we have just been married 3 mos now & already having serious issues i found him tellin another girl "i love you" and found the lyrics crashed by chris daughtry sent to another. now im not sure what to do..save my marriage or divorce? i cant get over it.it hurts so bad the song was to A FRIEND of mine even?! help me.. im lost.. i dont want too loose him but im going insane. i got stress out the a$$ and everything. i dont want my son to loose his daddy but, i dont know wat to do!
save or leave?!
HELP
2007-12-13 08:24:36 · 60 answers · asked by ~*Wonderin*~ 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i cant even see me with out him.
this is so freakin hard.
2007-12-13 08:29:59 · update #1
they girl he said "i love you too are friends.." well was.. but friends say LUV YA' and he said to her she had till 5 to come see him.. (b4 i got homee) and the song he said he was tryin to build her slef esteem BUT its a LOVE SONG
2007-12-13 08:32:34 · update #2
if you want our ages fine.. i just did not want to b called immature blah blah.. im 20 and hes 25.. our son is 1.. and NO we did not get married beacuse of our son.. he begged me forever and i wouldnt give in. and i fianlly did. he was never like this to MY knowledge b4 we got married!
2007-12-13 08:42:34 · update #3
WTF you need to have a sit down have the kid go over to grandparents or something because you need to seriously chew a big piece out your hubby's butt.
Ask your hubby what he thinks he is doing flirting with other woman and if he is like this it is over that your not going to be
married to no player. This is pathetic 3 months don't tell me you just said yes for the bling if you did it is your own fault.
Really this guy needs his head taken off by you do not let him walk away you need to talk tell him this is serious and cannot wait. That you are not going to stand by while he cheats or flirts or chats with other woman online that you deserve respect and devotion from the person your married too.
That he is the father to your child and that he has responsibilities to his family and that his single lifestyle is over.
God Bless and Best Wishes.
One other thing if these are friends of yours doing this crap maybe it is time to tell them to Foff. Because they are crossing the bonds of marriage.
2007-12-13 08:41:09 · answer #1 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"communication" is the answer. When he's in a decent mood, say to him that you are aware of what he did and it didn't sound right to you and you'd like to know why he did that.
Marriage is commitment, and it's also overlooking the flaws of the other person and accepting them. But if it has anything to do with cheating then there is a problem and a violation. Either he doesn't know his bounds (as he agreed to when he married you), or he's being encouraged by friends and peers, or he doesn't realize that he is supposed to walk away from single friends once he gets married. He needs knowledge of what a married man is supposed to do. If his father is long-termed married then have him talk with his father. If you know a pastor then maybe you both need to so see the pastor. If neither of those exist or are possible, then a counselor (not a psychologist or shrink) for just a general consultation (although this kind could get rough and bring out lots of other stuff you may not be able to cope with yet). Good luck.
2007-12-13 08:33:44 · answer #2 · answered by sophieb 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hummm. I was at a loss until I read "I don't want my son to loose his Daddy". Is the child his? Did he marry you because of the child? A lot of this could center around your ages. You sound very young. Going into marriage at any age and without a child, is hard work. You have just heaped a lot more baggage on top of what's already difficult. Your husband probably feels trapped. I have a real problem with folks getting pregnant before they are ready(or married). There are many available products out there to prevent it. I would suggest you discuss this with him and get some counseling. If he is playing now, it's only going to get worse. I feel sorry for the little boy caught in the middle of all this. He should be your first priority.
2007-12-13 08:35:37 · answer #3 · answered by janice 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only you can really answer this question. What I can say is that if you stay with him it will always hurt a little bit. My then boyfriend (now husband) was caught in a hotel room with another girl; I took him back and forgave him. He was later caught talking sexually to many other women and I forgave him for all that he did. It still hurts, and I don't completely trust him. And I’m at the point of really considering divorcing him. You never truly feel the same about the man after you know he has hurt you even though you love him and have a child with him (mines 2 months old).
2007-12-13 08:46:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to sit down and have a serious heart to heart with him. It is really so soon in the marriage to have these types of issues. However, if this is the way he is going to act (immature and unmarried) better you find out now instead of years down the line. After you talk to him you then should decide what you want to do. What is best for you, and then go forward. You do not deserve to be treated like this and staying together for the sake of the child is not always what is best for the child if the parents are not able to love and trust one another. Get rid of the girlfriend, she is not innocent in this situation. Believe that! She is not your friend... Good luck and God bless****
2007-12-13 08:29:56 · answer #5 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So sorry to here. Your son should not have to loose his daddy even if the two of you split. I would not encourage to split although at the same time it sounds as though the situation is in no way healthy for you. You must do what will be best for you and your son.
This takes time. Talk with someone do not let your emotions get all twisted this is your health and mental state. If you are down your son will be affected also.
Love SDF
2007-12-13 08:36:42 · answer #6 · answered by SabbathDayFreedom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, I am so sorry to hear you are going through this but i have to ask you one question and that is did you not have any idea that he was like this before you married him, I know love can be blind at times that explains an ex husband of mine and i emphasis with you but remember your little boy will not lose his daddy even if you did decide to leave he will always be his daddy, if when you are ready to say enough is enough try and look at this phrase "pick yourself up, dust yourself down and start all over again", I know it sounds corny but it helped me I hope you get to sort things out for yourself and your little boy, sometimes we are better on our own than in a bad marriage. I hope this helps, take care of yourself and Happy Christmas and Happy New Year to you and your little boy.
2007-12-13 08:36:21 · answer #7 · answered by denwy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't say how old you are (and his age too) and how long you dated before you got married. Obviously, if you have a son, he was conceived months before the marriage. Surely, you must have seen some signs of his immaturity before you decided to get married. If he betrayed others to be with you, its not unusual for him to continue acting that with with others. How committed is he - or how committed is he willing to be. You obviously need to confront this situation head on. Give him an opportunity to explain and hopefully change (if that is what you want. Otherwise, consider the consequences of moving on with your life. If you do move on, don't make the mistake of falling for someone else until you know for sure you have thought it all through. Good luck.
2007-12-13 08:36:57 · answer #8 · answered by Coach D. 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it depends do you think that he would do something like this again? You may need to talk to him and ask him why he's doing these things. Your son wouldn't lose his daddy at all his dad can still be in his life even if you two are divorced. Just ask yourself can you trust him to not do this again? You pick. I'm not gonna decide for you,but if this were me I would definitely kick his but to the curb because once a cheater always a cheater.
Good Luck!
2007-12-13 08:32:09 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
the first year of marriage is the hardest! its odd because the first few months of marriage couples are still in thet *lovey dovey* state. i hope you guys didnt marry just for the child. he may just have the after marriage jitters. dont give up just yet, at least get thru a year then see where you stand. talk to him about it and try to get him to open up about the way he really feels. im sure having a baby makes it hard for private time, but i think you guys need to communicate more. cant hurt to try. show him how much you love him and make him realize how much he would be losing if he wanted out of yr marriage. dont give up yet sweetie ok ...... fight for him a lil then decide:) GOOD LUCK!
2007-12-13 08:32:17 · answer #10 · answered by sweetthang8t 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋