1. Now....Did you see that happening BERFORE or AFTER you started drinking the eggnog?
2. Sweeeeeeetie.....I'm under the mistletoe~~~
3. Wow this place is big! What's this room? I've forgotten my compass.
4. Don't be absurd.
5. Oh, don't apologize!
6. Ossifer....Do you mean to think to say that I am under the affluence of incohol?
7. Awww... this is one of those days that the pages of history teach us are best spent hiding under a cover.
8. Champagne's funny stuff. Whiskey is a slap on the back, and champagne's heavy mist before my eyes. Oh well.....Anything alcoholic will do.
9. No bitterness, no recrimination, just a good swift left to the jaw.
10. God bless us everyone.
2007-12-13 05:29:44 · 6 answers · asked by I am Sunshine 6 in Education & Reference ➔ Words & Wordplay
██ AND HERE IS A NEW CREATION OF MINE I THINK WILL BE FUN!!
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Ajvzt6piUCQyMnQ5pevtQILty6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20071214045415AA4PRqD
2007-12-14 00:18:43 · update #1
THE CHRISTMAS PARTY
“Sweeeeeeetie.....I'm under the mistletoe,” teased Kitty. “You KNOW what you are supposed to do when someone stands under the mistletoe!” George replied disgustedly, “Don’t be Absurd! Do you really think I can’t smell the cigarettes on your breath? Kitty answered forlornly, “I’m sorry. It’s just so hard to quit. I promise I’ll make it my New Year’s resolution to quit smoking.” George answered tiredly under his breath, “How many times have I heard that one?”
Kitty laughed, “I heard that!! OK, just for you, I’ll take a big slug of mouthwash into my dainty little mouth, swish it all around, and spit it out. Will that make things all better?” George replied, “Well, get a move on. We are already late for the Christmas Party. We wouldn’t want them to run out of booze before we get there!!” .... “Fat chance!!” Kitty replied. “We are staying at the MGM Grand Hotel in Las Vegas after all.”
Skip ahead to the party..... “Wow this place is big! What's this room? I've forgotten my compass,” declared George. “It was just a short elevator ride down here, Sweetie,” laughed Kitty. “Aren’t you glad we are staying in this hotel so we don’t have to drive home later?” George merrily answered, “But even so, I think we should have left a trail of bread crumbs back to our room!!” Kitty responded, “Oh! I get it! Just like Hansel and Gretel did so they could find their way home!”
“What can I bring you to drink, my fair lady?” asked George. Kitty replied, “Champagne's funny stuff. Whiskey is a slap on the back, and champagne's heavy mist before my eyes. Oh well.....Anything alcoholic will do as long as it is eggnog, with just a thimble full of rum.” George answered, “Gee, I was wondering when you would get to the point. I tune out after awhile, you know!”
“OK, Kitty, here’s your eggnog. They didn’t have any thimbles, so I just had them put in a regular jigger of rum. Actually, I think the eggnog may have already been spiked.” Kitty replied, “It’s pretty good, George. Way better than that champagne you are drinking, I’ll bet! Let’s dance!”
Kitty and George are headed out to the dance floor, when his boss spots them. “Oh! Kitty! Look who’s here, I’d like to introduce you to my boss, J. Barrington Barrington.” Kitty answered, “Oh that’s just so fuddy duddy, “Can I just call you ‘J’?” J. Barrington Barrington smiled, and replied wickedly, “A beautiful girl like you can call me anything she wants. You don’t mind if I take this dance, do you George?”
J started spinning Kitty around in circles away from his body because every time he pulled her in close, she stepped on his toes. Kitty apologized, “I’m sorry, J. I don’t mean to step on your feet. Just a little too much eggnog, I suppose!” J graciously replied, “Oh, don't apologize! I walk on them too.”
Things went downhill from there, as Kitty dizzily tripped over a potted plant, and barfed all over J as she grabbed at him to maintain her balance. “Damn high heels,” Kitty muttered. “I never could walk in them.” J said irritatedly, “My dear, I think you should go sit down, while I go to the men’s room to see what I can do about my tuxedo. I’ll walk you back to your table.”
Kitty sat down next to George, and asked, “Did you see what happened. Damn! I could just see that happening!!” George answered, “Now....Did you see that happening BEFORE or AFTER you started drinking the eggnog?” Kitty replied, “Well, AFTER, of course. I didn’t even meet J until after. I just meant the way he was spinning me around--it was bound to happen!!”
George sympathized with Kitty as he said, “Awww... this is one of those days, I mean nights, that the pages of history teach us are best spent hiding under a cover. And, by a strange coincidence, we just happen to have some of those in our room. I mean, wouldn’t it be better for us to be gone before J. Barrington Barrington returns?”
The man in the uniform stopped Kitty and George at the door. He said, “It appears you’ve had a little too much to drink. May I get you a cab? George answered, “Ossifer....Do you mean to think to say that I am under the affluence of incohol?” The man answered, “I am the doorman, not a police officer.” Kitty responded, “Oh! We don’t need a cab. We are staying here. I guess we just got a little turned around.” The doorman then offered to have them escorted back to their room. George volunteered, “Thash OK. I remember distincshly, we left a trail of bread crumbs back to our room so we could find the way.”
The doorman wearily sighed, “God bless us everyone.”
2007-12-13 23:18:20 · answer #1 · answered by soupkitty 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
A couple goes to a Christmas party on Christmas Eve. When they get to the party everyone is drinking and carrying on merrily. So the couple joins in, drinking the eggnog.
After an hour, the husband sees what he thinks is an elf in the corner of the room. He looks away to find his wife, and when he looks back the elf is gone. He finds his wife and lets her know what he thought she saw. She says to him, "Now....Did you see that happening BEFORE or AFTER you started drinking the eggnog?" The husband is indigent that he saw an elf, "Don't be absurd."
They carry on at the party. His wife leaves his side to have a conversation in the living room. He goes to the kitchen to have something else to drink, while he is there he sees the elf out of the corner of his eye again. He swiftly turns around and sees nothing. He thinks to himself, "Awww... this is one of those days that the pages of history teach us are best spent hiding under a cover."
Returning to the living room, he finds himself having a conversation with a very loud woman who seems to have been drinking a lot that night. She has a glass of Champagne and leans very close when she speaks. You can smell the alcohol on her breath. She concludes her long winded story with, "Champagne's funny stuff. Whiskey is a slap on the back, and champagne's heavy mist before my eyes. Oh well.....Anything alcoholic will do."
Thankfully, he hears his wife in the other room calling him away from the disturbing conversation. The husband turns around to see his wife standing near the doorway, she says, "Sweeeeeeetie.....I'm under the mistletoe~~~." He grabs her quickly and kisses her. The wife gives him a wink and they leave out the front door.
As they are leaving, they turn to look towards the house. There in the window, is a child dressed as an elf. The wife turns to the husband and says, "Oh, honey, I'm sorry. There is an elf!" The husband retorts, "Oh, don't apologize! " And they retire home.
Merry Christmas!
2007-12-13 07:25:48 · answer #2 · answered by Priestess TiGriS 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A newly wedded couple were at a christmas party and both were slightly drunk.
"Honey, what would you do if that gentleman by the Christmas tree suddenly made a grab at me and kissed me full on the lips?" asks the wife with a glass of champagne held daintily in her hands. Her husband turns to look at the said gentleman who appears to have been admiring his wife, from the corner of his eyes, all evening.
"No bitterness, no recrimination, just a good swift left to the jaw. That's what I would do!"
"I thought you were a lover not a fighter?" asks the wife who finds the stranger that has been admiring her rather good looking.
"Do you know he has been staring at you all evening?" asks the husband with a malicious glance at the stranger.
"Now....Did you see that happening BERFORE or AFTER you started drinking the eggnog?" asks the wife.
"Ossifer....Do you mean to think to say that I am under the affluence of incohol?"
"Don't be absurd! I didn't mean to imply that." says the wife.
A waiter came up to them with a tray loaded with drinks.
"What will be your pleasure, madam?" he asks.
"Champagne's funny stuff. Whiskey is a slap on the back, and champagne's heavy mist before my eyes. Oh well.....Anything alcoholic will do." she replies
"And you, sir?"
"Anything that kicks like a mule will do nicely." he responds.
"A kick from a mule, sir? We only have a horse in the stable. Will a kick from the horse do?" asks the waiter in utter confusion.
"Never mind!" says the man. "Sweetie, I need to visit the restroom of this magnificent house."
Immediately he leaves the stranger predictably walks up to the woman.
"May I ask for a dance, my fair lady?" he says with his hand extended to take hers. He is really good looking and she suddenly realizes that she has been holding her breath.
"My, Yes! I mean No! That was my husband that just left."
"My apologies, then" said the man with a step backwards.
"Oh, don't apologize!" she cries holding his hand. The man is taken aback as he sees the look in her eyes and her drunken state.
"Awww... this is one of those days that the pages of history teach us are best spent hiding under a cover!" he thinks to himself.
"God bless us everyone!" says the waiter as he watches the pair and notices the husband coming back.
2007-12-13 06:06:06 · answer #3 · answered by violeo 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sandy steps gingerly out of her Cavalier, massaging her temple. (1) she wonders. As she makes her way to the front door, she notices bars on all of the windows. (5) The door is open, and she steps inside. Andy staggers up to her and slurs (4) and collapses, his, er, volume seeming to make the house sway. (7) Sandy manages to walk a few more feet when Joe, draped in garland obviously taken from the Christmas tree, whispers to his equally-elaborately dressed date, (9). Turning to gag, Sandy ambles to the hall. (I have no clue how to end this.)
2016-05-23 09:44:38 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like things a waiter hears while handing out drinks at a party. It already is in story form as is.
2007-12-13 05:41:21 · answer #5 · answered by Penny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope....
2007-12-13 05:33:25 · answer #6 · answered by Brad R 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋