Can't get over Cheating ...Going Crazy!?

Question

I have been in a 6 year marriage and He has cheated on me since the begining.I always forgave even when he threw me in jail for smaking him after I found out.But this last time when I forgave I guess I didn't realize I had to forget.I cry everyday I talk about what happened everyday.It has come to the point where I have wanted to hurt myself because I can't get rid of the pain.He laughs, calls me a drama queen,Calls me crazy! He moved the girl into my house when I went to live with my mother.They laughed at me while I played the fool and lost my corporate job. I am tierd...but this is my first love.The only man I have ever lived with.He lies to me all the time and we never go anywhere.I am in a nightmare!I can't get out because I feel that the other men are worse.I am holding on to a thread emotionally,physically and mentally.All the while he says get over it.....I just found out today that the girl he was cheating with lives 2 miles away from me!Also this whole thing hppend 9mnth ago

Answer 1

No man is worth hurting urself. Why do u wanna still be w/ him? He apparently doesn't care about u. Why torture urself, ur worth more then that. Lift ur head up and smile and when u do close the door behind u and don't look back. Go out in the real world and find urself a good man, they're out there trust me! :)

This is not ur first love u have not experienced love yet, wait til u do it's the best thing ever!

Answer 2

your paragraph was almost too painful to read. You allowed him from the start to use you as a doormat, and let him disrespect you, so he took advantage and pushed you a little more each time. For some reason he feels you will never leave him so he continues what he does. Maybe he feels you are too weak to leave him. He is and probably never was serious about his marriage vows, sounds immature, and wants the best of two worlds and you're letting him have that. Maybe he gives you a nice house and the material things you want so you stay. But you have a choice too, and you have a life too, and you don't need men, honestly, you can live without them if you feel you can't set your own boarders and walk off when they tear them down on you. You must set limits or your self-esteem will go to pot. Do you not have education and a job or career? If not then work toward that, and do some babysitting or something when he's gone so you can make some money to bring you out of this rut. Then make good plans, then one day just walk out and file for divorce. If you're in a no-fault state the judge will understand. Then you finally start to live, to do what you like when you like and not have to accept what he's doing to you.

Answer 3

It's natural to still have feelings for a person even after they hurt you. Considering you are not married, I would definitely learn from this relationship and move on. You alone cannot "make" it work. It would take his cooperation and it doesn't sound like he's going to give it. His past is a big indicator of his future. This should be a great lesson for you. Take the lesson and move on. :)

Answer 4

Run the other direction as fast as you can. you are probably visiting and revisiting this situation in your head, perhaps asking yourself "what if....." looking for What you did wrong
and ways it could have been different. Then the is the "if only..." game. I know the pain am in it myself now, I kicked him out a year ago.....I still have not divorced and I continue to hear I love Ilove you, but his sex addiction has progressed and he has gotten worse. He is a cheat and a liar. When he
calls with his tail between his legs all sad and depressed and says I am going to be 100% honest, he is lying!!! So until your husband makes significant changes in his behavior, shows some remorse and asks for forgiveness and you are convinced he is sincere then you can revisit the relationship.There was no honesty in the marriage, it was built on quicksand instead of a rock solid foundation.

Answer 5

I am so sorry.

You are in an emotionally abusive relationship. It is not a real marriage because there is no trust, no intimacy and I don't know if he truly loves you. His actions say otherwise. And he makes fun of you. This relationship is destroying your self esteem, your confidence and your life. Don't let this man destroy you. Fight for yourself.

You are sinking into depression. Leave this man, stay with someone you can trust and get couselling and help. You are going to hit rock bottom soon, and you know he won't be there for you... You are worth MORE THAN THIS! and you deserve better.

Stay with your mother and file for divorce. I am a believer in the sanctity of marriage, but this has not been a true marriage since he has been cheating on you from the beginning and making fun of you.

You are a wonderful woman and you will find a better man, one who loves you for who you are. He doesn't love you, and as hard as it is, it is time to let go.

Answer 6

Girl you already know the answer, you don't need us cause we are going to say exactly what you feeling.

I agree with pictures, you do only have yourself to blame now. It is clear that you have learnt very bad examples in life so that you allow this guy to treat you like a whore, well using you till he can find another whore for the moment.

Instead of generating energy on GOING CRAZY generate it on getting a LIFE!!!

Next time he wants sex with you ask for cash cause you need to start some serious saving and get a new town, new house, new job, new councelling, new phone number and remember never ever answer his call for no reason, he had his chance and blew it.....he blew it on another girl trapped just like you!!!

Finally...When you have really had enough you will get out for good. Remember you don't want to live a life of regret and it sounds like your doing just that girl.....You gave this guy 6 years of your life to waste so how many more years are you going to give him to waste before you realise what LOVE is.

I know your scared but believe me I have been there and wow!! I don't know why I stayed so long. When you truely find yourself and love yourself you will agree you don't need a man or anybody else to make you somebody, you just need a committed YOU!!!!

Say face to face in the mirror
If I stay with my husband and nothing changes, I will be ......... (Sad, Happy, Jealous, Contented, Prisoner, Lonely, Free, Loved, Fearful)
If I leave my husband, gain control of my life, do what I want, I will be.......... (Sad, Happy, Dissappointed, Contented, Bitter, Lonely, Free, Successful, Loved)

Answer 7

As heartless as this is gonna sound, you have only yourself to blame for your troubles with your husband, for it was YOU that have continuously allowed him to cheat and mistreat you in the way that he has. You are probably one of these girls who always complain about their guy but do nothing about it. People treat you the way you teach them to treat you. If you for one minute think that one day he will wake up and change, you are mistaken. He has learned to disrespect you and no one can love someone where there is no respect. Stop crying and complaining unless you are ready to do something about your situation. Otherwise no one can help you. Start by seeing why it is you do not think yourself worthy of being loved, cherished and respected. This is where your real problem is. Until you fix this, even if you leave this man, you will be in the same boat with another man unless you learn to love yourself first. I do hope you do what is right for you. God Bless!

Answer 8

Stop for one minute and seriously think....in ten years, how will things be better if I stay with this man. And in ten years, how will things be if I move on?
You have a better chance of being happy if you move on. You know if you're happy or not.
And don't jump into another relationship so quickly. You've been hurt mentally and emotionally, and REALLY need to heal and work on yourself first.

What if you have a sister, best-friend, or daughter (if you don't already)....what would you want her to do if you were watching her go through this?

And pray for strength and healing.

Answer 9

You are worth much,much more than this. No human being should have that power over you, ever. Focus on yourself. Surround yourself with people that will be positive. GO AWAY,,you need to leave that place. Remove yourself from his grip physically and then with time, mentally. You need to put yourself togheter. I believe you can do this. I believe you have the inner strenght to realize that the people here in YA are trying to help you. Value yourself,,,start right now,,put an end to self pity and unhappiness and live again,,,,,live again.

Answer 10

I would tell him to find the door and get the hell out. You don't need this dirt bag. im sure after you do that and you get yourself back on track, you'll be the one to have the last laugh. I'm telling you right now. you got one of the worst. There are lots of great men that would treat you like a little princess. Don't be scared, be strong.