I don't think so, for one simply reason – we are all human. And humans are not perfect. Do you think that we all end up hurting the people we love the most? I believe having a good marriage does not demand perfection, but it does require us to apologize when we fail.
In marriage, when you say sorry what does it mean to you? When was the last time you said sorry to your spouse and meant it?
When you apologize to your spouse, what do you say? For many the answer is: "I'm sorry." But do you tell them what you are sorry for? An apology has more impact when it's specific. "I'm sorry that I got home late. I know that you worked hard to be ready on time, and I show up 15 minutes late. I feel badly that I’ve made you wait. I hope you will forgive me and we can still have a good evening." Do you think this kind of apology communicates that you are aware that your behavior inconvenienced your spouse and that you feel badly about it?
2007-12-13 01:09:48 · 17 answers · asked by unknown 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Here's one that we should never use toward our spouse (or anyone that we're apologizing to).
"I'm sorry that you got hurt." That shifts the blame to your spouse. It says, "If you weren't so sensitive, everything would be all right." Far better to say, "I'm sorry that my behavior hurt you."
"I'm sorry, but if you had not provoked me, I would not have lost my temper." That is not an apology. It is blaming your spouse for your poor behavior. Sincere regret needs to stand alone. It should not be followed with "But…"
2007-12-13 01:11:48 · update #1
Very well put and appreciated brother. To say that loving someone means never having to say that you are sorry could say that you do not value the feelings and are not considerate of the person that you love,especially during the times that you may have offended this one in your life. This applies to all those that are in our lives, not just our spouse, but the Lord, our children, our familes and friends. Even a stranger if you did something that was offensive.
But to touch on what you are speaking of about love and forgiveness and confession between spouses I think brother that this kind of sharing has to be brought up very often. All too often we live with someone and loose touch with the finer points in the marriage. We not only bypass thorough confession of our shortcomings and offenses.. we also ignore the simple curtisies like' Please and thank you . or no thank you"
May the Lord truly rescue us from this downward trend. That we would not just love these people in a hidden unspoken way but through our actions and how we handle these ones in our lives they will KNOW that they are loved deeply and dearly. That when we apologize or touch sensitive matters we would do it as we ourselves would want to be spoken to. As christians we need the Lord to regulate in the way we address one another.
I was really appreciative of this unveiling from the Lord. That my husband is also my brother in Christ. He is not just this man that I am inlove with and married, but that as a wife I need to treasure the Lord in my husband.. by treasuring my husband. This to me is what it truly means to be a good helpmeet as a wife. We not only take care of our husband's physical and psycological needs but we are sure to be those caring for the spiritual needs of our spouses. Eve lead Adam the wrong way. She lead Him away from God as the Tree of Life. May we learn from this ..not just as wives but as husbands.
Ty brother for again posting a very good quesiton
In CHrist
sandy
2007-12-13 02:46:04 · answer #1 · answered by Broken Alabaster Flask 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I agree. Sometimes I apologize when I believe I am right about whatever point I'm trying to make, but wrong in how I've gone about it. For instance, if I've been too focused on proving myself right and him wrong - that can be hurtful. When I find myself doing that I just take a deep breath and tell him I'm sorry for creating an argument and that it doesn't matter that we disagree, I'm just sorry for escalating the tension and would like to kiss and make up.
And I also agree that saying 'I'm sorry I hurt you' is completely different from saying 'I'm sorry you got hurt.' Accepting responsiblity is a big important part to a sincere apology.
2007-12-13 09:29:40 · answer #2 · answered by Pam 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Love means apologizing often. We are all human and we all make mistakes. Sometimes we hurt others unintentionally. Even though we did not mean to hurt them, they are still hurt, and I believe it is our duty to apologize for our behavior. I also think that we are more inclined to hurt those we love the most. Sometimes it is harder to say "I'm sorry" to someone we really care for than it is to apologize to a stranger on the street. It should not be that way. We should always apologize for our poor behavior or our misunderstandings. This shows our love, in that it hurts us when we hurt others, and we want to make it right.
2007-12-13 12:10:44 · answer #3 · answered by loveChrist 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well I agree love doesn't mean never having to say your sorry and I would further emphasize the idea that love means having to say your sorry, but hopefully not too much.
Saying sorry is one thing, forgiving is another. Its the one on the short end of the stick of the apology thing. Love means forgiving also. Forgiving another person who has hurt you so many times by doing the same thing that their always sorry for is crazy. If you do that you have to ask yourself if your sane or if you are just loving that person for all that they are.
2007-12-13 09:21:53 · answer #4 · answered by lucielu 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are very thoughtful. It would be nice if apologies were as you outline but often they are not. unfortunately, the closer the relationship the more emotional it is and therefore the greater likelihood that real hurt will be meted out. We're all fallible so I won't ever say that I have not spoken an apology without intending something other than remorse.
2007-12-13 09:19:55 · answer #5 · answered by CountTheDays 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are absolutely right, very well stated.... Thank you for shedding some light for those who just may not get it. And yes, the final apology is the better way to go. Everyone needs to stop shifting the blame and start accepting some responsibility.
2007-12-13 09:16:17 · answer #6 · answered by reneej 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Love does not mean never having to say your sorry. However what I think that expression means is this. Love is never having to be unforgiven. If you love someone and they screw up, if you admit your mistake and apoligize you should be forgiven. Now before anyone gets riled up about cheaters, I am talking about love. If you are in love, you aren't a cheater to begin with. So this does not apply to those sorts of situations.
2007-12-13 09:55:19 · answer #7 · answered by chinamigarden 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Love means saying, "I am sorry", even when you are in the right, since the relationship is more important than being right.
Pastor Art
2007-12-13 10:57:48 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you think about your loved one not about your self you would never need to say that you are sorry. Out of discussion!
2007-12-13 09:24:00 · answer #9 · answered by lbelfer 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, Love means that you would say Your sorry.......
I told my husband that I was sorry the other night for offending him with my humor.....I didn't mean to but my joke wasn't funny to him.
I will not say I am sorry unless I mean it.....I hate saying I am sorry....I really battle my pride in this area.
2007-12-13 09:14:05 · answer #10 · answered by Been There Done That 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋