Do women ever realize how well we have it?

Question

in the West? We have equal legal rights, allowing us to make as much money, and run the show in the workplace. In some areas we're even "unofficially" favored more (sexual harrassment/domestic abuse). Try calling the cops on a boyfriend while crying on the phone as a woman or telling your boss some coworker made you feel "uncomfortable!" We have the option of being a career woman or a housewife (don't even tell me the option, according to social/personal values is the same for men) Yet, at the end of the day, most men, by tradition, hold the door open, pay for dates, allow us to take the only seat left, or pick up the car in the rain, for the simple fact that we are women.

Undeniably, social double standards continue to exist when it comes to our bodies, sexuality etc. and we need to change that BUT do you ever appreciate the great position we have today and the positivive side also?

Pinky: Yes to both.

Reflejos: As always, you said what I was thinking.

Spikey: When I travel to the Middle East or read about what a non-Western woman has to go through, I'm fully aware of how well women don't have it there, so your theory is false.

Spikey: Why even go far, when I was younger and lived how MErns live, I was fully aware of the injustice which is why I decided to study politics. And with all due respect to claim "women don't have their own culture" TODAY is to pull the victim's card.

TMD: I'm not white, didn't get any help from my parents and I'm certainly not naive. I lived 3 years in housing projects (16-19), moved to the US with no support from anybody, not knowing any English. I worked for $6/hr cleaning bathrooms. I went to school on student loans, just like everybody else can. Still, after having my BA I was forced to take minimum wage jobs on camps because of my immigration status BUT I never complained because I knew nothing is free and you have to EARN your way up. I was happy to have a roof over my head and a system that gave me opportunities. HARD WORD and discipline were all that was on my mind. I bought my first home at the age of 28 and have enough freedom to provide for those who need my help. I'm certainly not naive to struggles and injustices of society. We have social status/racial/economic issues but gender is one of the last handicaps to be blamed for being behind. It's about personal choices and people taking advantage of opportunities, enough

playing the victim already.

***HARD WORK***

Answer 1

Hi Lioness.
I agree with you, in The West, as women things are on the whole, good for us.
Each decade they improve.
It is my birthday tomorrow and I will be 56 years young.
The 50's were such hard times for women and throughout my life I have seen a total change from parity of pay to social acceptance.

Answer 2

As much as you make several valid points as a stay at home mama I will say we are losing our rights, I am treated as a lesser person for not bringing in money. when my hubby was home sick for a month we applied for short term aid. I as a stay at home mama do not qualify for aid I would have to get a part time job of 20 hours a week they would pay for day care for my babies and for our rent and food only if I worked, costing the government much much more.
So while you may think that we can choose between both worlds you are WRONG society is now demanding the woman in the work place to qualify for loans, to make enough money for a home in most states both husband and wife have to work. The baby boomers were able to have it all because they lived in a society where homes were for single income rates living with double incomes they could have the campers, long vacations better homes ect. Now trying to be a single income home in a double income society is not easy add being treated like a lessor person and you will see that society has truly changed a ton and in my opinion not for the better, women no matter what you want to think are not being treated better at home or at the office. There are more domestic abuses reported today and a ton more domestic abuse related deaths today then 50 years ago.

Answer 3

I am forced to ask, are you a middle class U.S. American citizen? Are you white? The answers to these questions make a big difference. SOME women in the West have it better. Poor women have less access to power and cannot afford lawyers; they are often dependant on men. In areas of high crime, like drug shootings and gang warfare, the police are too busy to respond to domestic issues. It is also incredibly difficult to get a women safely away from an abusive husband even today in 2007. Add poverty onto this and the woman cannot survive or feed her children if she leaves the abuser. Add to this the overburdened social services in this country that are understaffed and underfunded. Now think about how, among poor women, there are more women of color. Now think about the historical legacy of abuse within these communities.

Think about the immigrant enclaves IN THE WEST that continue their abusive practices toward women. Nothing is done about this. I can only conclude that YOU have it well, but you have failed to consider the vast majority of women, who you do not know and clearly do not even SEE. They do not have it well and are living, not only in your "West," but in your very community.

You are incredibly naive.

Answer 4

No society, political ideology or culture is perfect. But I am very glad I live in the West, because there are laws against asking me to put out for a promotion, or my husband beating me.

Whether or not they're administrated correctly is up to the person on the other end, but the laws exist. I'd rather be here than anywhere else.

Answer 5

Everyone has a different reality that they live. For me personally I'm long past living in situations that placed me in second class citizenship---thanks to the women's movement---and I am not treated any different than my male counterparts as far as rights go. Most men are good guys with values similar to mine. And from what I see in my daily life most women are pretty appreciative of their roles whether working inside or outside of the home.

But at the same time I can't deny that domestic and child abuse exist. To me, this is the last serious feminist issue left in the U.S.A. Note I said feminist issue, I know there a lot of serious people issues left that apply equally to both sexes.

But the premise of your question, if I'm reading it right, is correct. Compared to women in 3rd world countries and to what women experienced here years ago, we have it pretty good now.

Answer 6

Excellent question...especially for this section.

Yes I do, which is why I don't understand all the fuss with some of the extreme feminists, not ones such as yourself, who are balanced, in my opinion. It doesn't make sense to continue fighting battles that had been fought years ago and we have clearly seen the positive results of these, all that you had enlisted above, specifically our freedom to CHOOSE anything and everything that we believe is suitable for ourselves.
I prefer to advocate and work towards all HUMAN rights.

Have mentioned this in the past, many of us ladies want to be treated as equals, yet are offended by minimal things, such as when men do not open the door for us, but do we open the door for them? Do we pay for the dates as well? Do we take them into consideration as we would like done for us?
I don't disapprove of "gentlemanly" behaviour, its lovely and kind, but also think that many women like to be the center of attention and be catered to more often than not, and this has been another result (among many) of not realising how well we have it here.
I'm not stating that equality exists fully in our society, but if we are to demand something, I believe that we should live it first.

Answer 7

Wow, I guess I should have gotten you to write my question the other day. This was very well worded and I agree 100%. And it was all accomplished in a relatively short amount of time. We should be working with other women in not so fortunate circumstances around the world not concentrating so much time and energy on our "plight" here.

Answer 8

right - o, completely agree!

as I just said in a different answer... life is too short to focus on the negative!!!

EDIT: Mike T, all it takes is a little respect and a dash of finesse (which lioness is obviously good at) to get your point across. instead you ask redundant accusative questions, that argue semantics and only lead to further finger pointing.
a little perspective, goes a long way!

"R-E-S-P-E-C-T, find out what is means to me"

Answer 9

Some very good points, Lioness.

It is wonderful that you acknowledge - without any snide digs or superiority trickling through - that women (in our cultures) are not as bad off as feminists like to complain.

This is where my issue is... most feminists won't acknowledge they have wonderful position in society and as you point out, an upper hand in many areas compared to men.

I think many women DO realise this, but to ADMIT it would mean not being able to continue the victim position they've become comfortably accustomed to and may, in their mind at least, open up possibiliy that MRA's have a valid point - something they don't want to contend with.

Great stuff, and a star.

Answer 10

Lionesss! This is exactly what I've been saying here for the last 6 months (in harsher words). Yet, feminists always find some way to deny all this. But its TRUE and its not fair either.

Women ARE having their cake and eating it too.. PLUS they are STILL complaining!!! If anyone should be complaining these days its the men.

EDIT: "Kubebe" Respect is EARNED.. not given. Never given... Ever.