My oldest sister is super excited about me having a baby and her and her boyfriend want to babysit and stuff. They had a baby die last January at 20 days. The coroner said it was sids, but everyone knows it was something else because the baby had blood coming out of her nose. I don't really want my sis to baby-sit now cuz I don't trust her completely. My best friend also, I trust, but her I don't trust her 6 year old. He'll be 7 by then but he's bi-polar and is a littl emonster and I don't want him around the baby. First, is it wrong to feel this way? and, how do you not let them babysit without being rude?
2007-12-13 00:22:12 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
It's absolutely natural to feel this way.
Make sure you only use a registered child minder NOT a family member especially when the baby is small.
It will cost you but it's your peace of mind and your baby's life.
2007-12-13 00:26:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hell no it's not rude. If you don't protect your little one, who will?? You are her only voice. I would feel exactly the same way as you are right now, and I would NOT leave her alone in the care of these people. Even if it really was SIDS, even if this little 6 year old isn't dangerous, why even take that chance?? The consequences are way, way too high.
That said, you will have to deal with fielding questions about babysitting from your sister and BF. For a while...you can blame it on yourself, saying that you just don't want to leave her with anyone....you'd rather her be with you..and most people can understand that with a new mom. Be sure to spend some time with your sister so she can have time with the baby, under your supervision (same goes for your best friend). Perhaps they'll be less pressuring about watching the baby if they feel they've had ample time with her.
If it comes down to it, if they start to feel something's up, and flat out ask you why you wont' let them babysit, you'll have be steady but firm.
Good luck to you.
2007-12-13 06:37:22 · answer #2 · answered by saxcat00 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you are not wrong to feel this way. The only people I allowed to babysit my son for the first 4 years was his father, grandmother and my aunt. Obviously his father, his grandmother because she had raised 3 children and my aunt because, at the time she was also keeping other children for him to play with. I didn't let anyone keep him except for his grandmother before he turned 6 months and then my Aunt after he turned 2 years old. I had him with me so much that when he started Pre-School at 4 years old, I had people accusing me of Child neglect because he was not with me!! You are right to feel the way you do. When you are comfortable you will let your sister or friend babysit. In the meantime enjoy your new Baby. Congratulations!!
2007-12-13 03:07:46 · answer #3 · answered by Maggirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course it's not wrong to feel like that, you're your baby's mother and you have a responsibility to act in a way that you believe will allow you to take the best care of your baby.
If you have to tell your sister you dont want her to babysit just dont be too serious about it, you could laugh and say youre a very nervous mother and wont let anyone stay with your baby for at least the first year! lots of parents are like that, I'm sure she'll understand
2007-12-13 00:32:13 · answer #4 · answered by cactustree 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A lot of parents aren't ready to have their babies looked after by someone else for months or even over a year (or years!) - even if the babysitter is someone without the sort of issues your sister has and your best friend's son.
Tell them you are breastfeeding and that it's difficult to be away from the baby because you are feeding on demand. Tell them you just don't feel right letting your baby out of your sight just yet. It's OK to feel that way.
2007-12-13 00:26:53 · answer #5 · answered by Janey 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
nope... not wrong at all.
even if everyone around you is totally trustworthy... if you don't want anyone babysittinig, then don't let them!!
my first child died... so it took me a really long time to let anyone but my husband be with her if I was out of the building. especially as a baby, I'd ask my mom to come w/ me to my dentist appointment instead of just dropping my daughter off on my way.
as long as you don't tell them in a disrespectful manner (ie: your son's a monster, I would never let you babysit my baby), they just have to deal w/ it. they may take it as rude no matter how you phrase it, but whatever parenting choices you make, they must respect. whether you decide no solids until 8 months, decide no candy until 3 years, or decide that your daughter will never wear purple... does not matter, you're the mom - you call the shots. like it or not what you say goes.
2007-12-13 00:58:43 · answer #6 · answered by Tanya 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're NOT wrong for feeling that way. Truth be told, I wouldn't let them babysit either! Once, I let my best friend babysit my daughter for a few hours, and when I picked her up they told me she had gas so they gave her gas drops. I got pissed because I feel like you should never give another person's baby anything like that without asking first. These days, I try to leave her with my friends who have babies of their own who know what's right and what isn't. If you don't want them to babysit, just act like you never need them to and get someone you trust to do it.
2007-12-13 02:00:45 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It is entirly natural to feel this way. You shouldn't lie or make up a story! Be completely honest and tell them how you feel. Also, don't get crazy and not let anyone babysit. Start by having yourhusband babysit and then see how you feel. I would entirly wouldnt let ppl babysit until my child is at least one. But, youcan let your mother babyst. Just make sure your confy with ho is babysiting ur child. Or else there is no point becuz then your worried and NOT enjoying your free time.
2007-12-13 00:32:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are in charge of your child, trust your instincts and do NOT leave the two of them alone with your child.
Now is the hard part. Do you want a relationship with them? Then you need to be careful. A conversation isn't going to do it, I think.
Either don't let anyone babysit the child or only let the grandparents do it. That might work.
2007-12-13 00:33:12 · answer #9 · answered by stephcarson 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's not rude, it's your right as a parent to choose who can take care of your baby.
Babies are not toys, I don't even understand why people offer to babysit like they want a doll to play. If I need a babysitter I ask someone, I don't let people borrowing my baby.
I actually only trust my mom and my brother, and for short periods of time, no more than a couple of hours.
2007-12-13 00:53:47 · answer #10 · answered by Pitusi 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋