My Grandad died a few years ago, I still haven't gotten over it completely. I can talk about him sometimes without getting upset though, and of course I have my moments when I feel upset, but I feel that I can't talk to my mum about it or my sister as I don't want to get them upset, it then gets bottled up, but I let it out when I'm alone every now any then.
Decorating the tree tonight with the christmas music on I don't feel it's right to be happy without my grandad here... I smile when I think of him and gosh I loved him like anything he was an amazing man!
I know he is a better place where he is, not suffering and everything, and is it selfish wanting him back? Due to the circumstances he was under when alive my mum said he is better of where he is... and yes I agree but I would do anything to have him back, and because of this I feel selfish...
How can I think of him without getting upset..? How can I feel better knowing he isn't going to be here for yet another christmas?
x
2007-12-13 07:56:16 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Also I'm 14 now... I was 11 when He passed away, and I saw him carried out on the stretcher just before he died... I have had 1 or 2 nightmares since he passedn of this.
2007-12-13 07:58:10 · update #1
Hi sweetheart,
What your feeling is normal, darling - When someone you love, and care for, like you said for your grandad passes away, it feels like the worlds going to end, doesn't it?
I really, dont think bottling your feelings up is going to help, when your feeling so upset, about this, maybe it would bring you and your mum closer together, to talk about this?
As Much as you want to bring him back, I don't think thats selfish at all, I think it's more than natural to want to bring someone back who sadly passed away....It's human, sweetie.
Maybe, you could do something for him for christmas this year? How would he want you to feel at christmas? Would he want you to be sad that he's not there in person? He's always looking down on you.
Take care sweetie.
2007-12-14 01:45:20 · answer #1 · answered by Jennifer 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am in a similar situation with my mum she had a severe stroke at the end of may and was in hospital until the end of october and this christmas it feels strange like it is not christmas at all even though i have my tree and decorations up and have done hers for her something is missing,she cannot talk properly and is immobile so the mum I had is now gone and she cannot come back , she is still the same on the inside but in a way it is still a loss to get over ,4 weeks before my mum had a stroke my auntie who was my godmother died suddenly so I know where you are coming from, it is hard but I know she wouldn't want me to be sad and would be really uoset if she knew and knowing that helps, there was nothing you could have done to make it not happen and you would not be human if you didn't miss him like crazy it is all part of the grieving process, You would give anything to have him back but maybe he wouldn't want that, but what i can guarantee is that he would want you to be happy, think about him, say happy christmas to him as you don't know he might be around you somewhere and enjoy your family times together for him,maybe have a talk with your mum from past experience people bottle it up and that does not help you get over it and you will probably find she is glad of someone to talk about him to aswell,
I hope you feel a bit better when you read the other posts, when i started to write there were only 2 but i bet you have lots of answers by now.
Take care,
Louise
2007-12-13 08:19:57 · answer #2 · answered by mel 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2016-04-15 07:06:00 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey
When you think of him just remember all the good times you had. Maybe pull out all the old pictures and make some kind of scrapbook to help you remind yourself of all the times you had. When you think of him, remember him smiling and all the things you did together. Sure you want him back, It's only natural. My Grandad died when I was 12 and it hurt and i wanted him back. it's not selfish to want that. It's only natural. Christmas is a time to enjoy just remember those good times. I hope it helps.
xx
2007-12-13 19:54:39 · answer #4 · answered by CP 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My grandad died on the 23rd October this year i have been upset ever since.
This will be my first christmas without him and yes it's bringing me down but my grandad was really sick so i know that he is now happier.
Just think like that.
2007-12-13 09:52:14 · answer #5 · answered by Faith--x 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
remember good fun you and your grandad had and it is never selfish to want them back. always remember that you can't see him but he is looking down at yu and wants you to be happy and he is in a better place probably with his parents and other people he loved that he had lost. know that he loved you wen you where alive and will always love you! if you are still missing him so is your mum! he was her father right? and your whole family is probably still missing him.but if you talk to them about it they won't get sad they will proably think of the fun things they did with him and light a candle for him while you decorate or open presents so he is kind of there andwon't make you so sad at christmas!
merry chistmas!
2007-12-13 08:25:35 · answer #6 · answered by ☆☃❀ ~♥~♪ tigger bitten ♪~♥~ ❀☃☆ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2016-05-16 04:17:03 · answer #7 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Aw, that's a shame for you. But it's ok to be sad you know. I'm 36 and in the supermarket the other day i started crying after i donated a couple of quid to the people collecting for cancer charities, as that's how my granddad died a couple of years ago. It's good to remember them, even if you do shed a tear, but remember, he wouldn't want you to be upset. And how do you know for sure your mum wouldn't want to talk to you about it? She might appreciate the fact you really care and she probably feels the same. Try it and see. Happy Christmas to you and your family x
2007-12-13 08:03:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
First of all feel free to talk to you mom and sister about your Grandad. If they get upset so what..........those are tears that will help in healing the pain. My mom passed away 11 years ago. It felt hard to go on without her..........but I woke one day and realized she would want me to be happy and celebrate my life and the lives of the rest of my family.
2007-12-13 08:03:48 · answer #9 · answered by JS 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh Honey, I'm sorry about your loss. It's ok to grieve and feel that way, if he was an special grandad and you miss him you don't need to feel bad about it. Don't feel guilty eaither if it is a happy Christmas, I bet he's in heaven and would like to see you happy. If you believe in God you must know this earthly life has an ending but the spiritual life doesn't. You will meet him again one day. Be glad you got to know him and had a special grandad. ((hugs))
2007-12-13 08:03:15 · answer #10 · answered by Baby Ruth habla español 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋