Why don't WOMEN ever hold the door for MEN?

Question

And I don't mean to walk in and hold the door behind you. I mean walk in front of the man.. open the door and let the man walk in. Why not?

A woman did this for me ONCE. But it was a stranger. Why don't women ever do this on a DATE is my question. Whats the logic behind wanting equality, but still wanting chivlry. Feminists have changed the word "chivlry" to mean "Manners" for their own convenience. But anything a man is expected to do for a woman that he would NOT do for a man is chivlry in my book (a woman he is not officially WITH). This rule changes once you are officially partners.

With EQUALITY and all... how do feminists explain this?

PS: Don't forget the original posted question... thats the main question.

ON DATES!!! Why not on Dates?

Answer 1

Slightly offtopic - I went to hospital today for a double booking for my poor eyes. As I walked todwards the double opening doors (manual two-way swing doors, inside) two women were coming through from the other side. As they were nearer they opened the door.

The first woman passed through and held it for her friend. I thought they were holding it for me too and so went through, saying 'thank you' as I did. Instead, they let it swing shut on me.

Now that is just bad manners.

Answer 2

Of course. I'm a really nice person. I don't see why not, would it kill to take the initiative to open the door for yourself and hold it for an extra second so the person behind/in front you can squeeze through as well? @ Me. I know that was a joke, however, being Chinese, I feel a strong urge to correct you. No, traditional Chinese men are actually very gentlemanly, even though the culture favors males, boys are raised to be polite towards females &elders and help them with anything they can't do. Fathers strongly encourage such behavior (they lecture them on being manly) and mothers praise their child for it. I've met many families who are like that.

Answer 3

I do all the time! Especially at work when somebody is carrying something bulky. I also open the door occasionally when my husband and I go out. It all depends on who is faster getting to the door. The other day my female boss opened the door for me. lol. At restaurants when there are several people entering or exiting, I sometimes get stuck being the door monitor.


My general rule is do what is most practical and that which makes the most sense.

When you think about it, it's pretty damn easy to open a door. I don't know why you think it is such a big injustice, do you want a medal or what?

Jackal: I don't know any woman who doesn't have enough upper body strength to open a door. I can do more pull ups than my husband!

Natasa: You're right. I work full-time and I still do 100% of the grocery shopping (and pay for it, too), cooking, and about 99% of the cleaning (sometimes he unloads the dishwasher or does a few dishes). I think men who whine because women don't open the door for them should get their azzes
into the kitchen and do some cooking and clean the damn toilet.

Dates? When my husband and I were "dating" yes, I'm sure I did not expect him to open the door for me and I would say that my general rule still applied. Whomever got to the door first opened it for the other person.

Geezus, if your gonna get yourself all worked up over this, just don't date anyone who expects you to open the door for them. Seems pretty damn simple to me. And any time you use the word "ever" like in your question prepare to get an earful.

Answer 4

"Chivalry" itself is a dead duck. Has been since mediaeval times. It went out with the ark. It was a form of exaggerated courtesy given by the knightly classes to men and women both. (If you thought it was just a woman thing then you've been watching too many Hollywood movies!)

Now if you're talking about courtesy and respect that's something quite different. It's something we need more of but some don't seem to realize that it's a two-way street.

As for that thing about running around the car to open the offside door for someone it's unnecessay, demeaning and pretentious. Just another Hollywood movie thing, genuine people don't act that way. Women are perfectly able to get into a car without being wet-nursed. Sheesh!

Answer 5

I do, especially when he is carrying something.

There have been times when I opened the door, motioned for the man to enter, then he motioned or said, "no, you go ahead," so I did, holding the door behind me for him to enter.
Should I have been offended?
Would my manners offend you?


On a date, I can't answer. I guess people are resistant to change their dating and mating behaviors.

I really don't see a problem with having different behavior in the workplace, in public and on a date. Each occasion calls for something different. But on all occasions I think there should be mutual respect between men and women.

Answer 6

I do this all the time and it only depends on the situation whether I stay back or hold it open behind me.
If you want your date to hold the door for you, just ask her to. Why stop there? Ask her to open the car door for you and help you get seated at the table. It may not look right, but if you want to end a courtesy and start a new trend, you need to do something actively. Seriously, good luck with that.
C. :)!!

Answer 7

I tend to not like comments that generalize because generalizations led to stereotypes but to answer you question; I don't know why the women you have seen or encountered have not held the door for you. Speaking for myself I was told the Judeo-Christian golden rule to always "Treat others as you would want to be treated." I try to employ this rule everyday when and where I can. It makes life alot nicer. I think for any "true" equality between all humans to exist we all need to work together 100%. I know I hold doors open regardless of gender and regardless if I get the same in return.

Answer 8

So sad that some women appear sooo needy, isn't it? I open the doors for my husband and strangers. I try to make a point of it because it shows respect for men. It just cracks me up when women will sit in the car waiting for the man to zip around to her side to open her door! What? Did she forget how? Duh.. And then there's the door that is entryway to any building. She didn't have a problem yesterday when there was a sale on shoes at Macy's, did she? When I open a door for strangers(men) they never cease to be surprised. And they always are gracious. So, it makes me look just a little more special in the eyes of the male gender, doesn't it? ha.

Answer 9

I often wonder the same thing, and I open doors for men all the time. For many women, it's a matter of convenience...they don't really WANT to learn how to fix the car or the dishwasher...women still want to be taken care of and coddled, while wanting equal rights. Screw that! I fix my own car, I open the door for my husband when we go on dates, and I know how to fix the dishwasher. I don't sit around whining that he should be doing it because he's the man.

Edit: By the way, some men will refuse to walk through the door I've opened for them. What's up with THAT???

Answer 10

First, I did and do sometimes to that for a man (or another woman), sometimes others do that for me.
Second, if man is so comfortable with going in front of a woman I think he has a problem, not her. Gentlemen still appeal to us women, I'm sorry.
Third, equality of sexes and ''chivalry'' as you call it have nothing to do with each other, and only lazy man with no touch for women have this issue, to find an excuse that suits them.
I also don't think cooking or cleaning have anything to do with equality, but if a next question is: Should only women do that? Hell no, I (and most of us) work too, I (we) have same amount of spare time as any man.
I suggest man should only do what they don't find to hard to do for a woman that they love (if they need to know a woman well... otherwise it's nothing wrong to be nice and kind towards a woman that you don't know too) But men, don't be amazed when your darling falls in love with somebody that treats her like a lady and maybe opens some doors now and then. ;-)