My husband and I have been married for 10 years. we have two children and since the last one I have to force myself to have sex. He is always horney. I am getting to the point I can't force myself anymore. I have gone to the doctor and she has done all the blood work up and so on and she said that there is nothing wrong with me.
Other than the sex part we have a awesome relationship.
I love my husband very much he is my best friend, but I am just not attracted to him anymore. What do I do.
2007-12-13 09:15:34 · 17 answers · asked by hipgrandma0204 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Get the kids off to grandmas one night and enjoy spending uninterrupted, quality, intimate time with your hubby!!
2007-12-13 09:19:46 · answer #1 · answered by kiki 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have a feeling that it is not the sex that you are turned off of it is getting pregnant again. If I have hit a note maybe it is time to talk to the hubby about getting snipped. I think you are not attracted to your husband because you do not want to have another baay and use this excuse to mentally block it.
Either that or your husband has put on some weight and he is physically unattractive now. Either way you guys need to seek some therapy you must come to the reason behind the feelings of not wanting sex and maybe your husband has feelings he is using sex to cover up.
Really intimacy is important in marriage so figuring out why you are not interested in the act of sex or what has made you lose interest in your husband is important.
God Bless and Merry Christmas. Really it is just sex you can work on this as a couple but professional assistance is recommended.
If you love him you have the responsibility to fix this situation.
2007-12-13 17:30:59 · answer #2 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Children, the daily grind of life, paying bills, doesn't sound very romantic, does it? Being tired all the time, trying to squeeze in every last second of the day to get done what you want is asking a LOT.
You have a lull in your sex drive, you need to reconnect with him on a husband level, go out to dinner, dance, have some fun, if you can, get a babysitter and take time to remember why you married him.
Remember as well that you may be tired and not feel attracted to him, that's the ebb and flow of marriage, but if he's not getting it at home, he could be tempted by the first young thing that strokes his ego and more.
I hear that from men all the time. "She doesn't want to have sex anymore and then, one thing led to another...POOF!" It takes an effort from both of you.
2007-12-13 17:27:34 · answer #3 · answered by Yankee Micmac 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I assume that if you don't like having sex that you are not getting off when you do? Maybe you have come to define sex as your husband doing you and then it's done. Buy a new toy and start pleasing yourself and maybe you'll have a renewed interest? Maybe hubby can help with the toys. Don't give it to him until you get off? Also, make sure you're not on some medication that could be killing your sex drive. Good luck.
2007-12-13 19:25:07 · answer #4 · answered by jeff b 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you have to realize that if the sex goes... his love will probably follow. Men and women are wired almost opposite on this one. No one is wrong, it's just a tough situation. Men's feelings FOLLOW sex... emotional connection and being great friends will never cut it for him.
Besides, he will be soooo tempted to cheat as time goes on... that's not fair to him to put him in that situation and not healthy for you. Imagine if he became emotionally distant abut still wanted sex all the time... that's how he feels.
The cold hard truth is that 90+% of sexless marriages fail. If you want to have a sexless marriage then let him go to find a sexually giving person. You can find female friends that can keep you company or maybe even find that ONE guy who doesn't require sex, but don't kid yourself. You have asked(demanded) of him that he remain faithful and that comes with the responsibility to put out. Infidelity is as much withholding sex as cheating!
2007-12-13 17:24:13 · answer #5 · answered by Mindlessfun 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
You better find a way to work this out, because if you don't, you won't have a husband. The problems will start to show up in little ways first: he is more irritated, then pays less attention, and after you have cut him off completely or he gets tired of having to beg you, someone else may catch his eye.
2007-12-13 17:40:05 · answer #6 · answered by CatNip 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Work on the relationship. Something is wrong. I don't believe you when you say the relationship is great. Sex is normal and healthy. Usually when a woman doesn't want to have sex it means there is an issue in the marriage that hasn't been dealt with.
2007-12-13 17:20:33 · answer #7 · answered by DearAbby 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's him ur not attracted to, I think it's the thought of sex becuz ur worn out. Kids put a toll on a relationship in the sex department it's up to the 2 of u to keep it alive. Try new things.
2007-12-13 17:21:06 · answer #8 · answered by ♥Pure Evil♥ 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like it's time to call in the reserves. People don't just lose their libido with nothing wrong. Have you thought about counselling? Need to find the problem before he finds a solution.
2007-12-13 17:21:04 · answer #9 · answered by Poppy 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
parenting takes a lot of energy that could go toward romance. forcing yourself probably wouldn't work long.
the 2 of could benefit from some flirting and dating, in what ever way works
2007-12-13 17:30:54 · answer #10 · answered by Voice of Reason 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋