Please help having problems with wife?

Question

Me and wife have been married since July and she is now pregnant I am 99% sure it is mine with the time frame. I believe she and her ex want to get back together. He called the other day and him and his wife were having trouble she went into other room and then outside( never did that before) Read her phone text and saw where she had said that she never had really loved me and that someone had said to wait until after holidays and hope he wasnt bluffing (not me) should I ask her about this?

Answer 1

Heck Yes You better ask her about it.....She is your wife you better fight for her and your child.

***I am so glad that you KNOW that it's yours.....Fight for her.....The ex has a pull on her that she on her own Can't fight....He just wants her because the other relationship is failing and she is his safety net or ego feeder.....

Answer 2

No. You don't need to ask. You need to leave and be responsible for your child from outside and try to be the best parent you can ever be, for your child. And let these 2 to figure things out if they want, but you need the respect you deserve, which is not being given, and the right to find a faitfully partner and never say 99% sure the kid is mine, unless that's the kind of life you want, and you are with the right partner to have it.

Don't ask questions that wont give you an answer you will do much. If you are asked then just say why you are doing it, that shouldn't have been done, ever. Take control of your life, do what is right.

Answer 3

That's pretty painful for you to find in a text. Wow! Confront her as soon as possible. Marriage is a partnership which exists when two people love each other. If she says she doesn't really love you, then there's reallly not a marriage...except maybe mechanical. Your life is YOURS, and don't ever feel like you have to live it for someone else because it's the "right thing" to do. In actuality, your happiness is the most important, and happiness is an indicator that you're moving on the path of your life. You can still love your child and be a father without being married to her. I wish you courage and strength. Good luck. :)

Answer 4

Yes, sticking your head in the sand will not make things go away. You are only postponing the inevitable. My advise for you is to get a divorce because it is clear that your wife is not in love with you, or else she would not have said those things. However, that does not mean you also loose your rights as a father. That is your baby, you will love him/her no matter what. And you can still be there for the baby even if you guys are divorce. And don't take her back if she comes running back. You deserves someone that loves you and only you.

Answer 5

Check to see if your wife wrote the text or was it from the other person. Sometime you don't want to assume the other person thinking, and never the third person thinking that is trying to invade the relationship.
If you love your wife, plan for a small trip during the holiday. See her reaction. If she is deterime to go. Than you have no chance. But if she does feel that she doesn't know what to do. Than you can use this chance to make things better.

Answer 6

First off, you sound pretty clear. Now I'm not one to promote divorce, nor am I one to promote consciously choosing to stay unhappy. Everything else aside (affair etc)...if you were to walk out today, would you have any regrets? Is there anything left to salvage? Have you tried counseling? Have you tried asking her what she wants more of or less of in the marriage and from you? Have you shared your feeling with her and asked her if she's willing to be your partner in revitalizing your marriage (provided you can forgive her and move yourself past the affair). Lastly, when I went through my own divorce there was a period where I was in limbo and couldnt fathom the thought of sharing my kids during holidays etc. Ultimatly, it came down to the fact that I couldn't stomach the possibility of having my 3 children witness an unhappy marriage, and repeat it in their own lives (we all know children learn what they live, not necessarily what we tell them). Plus, I had an unwilling partner to work on it. After 4 years of trying every angle, I decided to leave. I had, and have never had any regrets (plus, I now enjoy a positive relationship with my ex). When you explore every angle and try everything, the answer will come to you. Be wary of any assumptions you might have about divorce or staying married, like "my daughter will be ruined/damaged for life", "our marriage can never be the same", etc....stay open to miracles...either way! I have lived them, and I know you can too.

Answer 7

Yes, you need to ask her.
It sounds like she is planning to leave you after the Holiday's and has no interest in being with you. Honestly, if this is the case you should let her go. It's apparent that she doesn't love or respect you and you deserve to be with someone who is going to care about you and not talk to their ex behind your back.
Confront her about your findings and find out what's going on.

Answer 8

It's obvious that your wife still loves her ex. Some ex's we just don't let go no matter how many relationships,children and marriages we have. If she never loved you she wouldn't have married you. You are just not what she really wants and she is only telling him that to make him feel good.

Answer 9

Hmmmm... Should you ask her about this? Well, yes I think you should. But I don't think it's a good idea to violate people's privacy and read their phones and snoop and spy. If you really don't trust her then you need to address that - and not by violating her privacy.

But now that you've gone digging and spying you're left with the burden of what you found. I think you're going to have to discuss it. You're not gonna be able to hide that you know it.

This sounds messy, that's for sure.

Good luck with it.

Answer 10

I would absolutely confront her...Let her know that you love her but, if she doesn't feel the same that does not mean if things don't work out you are going to abandon your child...You will still be very much involve in your child's life reguardless of what she plans on doing...Let her know that if her plans are to get back with him and play house they can do whatever they want but, your child is YOURS...Stand up for yourself because it looks like she not with her ex...