would you put up with this?

Question

everytime me and my fiance get into a fight...he never talks things over with me he just packs his bags and leaves for the night doesnt call or anything not even the next day then when he comes back over to my house he thinks everythings going to be okay again....im just tired of it...i dont know what hes been out doing and its scaring me to know hes like this...would you keep putting up with it or just say goodbye

anddd he always says hes too tired to make love with me

Answer 1

Say goodbye.....I used to be this way....and he's just throwing a fit.....because he isn't getting his way....

You need to get his attention by not allowing this to happen again....next time he leaves tell him that your done and that he can't come back.....

He has to grow up......and he won't as long as he knows that you allow it.....You are enabling him to behave this way.

Answer 2

You need to say goodbye. There is no reason for anyone to argue, pack a bag and leave without calling or anything which means he is up to something. I would be scared to because by you being in the dark you don't know what he could be bringing home to you. If he's not willing to talk things out then there's no relationship.

Answer 3

Hey, go back and re-read your question. The answers are all there. He is your fiance. You're about to marry this guy? You're about to commit to spending the rest of your life with him?

Let's get a good, simple look at this:

1. He doesn't communicate. When he doesn't get his own way, he just leaves.

2. You don't trust him. You wonder what he's up to when he leaves.

3. He says he's too tired to make love to you. So he's not interested in you sexually either.

I think it's goodbye time. I can't see how there would be any doubt. You can do better than this. I imagine he's having an affair and this is his way of getting out to do his thing. He's not interested in you because he's getting it somewhere else.

This soooooooooo doesn't look good! If you stay in this, you're just going to get burned. Cut your losses now. There are men who would *love* to make love to you and who will be more than willing to talk things out with you and who won't run every time something doesn't go their way.

Get out now before it's too late. Break the engagement and kick him to the curb.

Good luck.

Answer 4

Gracey,
Dont put up with this or him anymore. He is being unreasonable and irresponsible to you. And I dont think he knows how to take care of you or even love you.
This may be hurtful, but, if you do this now atleast you can save a lot of future hurts.
Decide to break with him. Talk to him nicely about it. Dont let it go into fights or arguments or blamegames. That will make you more drained. Just decide and convey the same in as simple words as possible. Since many things have been happening and since he has now said he could not make love to you, it will be easy for you to convey the decision.
It will be painful for you because I understand that you love him. But we have to face the truth in life always. So move on. Take time to heal your hear and wounds before you start a relation with a new guy.
Take care.. All the best..

Answer 5

Who gives a good goddamn what I'd do? What are you going to do? Seems you must really enjoy this because you have no qualms about letting him come back. So do you like being treated this way? Is your only solution to come here and look for answers to a simple question that anyone with any self respect and brains could handle themselves.

Look lady....you want to be used as a doormat by a mother-scratching child who obviously needs to grow up then thats your business. I can tell you this though...neither one of you kiddies...both you and him...are in no way mature enough to become married let alone become involved in a serious relationship.
Ah but hell...why should you be any different than any of the other losers here who think climbing into bed and getting laid is all there is to a relationship, huh?

Answer 6

No reason to call it quits yet. My wife used to do that like 5 yrs ago (we have been married now for 8). In just one year she left 4 times right after an argument. I'm talking,,packing the car with all her belongings and leaving. I used to count the day,,,3 days,,there she was,,back like if nothing had happenned. One day, after an argument, I told her I was going to the store, and withour warning I took off to Miami for a fun weekend at the beach. Two days later and after a trizillion calls and a missing person report, I came back. SHE HAVE NEVER DONE IT AGAIN....

Answer 7

If you havn't read the book, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus by John Gray, you should look into it before you get married to this guy. You should both read it actually. It might solve a lot of you underlying problems with this guy and could help both of you figure out what you want and how to talk to each other. You are engaged to him for a reason and relationships have ups and downs. Try to make it work.

Answer 8

oh don't listen to all these women telling you that he's wrong and that you should dump him!!! What he does is very extreme, but this is a behavior you could probably change.
When you guys argue, he obviously is someone who needs space to think before he speaks. If you escalate to yelling and screaming and you fail to listen to him, he runs. Plain and simple. I am the exact same way. I'd rather leave than deal with the confrontation.
Tell him that it concerns you when he walks out like that. And then LISTEN to what would help him deal with it better.

Answer 9

my husband was like that. He wouldnt physically pack up and leave, but emotionally it was as if he was not there. he would look straight through more and refuse to speak, or acknowlege that i was speaking no matter what. when he got over it, he would expect me to be like nothing ever happened. he never wanted to address the issue, he would just shut down until he wasnt angry anymore not caring how i felt. not respecting my need to talk things out. i could be wrong but something tells me this is more about him not knowing how to express himself and running away from conflict than anything else

Answer 10

No, this is definitely not acceptable... If he loves you, then he needs to face the music and stop running away...

I suggest you talking to him and letting him know how you feel and let him know that the next time he decides he's going to walk out, not to come back.... (you also need to find out if he has someone else, since he's too tired for you) That is usually a sign...

Hold your head up high, if it doesn't work out. There is someone out there for you, and they will eventually come into your life and sweep you off your feet. (when the time is right)

Good Luck and God Bless!

Answer 11

Girl, I would not put up with this. It sounds to me like he just picks a fight with you and leaves; so he can go out and have fun without having to justify himself.

The question now is... Do you want him to keep doing this or are you ready to let him go. and I mean just that. You are the only one that can make that decision, no one else. We can only give you our opinion. I would say leave and find someone who you deserve because this is no life. You deserve much better.