What's your opinion on the Dutch couple who adopted a baby and decided 7 years later it "didn't work out"?

Question

They adopted a Korean baby, kept her for 7 years (during which...GOLLY, the mother managed to have two of her own) and just decided the kid wasn't fitting in.

Her nationality is still South Korean (they never bothered changing it), but she doesn't speak the language. The poor kid is in serious limbo.

Imagine the horror of the only mom and dad you ever know saying "we're kicking you out of the family, we have our OWN kids now."

They reportedly decided that it was difficult to raise her due to "culture shock" and that she wasn't willing to eat their food. A 7 year old finicky eater. Boot her out of the family!

I am just blown away by this.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/worldnews.html?in_article_id=501281&in_page_id=1811

http://malaysia.news.yahoo.com/ap/20071211/tap-as-gen-hong-kong-adopted-girl-return-d3b07b8.html

There ya go, folks...two links. Oh, here's a third.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22194269/

The former "father" is a Dutch diplomat named Raymond Poeteray. The girl was 4 months old at adoption.

Answer 1

That's really really sad. As an adoptee, I know that usually when a couple adopts it's because they can't have children of their own - That child is loved and cherished more than a biological child because it's truly a gift.

Even if the courts order that they must care for the child, can you imagine growing up knowing that your parents don't want you? Or being treated differently then their biological children? OMG, that poor little girl!

I'm really surprised that this is going on in Holland - The Dutch are generally very liberal and giving people.

Answer 2

I have never heard of this until now I am outraged and hurt by a family doing something like this obviously in the beginning the couple must have thought somewhere that they could not have children and they decided :let's adopt a bady - I'm cool with that" the Heavenly father helped them turn that dream into a reality now that they have their own children by some miracleous chain of events, they decide "let's give the poor orphan away" my point is what was the point in going through adopting a child into a loving family and getting their hopes up if the only thing you are going to do is throw them out like trash.

Answer 3

These so called 'parents' should do some time. That's redicolous, if u take that responsibility to take care for a child, it's not a freakin toy that u can just throw away when I get bored with it. That's wrong! But to look on the other side, maybe better off to take the kid out of there before they start treating the poor kid like a slave or something. Sux! But what can we do, we're nobody to tell them not to get rid of that poor kid. Hopefully there's someone out there who will want to adopt that poor child and give a better life for her.

Answer 4

I hadn't heard about this but I am shocked. Wow they decided to adopt a baby from another country and didn't bother to teach her the language? She is 7 years old they had plenty of time to adjust her to the culture. Thats just flat amazing. I would yank their other kids too just in case they decided that those kids would be to much work after 7 years. What a bunch of idiots!! This is why people shouldn't pro-create.

Answer 5

Sorry, with adoption, all sales are final! You can't decide later that you made a bad decision. What if your biological child is "not working out"? I think some parents feel this way occasionally but you can't take your child back because you think he/she is "defective". Why would adoption be any different? When you make the choice to adopt, you are committed to that child for life. End of story.

Answer 6

I'm not surprised. I'll get thumbs down for this, but people do it with their animals on a daily basis. They dump them like they are garbage.

I feel horrible for this child. However she is going to be much better off in the long run with a family that wants her and loves her than with these disasters for parents. I feel badly for the biological children who remain in the home. They lost their sister as well.

I hope this child finds a wonderful loving family soon. Poor thing.

Answer 7

What I don't get:

How can a child have trouble fitting in to their culture when she's never known the Korean culture? I mean, what kind of influence would that be up to 4 months old?

Answer 8

Bad Dutch apple!!!
I can't believe it!
Why is this the kid's fault? Because she didn't have the heart for it from the beginning? That's the reason people with a heart for kids, and no children of their own have to undergo such grilling for stupid people like these!
I would take that kid any time! Culture shock my a*ss!

Answer 9

Do you have a link to the whole story, i hadn't heard this yet
That is so sad and disgusting.
What kind of people would do that, my heart goes out to that little girl.Hopefully she will find a family that cares about her.
When the other kids grow up and learn about this ,they will feel very guilty too, though its not their fault.
Those parents have just messed up so many peoples lives.

Answer 10

Good grief, some people keep cars longer than these so-called parents kept that poor child.
I am disgusted that after seven years they want to 'return' their daughter. I could understand it if it was a few weeks or months if a bond failed to develop, but after YEARS, that child is YOURS! A child is not something you return. You make a commitment and make it work. That poor child is going to suffer from feeling abandoned her whole life.