brat, but on the other hand can I ask you why she is having to beg you for money? If she is married to you I will assume she is a full grown woman and should have her own checks to your joint checking account and credit cards. I have never yet heard of a wife who has to ask her husband for gas money. She might be frustrated that she is being treated like a twelve year old.
If she has a problem where she can't be trusted with money (a serious problem, I mean)I think she really might need counseling. It sounds like you both might, as a couple. Churches sometimes offer it for free or for a minimal fee if you can't afford a professional counselor.
It sounds like you have trust issues and your wife needs to feel like she's your wife and not your daughter begging for an allowance.

Answer 5

Sounds like a BIG overreaction. Sounds selfish. She doesn't appreciate what she has.

In fact, I think if anything you should be the one who's upset, if what you've described here is accurate.

To be honest, I think she sounds a bit like a spoilt child who can't have their own way.

Bit harsh.

Try talking to her and explain to her who pays the bills? who dishes out money on the expenses? and then ask her if it's fair for her to tantrum over something like that when you never ask her for anything in return.

Hope things start to improve for you.

Happy holidays!

Answer 6

specific I particularly have experienced this and listed right here are my concepts... Does your spouse get to flow out and have a physically powerful time while she needs to? possibly you will desire to ask your self her with the advice. What approximately getting somebody to visual demonstrate unit the youngsters and you 2 having commonplace "date nights". feels like in simple terms a splash down time for her could flow a protracted way. heavily, i does no longer gauge the quantity of 'help' you do around the residing house, by utilising what you spot 'different' husbands do. Your spouse would not stay with those different husbands. in case you spot something that needs to be accomplished, do exactly it. you reside together with her... can't you assume some chores that she's approximately to do and shield them earlier she does? you're saying " yet a minimum of I help". you're making it sound such as you're attempting to wreck out with doing as low as you are able to. Now in fairness to you, Your spouse shouldn't argue by utilising stating each previous subject into the conversation. There are some ok based 'relationship regulations' that say it extremely is erroneous. i do no longer think of she realizes that it extremely is in simple terms no longer in her ultimate interest to try this. adult men would desire to needless to say see an argument and fasten it, no longer rehash each thing we've accomplished incorrect in the previous. I understand you once you're saying it makes you opt to resign considering which you sense that there's no longer a decision to any subject subject concerns. i think of there is a few good information right here. i do no longer think that the subject concerns you introduced to easy listed right here are particularly divorce cloth. the two one in all you desire and could make the main of come couples counseling. ( and don't be afraid to interview some so which you would be able to the two discover one whom you the two sense mushy with and have faith) Why no longer take the initiative right here and get the technique going. you realize,........... You and your spouse fell in love and married for some reason. seems such as you the two would desire to flow lower back somewhat and rediscover what those motives have been and placed across them into the present. What do you 2 would desire to loose - different than getting a divorce and arising a broken residing house on your babies. . . . .

Answer 7

OK first off i think she crazy. do you have any kids. AS a family i think you should share the money and not have this borrowering becasue it make her seperated mabey. I think a if she doent have a job and you dont have kids run away from her she has done nothing for you and b is she does havekids its ok mabey she can find a job on the computerlike my wife did i mean she doent get paid alot but you know it would be helpful

Answer 8

Wow, I dont believe you're overreacting at all. I think she is very ungrateful, disrespectful and immature for acting the way she did. My husband is the only provider in our home and I'm a stay at home mom. I would never speak to him that way, and I love him so much for everything he does for us.

She really needs to grow up and re-evaluate her life and role. I would highly recommend her reading the book, "Love and Respect."

Good luck and I hope she's able to grow as a wife and learns to appreciate and respect you for all that you do.

Answer 9

If your story is the exact way that things went down, she sounds like an unreasonable brat. Eventhough in a marriage money is considered joint - if she doesn't have any, then of course she's going to have to ask, but she can't be greedy. If you don't have it, you don't have it! She needs to get over it

Answer 10

You LET your WIFE BORROW money? That would be one of the reasons I got a divorce, even though I also worked.