physically attracted to?
We get along well, we have fun. He just does not rev my engine.
2007-12-13 08:49:47 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
almost all of your answers are good, I don't understand the comments about being shallow. I am NOT shallow. I did not say he was unattractive, I said that I am NOT attracted to him. There is a big difference.
2007-12-13 09:12:25 · update #1
Also, Ihave had lots of people tell me that this is normal. That the sex and the attraction die.
We have been together over a year, we are not kids either.
To be honest I was never really attracted to him.
2007-12-13 09:43:22 · update #2
Take it from me, I was once married to a girl I had a lot of fun with. We liked the same things, ate the same foods. I thought this was it, I mean how could it be any better than to be married to a friend. I thought she was great to be around, but not neccesarily all that and a bag of chips when it came to affection and sex. It lasted for a few years, but I realized this was not it. I was not complete. It ended sadly for her, I on the other hand found someone whom I actually loved and adored. We then became friends, and that's the difference.
I have been married for 17 years now and absolutely adore my wife. I realized after I met her that a relationship without the "rev" is just a glorified friendship. Not a mutually shared romantic loving marriage.
Yoda out
2007-12-13 08:56:45 · answer #1 · answered by Yoda 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It depends on a lot of things. Were you attracted to him once and just are not any more, or have you never been attracted to him since you first started dating? If the latter, then I would say you'd best end the relationship, because otherwise you'll feel much too pressured and will never be able to look at him as other than a friend. Sometimes chemistry just doesn't work.
On the other hand, if you were attracted to him once, and are only just now noticing that the fire is kind of dying, there are ways to get it back, but you need to be willing to address the problem as a couple. You have to think about what was so good when you first got together and why, and then do more of it. It's easy to fall into a rut when you've been dating a long time.
Finally, think about what it is that's important to you in a relationship...ANY relationship, not one with him specifically. If you feel you need a relationship where physical attractiveness is pretty important, you'd do best to let him go. And that's not shallow, btw...it's simply your particular personality and there's nothing wrong with feeling that way. But if you do, you gotta be honest...it would be crueler to string him along, trying to "spare his feelings", knowing all the while that it will never work for you. If you need to feel physically attracted to someone in your relationships, and he's not doing it, then best to be kind and let him find someone who will be able to give him what he needs.
2007-12-13 16:57:51 · answer #2 · answered by Vangorn2000 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have no chemistry and you've tried, I wouldn't continue. Maybe you were only meant to be friends. Just because you are of the opposite sex and enjoy your time together doesn't mean that you were meant to be a couple. On the other hand, think about how you would feel were he not in your life as a boyfriend. If you can live with it, move on. If you can't, think about how important his appearance is going to be to your relationship.
EDIT:
"Also, I have had lots of people tell me that this is normal. That the sex and the attraction die."
Not normal. It may become less intense after awhile (a long while), but it shouldn't die. You sound like you're settling.
2007-12-13 16:53:35 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It depends. Sometimes the better you get to know a person, the more attractive they can become. I would say, tell him you're not sure if you have feelings for him but enjoy his company. I would be honest with him, and very often the physical will develop with time. (ie after 10 dates or so... if you have known him for longer than that, then I would seriously consider just being friends.)
2007-12-13 16:55:34 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
To be honest, I wouldn't sell yourself short. I would let this guy know that you enjoy his company and hes really awesome but you're just not sure how you feel, do not tell him you are not attracted to him, a major blow to his ego will not make him more attractive, only hurt his feelings, Maybe keep trying depending on how long youve been together already, usually if your in a relationship you know if you should be in it or not, i would think your not very passionate about him, maybe you should throw in the towel.
2007-12-13 17:01:08 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There alot of factors involved here. How did u reach this point? Are u married? If so would some counselling fix this process. I would give it a chance first off and if your married seek counselling cause there might be other factors at work here.
2007-12-13 17:11:23 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Then I guess ur more friends then anything, don't string him along. People are more then just physical appearance, ur to love that person regardless of looks. U obviously don't love him or u can get past the appearance.
2007-12-13 16:54:14 · answer #7 · answered by ♥Pure Evil♥ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Attraction is the icing on the cake. If you are not attracted to this man, then it is not going to work. Sorry.
2007-12-13 16:55:37 · answer #8 · answered by Becca 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it works for you then why not? I can't help but wonder though why you ask? Something must be wrong.
2007-12-13 17:52:03 · answer #9 · answered by Poppy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ronnie S. Only if he understands that you are just buds !
2007-12-13 16:54:08 · answer #10 · answered by lonewolf 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋