i have been married for 3 mnths to a wonderful man that is very sensitive to my feelings. the problem is i enjoy anal sex occasionally, and he is totally against it. i think its just because he's afraid to hurt me, but i cant get him to understand that I DO ENJOY it. what can i do to make him understand, and make him comfortable with this situation and enjoy it as much as i do?
2007-12-13 02:25:26 · 33 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
it is obvious that the two of you never done this much or at all the question lies with how do you know that you enjoy this sex. Maybe it bothers him knowing that you had been shared. Leave it alone he knows that you like it let him initiate it.
2007-12-13 02:45:50 · answer #1 · answered by SabbathDayFreedom 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Maybe you can set him down when the day is over, before bed and ask him why he's so against it. He might have had a bad experience with it or something.
Ease him into it, tell him you enjoy it and you would let him if he was hurting you. Also, remember that even after all of this, he may not like anal sex, maybe you could talk him into using a toy-vibrator-plug to get what you need while also keeping his comfort level.
2007-12-13 02:31:49 · answer #2 · answered by Yankee Micmac 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should try to find out the reason for sure, that he is against it. There may be more to it than thinking he is going to hurt you. It may not turn him on the way it does you. I don't think this makes him abnormal. Different people like different things.
Buy yourself an anal toy, or put one on your Christmas list. Start small with lots of lube, and ask him to use it on you. You might even consider stimulating him anally, so that he can understand how pleasurable it can be.
But first first first, find out why he's so against it. Whatever the reason, try talking it out and coming to some sort of compromise. It seems fair to ask him to try it with you, at least once.
2007-12-13 02:50:38 · answer #3 · answered by Kitten Toes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would have afew glasses of wine before hand let him relax. i don't think the problem it that he thinks he might hurt you. some guys have the misconception that if he does it and he enjoys it he might be gay. you got to explain out straight you like to do it and that there is nothing wrong with a couple in a loving relationship that respect each other enjoying anal. it spices sex up a bit and that its good to try out new things together. also ask him what he might like to do in the bedroom maybe if he gives you what you want you can return the favour??
2007-12-13 02:31:59 · answer #4 · answered by Pepsi cola 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would have to assume you had sex before getting married and you must have known he just isn't into that. I imagine he just finds it very unappealing so I can't imagine you can force him to do it. If you have told him you enjoy it and it won't hurt you then obviously he just doesn't want to do it. You could ask him to try it just once to see if he would like it...but he may not be able to perform if he really is put off by the thought.
2007-12-13 02:38:09 · answer #5 · answered by Bears Mom 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Make a little wish list and include anal sex. Tell him that the feeling is wonderful for you both and ask for an early holiday gift. Insist that you're craving it. Good Luck!
2007-12-13 02:28:24 · answer #6 · answered by coconut 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
don't see how anyone could enjoy anal sex. But i do understand his feelings in not wanting to. I thought aids came from anal sex..Just use a dildo for the anal sex then.
2007-12-13 02:34:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
sounds a lil bit silly but watch anal sex scenes together. Only becuase then he may see it is enjoyable for people..and make comments slightly about things that are happening n maybe then he may understand xx
2007-12-13 02:30:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm...maybe put it into perspective, for example are there things you do for him that you don't particularly enjoy? Maybe if he understood that the...um...lovemaking...is a give and take in the benefits, then he might understand some of your desires.
Also, you mentioned what you THINK is his reasoning for not doing it...why not ask him, so you'll know?
2007-12-13 02:30:15 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
some people like it, some people dont. Just see if he comes round to the idea, to be honset tho i have never heard of a man turn down anal!!!
2007-12-13 03:13:23 · answer #10 · answered by gemba253 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋