I really need some ADULT advice about dating younger men, from older women if possible..??

Question

I know I already asked this question but I think mostly unexperienced teens answered
I need some dating tips, what should I expect from a younger guy early 20's, what should I not do, what is the downside to this type of relationship ?
Do I have to wait for them to mature, or can I mold him..?? If you've dated or married a younger guy, please advise

Answer 1

I married a guy younger than me. He will want to play more. Most guys in their early 20's are still into things like video games and it isn't something you can just break them of over night. Don't talk about marriage and kids because it will send him running for the hills. Play it cool. And what ever you do, don't start acting too bossy or nagging him. If you are much older than him, all he will see is that you are trying to be his mother. Dating a younger guy and even marrying a younger guy can be wonderful. They aren't whipped by the responsibilities of the world so they are more care-free and they can add more spice to your life. Just remember that while an older woman dating a younger man can put you into a different category with your friends, it can do the same for him. Be prepared. If there are quite a few years between the two of you, don't be surprised if his own peer group have some snarky comments about you dating. From somewhat nice (hey, it's Stiffler's Mom) to calling you a cougar. If you don't know these references, Stiffler was a character in the movie American Pie and one of his friends got the priviledge of sleeping with his mom. A cougar is a slang term to describe a 35+ year old female who is on the "hunt" for a much younger, energetic, willing-to-do-anything male. If this does happen, just chalk it up to the fact that they are threatened by you and have fun. Be mindful that many men, regardless of age, are out to have fun but not necessarily in for a relationship. Make sure you establish what you are after first. If all you want is a man that can go all night, you will find some one out there eager to prove they can. If you want the relationship thing, it can get a little tougher. Most men in this age group are not looking for the domestic bliss relationship. Sowing their wild oats and making memories is for them. If you are lucky you will find a 22-23 year old and have a few good years of fun and then he will mature into the guy who is ready to marry. That's how it happened for me. Now we have wedded bliss but my guy is still in his 20's and I am in my 30s so the fun still continues. Good luck and remember that the best way to approach any relationship is to think about the person first, age second. Have fun.

Answer 2

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Answer 3

It is usually best to date someone that would have gone to high school at the same time you did. That means a 4-5 year difference in ages or less. You'll have more things in common. I am 5 years older than my honey, and it didn't make any difference to us. The long distance relationship is a problem. If you 2 can't be in the same country then it can't work. If neither of you cannot or will not move to be within 50 miles of each other then it is best to set each other free. I am sorry. Don't wait too long. Decide now how long you should wait for a move, and then stick to the breaking off point. Good luck!

Answer 4

I'm not sure on what to tell you...

But I am 27 currently dating a 36 year old woman. It's pretty good. No complaints.

Before that I was dating a 20 year old girl. That is something I will never do again.

Early 20's should be okay for you... depending on your age... I mean if you're 50 something that would be bad.

And the suggestion to not keep referring to the age difference is great advice.

Answer 5

Whenever I encounter younger men I don't think about the age difference. I've dated several and enjoy the company, but eventually we have to socialize with our friends, that's when the age difference becomes an issue. There are a number of young men who are more mature and experienced than men my age. I would rather date them but I wouldn't establish a long term relationship. It wouldn't be fair to the guy who will be stuck with a senior citizen in 20 years or more. When I meet a young man I usually establish the boundaries up front , saves having a long heart wrenching goodbye.

Answer 6

I think if you want a serious realtionship looking for a guy in his early 20's probably isn't the best way. For most guys that age, marriage or being tied down in a relationship is the last thing that they want. So, make sure from day one that you both are on the same page. Also, trying to "mold" someone isn't a good idea. You should like the person for who they are, not for what you want them to be. I have no idea how much of an age gap you are talking about here...

Answer 7

I married a younger guy we have been together 30+ years it is just like any relationship you get what you put in . If you are looking for someone to mold I say forget about it. You have to start with someone who can have a conversation after sex or you will get bored. Men mature at different ages just like women so maybe his age doesn't matter. My husband is 5 years younger but he has always been more mature then his age . What can he offer you or do you have bring everything to the table? You can have a baby, you don't need someone to raise.

Answer 8

I am 40 and I married someone who is now 52. She is the most beautiful person I have ever met. I can't imagine life with a younger woman. I had dated a lot of them too.

Answer 9

I dated a guy that was 3 years younger than me. It was very hard. It went on for 4 months...we had fun...but then we had some issues too. Like when we hung out with his friends..they are all his age. It made me feel a little weird cause I wasn't into what they were. Plus he wasn't 21 yet, so we couldn't go to the places that I wanted to. Some ladies can date younger guys..and it works for them. but just be careful...he might pull the "i'm not ready for that yet", or "i'm going to a house party" stuff like that. Molding isn't going to happen, but you can just tell him exactly what you look for in a guy and find out if you guys can make it. Good Luck.

Answer 10

I have dated younger guys, and the sex was awesome, but they seemed to have too much baggage for me (being an older woman). Most were dealing ex wives and child support or bad credit etc.. stuff I didn't want to deal with. Not saying ALL young guys are in the same situation. As for maturity, good luck finding that in a man at any age.

Answer 11

Early 20's? Well, they are still basically unsure of themselves and the world around them. Depending on the kind of guy you get, he's probably more into having fun and collecting possessions.

Don't make references to the age gap, remember that he's probably a little sensitive to it as well. It's not unlike dating someone your age so just go with what feels comfortable.

Have fun, don't try to mother or mold him, he'll resent it if you do.