we were actually three bestfriends then two of them had a very huge fight, and i'm caught in the middle of it, in the morning, my bestfriend talk to me about her feelings, on how she really hate my other bestfriend, and doesn't want to talk to her anymore, while my other bestfriend talk to me in the afternoon on how she really hate my other bestfriend (the one i talk to in the morning) and wish she was not her bestfriend... now i have to choose....who will be my bestfriend, who will i leave (and hurt, disappoint), how can i choose the right decidion without hurting another person???
2007-12-12 20:56:38 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
As a friend of them both, and already being trapped in the middle, try to see if you can settle their differences and bring them back to being friends.
If that doesn't work, then you need to take things into affect. Longevity, who you met first, influence, who does things that you like more, who annoys you sometimes.
It's a bad situation, but I hope you get thru it.
2007-12-12 21:01:24 · answer #1 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should go over your definition of a friend. Friendship is not explicit like a relationship. You can have multiple friends. If a person can only be friends with you if you are not affiliated with a person to their distaste, then maybe that person is not fit to be a friend. And do not act like a selfless, naive person to say that your decision will ultimately hurt another. It is your "best friends" own doing that led to discontent, nothing is more degrading that venting a problem through a second medium. The best way for you, and your friends to solve this is to let your friends discuss what their problems are with each other, rather than avoid it and forcing you to choose sides - direct communication.
2007-12-12 21:07:08 · answer #2 · answered by ♫ & 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if either of the two consider you as a friend, they shouldn't get mad that you still like the other. You weren't in the middle of the fight, so there is no reason to make bring another person into it and have 3 sad people instead of just two. You should let them both know that you don't want to quit being friends with the other and if they value your friendship, they will respect your decision... :)
2007-12-12 21:01:29 · answer #3 · answered by gbc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, real friends would NEVER make a friend choose! You might have to make sacrifices, like not going out as the three of you or spending time with them at the same time, but you certainly don't have to 'stop' being a friend to one of them. Just find ways that you can hang out with each one individually and explain to them that you are in a sticky situation and don't want to lose any friends because of THEIR drama. They should understand that...and if they don't or if one doesn't, then that gives you the answer you were looking for to begin with!
2007-12-12 21:03:54 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi sweetie you will not give up either they are both your friends and it would not be right nor fair they made this mess for themselves and you did not have anything to do with it.You spend time with them both, and you should tell them that. One thing you should tell them is I will not listen to either one of you talk about the other I will not agree with either of you against the other because you are both my friends and friends don't talk about the other friend stand firm in this don't listen just say no every time one of them tries.And you know what they don't hate each other they are angry they will start to calm down soon and maybe you can get them back together so its the three amigos just like before,and each time one tries to say I hate her, say well she doesn't hate you. Happy Holidays
2007-12-12 21:22:11 · answer #5 · answered by Back Field In Motion 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that if they're both trying to make you choose between best friends, they're both not really good friends.
This happens to loads of my mates but i just keep neutural and don't take sides, because i'm there for everyone and in the end of the day, I don't want to make enemies.
Personally, i'd just listen to what they both tell you; give them a while (like a week or so) to see if they're friends again; if they're not then try bring them back together.
Just try to keep neutural and not take sides!
Good luck, and have a great christmas!
Dan
2007-12-12 21:04:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it happens all the time bestfriends sometimes do really fight but if u got a chance for them both to talk it over and have peace and friends again .
2007-12-12 21:13:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Arrange a small party for just the three of you and talk things out.Tell them,how you like both of them and simply can't choose one and hurt the other.So,its best to sort out all differences and be together once more. They shud understand your dilemma and allow you to remain friends with both of them.If they don't,then stay away from both of them.They don't deserve to be your best friends.
2007-12-12 21:04:50 · answer #8 · answered by Sunflower 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tricky one. You like them both, right? And they've just had a silly fight?
I'm thinking the fight will blow over. My suggestion is not to talk to either of them for a bit, let them both cool down, and then keep your distance slightly. Let them figure it out for themselves. You shouldn't have to choose between them, it's very unfair of both of them to put you in this position.
As I said, say cool, calm and distant and it will blow over.
2007-12-12 21:00:49 · answer #9 · answered by Orla C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The answer is..you don't choose. If both of these girls were your bestfriends they wouldn't be making you choose. You weren't apart of their fight so why should you have to lose one of YOUR bestfriends? My friend tried to do that to me once...and I told her I wouldn't choose and she can't make me and if she cared she wouldn't be telling me that crap.
2007-12-12 21:01:25 · answer #10 · answered by BurlopKing 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋