....would you go out shopping for another spouse while you were still married? Or would you try to fix yourself first? And when did we decide that a piece of paper sets the mandate for what a heart feels?
2007-12-13 09:13:45 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
A heart knows what it wants, and if it is agreed that the marriage can't be fixed, then even though it is on paper that you two are married, mentally and emotionally you are not. I say fix yourself and shop around at the same time. My fiance met me while she was still technically married, but she had filed for a divorce 8 months prior to me even meeting her. It took another 5 months (because of a custody battle) for the divorce to be finalized on paper. If she had stuck with the "get the divorce finalized first" idea, then both her and I never would have found our soulmate.
2007-12-13 09:22:00 · answer #1 · answered by Frank K 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When it seems 'irrevocably broken' in your own mind, thats a pretty good time to get God involved. No piece of paper sets the mandate...God did that. Marriage is a covenant with HIM...not just the person you married.
When you say irrevocable, I can almost guarantee there are some holes that if 'patched up' could restore the marriage. Going out windowshopping is not the answer.
Focusing on your spouse IS.
2007-12-13 09:19:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
No. I wouldn't do a thing until the divorce papers are signed if you're not going to try to fix it. If you live in a state where you pay the price for adultery, you can lose a lot when it comes time to get a divorce.
A piece of paper does not set the mandate for what the heart feels. It is a legal document for our government... it doesn't have anything to do with emotion. Marriage papers tell the government that you are combining your finances and it changes your taxes... among a lot of other things (like health insurance). Divorce papers are the exact opposite.
2007-12-13 09:18:29 · answer #3 · answered by Cochy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why would you stick around if the marriage was "irrevocably" broken? Why would you stick around unless you thought somewhere in the back of your head that it might work out. If there is absolutely no doubt and no chance for reconciliation, then LEAVE. Don't search for someone better to trade him in for.
2007-12-13 09:19:11 · answer #4 · answered by AmyBlue77 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
a) You obviously have problems, and that probably isn't the best time to be out seeking a relationship. Why hunt for the rebound? b) that piece of paper is a matter of mutual respect. It doesn't take that long to get a divorce final, and if you can't wait, then just add that to the list of issues you need to deal with.
2007-12-13 09:17:21 · answer #5 · answered by czekoskwigel 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
definitely not while you're still married. what makes it irrevocably broken?
2007-12-13 09:19:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Real question should be, do I become super selfish and complicate somebody else's life, by dragging then into my unfinished mess?,,or do I behave responsibly and finish my business, wait for awhile to heal from it, and then start a new?
2007-12-13 09:22:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would keep all my doors open. I would shop around and fix myself.
2007-12-13 09:17:00 · answer #8 · answered by ✿Houston_Girl✿ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
fix the broken piece first and than look.
2007-12-13 09:16:45 · answer #9 · answered by teeman824 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Mandate? That was the vows you repeated. Anyway, get the divorce first. At least you won't seem so sleezy.
2007-12-13 09:17:45 · answer #10 · answered by Poppy 7 · 0⤊ 3⤋