Going to court today and going to try to bring this issue up what to know if im making a big stink about this. He also spanks him
2007-12-13 04:28:53 · 40 answers · asked by dirk0069 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No, he shouldn't be showering with him. The spanking is something that you should talk to your ex about, if you're not comfortable with it you need to let her know that.
2007-12-13 04:32:42 · answer #1 · answered by Loli 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi Dirk. It's a difficult one and I certainly sympathize with your situation.
Of course you have concerns about how your child is being raised in an environment you have little control over. There is a difference however between letting your personal feelings control you and having a genuine issue of concern.
There is nothing wrong with expressing your concern about this showering behaviour to the courts with a request that it be discontinued at once. There is no need to draw conclusions from it because the Court will do that itself. You need only ask (through your lawyer) that this matter be reviewed and the child interviewed by the appropriate authorities periodically to ensure this is not continuing against Court instructions.
While you could ask the child yourself, it may be seen as "coaching" the child and undermine any later case you have. It is far better done by a professional.
Please do not be shy about raising your concerns about your children to the Court. The Courts are there primarily to protect the children in custody cases. Be fair and reasonable in how you broach the subject though. Going in with an attitude and seeming vindictive will not help anyone take you seriously. Calm but sincere and firm is best.
Good luck
Peps
2007-12-13 04:41:41 · answer #2 · answered by Peps 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not appropriate in my opinion. 2 seems alittle old anyway to still shower with any parent anyway but I'm not a parent yet so I don't know.
Spanking, I'm not even comfortable slapping my friends childs hand when they pull my hair or something like that even when they tell me to. So I don't know how people can spank another persons child. That should be the choice of both the biological mother and father.
2007-12-13 05:36:29 · answer #3 · answered by Jenny 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well thats not appropriate at all first of all this guy is not blood relation what the hell is he doing taking a shower with ur kid? Id be livid if I found something out like that. Yes bring that up in court that is wrong of your wife to let that happen even more so spanking him?!! Thats not up to him to its up to her and u because u r the biological father. I do hope your trying to get custody!!! Good luck!!!
2007-12-13 04:32:59 · answer #4 · answered by memyslf&I 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that is right at all. The discipline may not be such an issue unless it is spanking to the point of leaving marks but the showering stuff has got to STOP! Do everything you can to keep your child away from that guy, that kind of stuff can be traumatic and the child shouldn't have to spend anymore time with him than necessary...God Bless
2007-12-14 14:20:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is completely unacceptable a new husband should not take a shower with a child at any age to give him or her a bath is one thing as long as mom is right there watching as for the spanking he needs to have his @SS kicked it is not acceptable to hit any child they do need discipline but hitting is not the answer i have 2 daughters and my husband tried that once with my youngest at that age he is their biological father i let him know right away that that was not going to happen in my house and i turned around and hit him and asked him how he liked it he has not hit either one of them since that was 7 years ago my children respect us not fear us fear and respect are 2 very different things you need to definitely bring these things up in court hopefully you have people backing you up and some wittnesses will be even better
2007-12-13 05:08:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO that is wrong unless of course he is wearing a bathing suite and he is just helping him wash his hair and all really kids play alot and forget to wash your never to leave a child unattended. So if he is being responsible by wearing something like a bathing suit he is just being a cautious parent if he is naked bring it up because that is not right. Spanking is actually illegal now and is considered a form of abuse bring this up if you know for sure. Things are parents did when we were young is no longer allowed as forms of discipline.
2007-12-13 05:00:36 · answer #7 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to the men's locker room in a public pool or a gym and communal showers is all there is. Personally, I don't have a problem with it. The kid's got to learn how to take a shower and just throwing him in isn't going to work. I don't think you're going to make any hay with the judge on this one by itself.
Now, as a component of a verifiable pattern of abuse... that's a different story. But there you're talking about abuse, and it'll be a much bigger deal.
Some parents are in favor of corporal punishment, some are very much opposed. Again, this by itself isn't going to sway the judge much unless you can prove the child is being physically mistreated (like, bruises).
Sorry.
2007-12-13 04:36:39 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO WAY! I have a 3 yr old and NO ONE showers with him, not even me! And it will be a cold day in hell when someone spanks my child. You should definitely bring these issues up. If you don't put a stop to it then who will??
2007-12-13 04:39:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO! Although the court will minimize this-you must express concern and also mention the spanking-bio parents often shower with their children but a red flag goes up when its a step-be concerned.
2007-12-13 04:32:38 · answer #10 · answered by Lunaeclipz 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hunny, back in the days this was okay but not really acceptable anymore. Spanks, no a 2 year old doesn't know things and its our job including the step father, because Hunny that is what he is, I know its really hard to hear this. To train our children to know right from wrong and how to behave. If you have first hand knowledge bring it up. You and your ex sound like you need mediation, it can help.
Good Luck
2007-12-13 04:40:14 · answer #11 · answered by eeyore6838 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋