Is he telling the truth?

Question

I know I keep posting this, but I need to understand this guy in order to just let this go.

He is 25 - three yrs younger than me - still lives w/parents.
We dated for 4-5 mnths and when he lied to me about talking to his ex gf, I broke up with him. The NEXT DAY he got back together with her and told her he was in love with her.

I havent talked to him for 2 months until last night. I told him I knew he ran to her because he knew she would take him back. He told me he was too afraid of his feelings for me because he was so incredibly in love with me, that he took the cowards way out and strung her along. THEN he told me that he ended all contact with her two weeks ago because he could no longer lie to her about wanting her when he really was in love with me.

He knows I wont take him back, so he didnt have to tell me any of this. He said he cant get over this - he is too in love with me now. I saw the look in his eyes. I believe him - but its not that easy with me.

I just want to know what you think is the REAL story here.

"Please dont say he's your ex why do you care"

because I do.

Sorry so long.

Answer 1

You evidently aren't getting the answer you want to hear, that is why you keep posting the question. You will do what you want anyways.

Move on - the guy is with another woman.

Don't waste your time waiting for something hat won't happen...you deserve better.

Answer 2

I think you should give him another chance. This must be very hard, I understand...It's not so easy to just take him back after what he has done to you...He probably ran to his ex gf because he might have wanted to re-think his relationship with you, maybe he wasn't too sure he loved you. I think that after going back to his ex gf, it was like a chance for him to realize who he truly cares about. I believe that he was just confused and didn't know how to deal with the situation. Try to give him a chance, sometimes, everyone needs a second chance right? To me, it seems like he really wants to prove you wrong. I see that by the way he isn't trying to tell you any of this because he knows that you won't take him back. Look at his eyes again, do you still see the same person? If you believe in him, it might just be enough.

Answer 3

I hate to say this, but I honestly think he's full of it. It sounds like this guy can't commit to anything -- he can't commit to you, he can't commit to her, he can't even commit himself to moving out and getting his own life at the age of 25.

The thing is, 4-5 months of dating in the grand scheme of things isn't a very long time. It's certainly not long enough to know that you are 'incredibly in love' with someone; someone you'll forget about the very next day. Literally.

It's more likely that they had some trouble that he hasn't told you about and their break-up was mutual, not him 'ending all contact with her'. I'm suspicious that it might even be the other way around.

This is not a guy you want to get tangled up with. He is too immature for you; he will only break your heart over and over again.

Answer 4

Listen ur heart's telling u to believe him cause u want to be with him so bad my your mind is telling you something else cause if he lied to you first of all he'll do it again....but you want to give him the benifit of the doubt. But it's a new time and that lame excuse that he loves you so much and that he is afraid of his feelings for you is bulls%$t sorry to be so frank but he's a crowd, you should just ask him to tell you the truth...his other girl probably doesn't want his lying butt....Girl I suggest u let it go! cause 4-5 months is not worth a headache. And i'm not a man basher I've been with my man 4 years now and I just don't take any crap and u shouldn't either!!!!

Answer 5

Girl, you need to grow up and get over yourself more than you need to get over him. For a 28 y.o., you don't seem to have much experience and insight into yourself or your ex. Or much respect for yourself, either. Are you so desperate to have a guy that you will take anybody? Let's see: you dated for not very long - less than 6 months - he lied to you, so you broke up with him. Okay. Then, he IMMEDIATELY runs back to his ex, and says he loves her. Then you two each tell each other a lot of cockamamie stories about running to someone else, lies, stringing along...

The plain and simple fact is that not one of the three of you ppl involved in this story appears to know what you really want, other than a lot of drama. I honestly don't think you know who you all love. Either you all want what you can't have, or you all just tell ppl things about love, because you are all so confused. You all need to live on your own for awhile, and to learn to live drama-free, because these are all just words about "love", w no meaning attached. What he told you sounds like a load of horse manure, because if he was "so in love w you" then why would he be "stringing along someone else" that he - get this - LIED TO YOU ABOUT. Hello!!?? He is telling you a great big story, IMO, and you are lapping it all up, because the 3 of you are all so confused. Dollars to donuts, she dumped him, and now he wants to get back with you...

Develop a healthy self respect, grow up, and find someone who is mature enough to have a real relationship instead of the stupid little high-school games you are describing!!!!!

Answer 6

If you really believe him take him back! But don't come back crying when he lies again which he will do! How do I know because I'm a guy and were all hard wired the same until we figure out that lying wont get us anywhere we will keep lying!! Good luck.

Answer 7

From a guys perspective, I think he's full of it. Guys are good liars. More than likely she dumped him on his **** and he's trying to get back with you and will say stuff to do it, because he knows he can probably lie about it and you won't ever find out.

I'm sure you guys have gone though some stuff together, but he's 3 years younger at 25 AND lives at home? I obviously don't know you, but I bet you can do a lot better than him.

Answer 8

I understand why you care, but if you are not interested in taking him back you should do your best to avoid contact with him until you can move on. Consider yourself lucky that you only invested 4-5 months of your life, instead of 4-5 years.

Answer 9

Sounds more like he is playing you. He seems to want to keep all options open.

I know you care and it makes your heart hurt, but it is not worth the stress you are going through right now. You can find someone else who will respect you so much more.

Try to move on and stop talking to him outside of a hello if you pass him on the street. He is not worth your energy at this point.

Answer 10

I'm in the same boat but i dated him for 3 years. Its not easy but please listen dont believe him. Dont go back. And you do want to know the real story. It will hurt to much. So just let time do it thing and get over it. I know its hard but trust me its better! Maybe you can be his friend but if things get weird stop all contact. My ex try to call but i dont give him the time. So you shouldnt either. Trust me...