my sisters-in-law behave like protectors of their brother. I feel like they don't see me as part of them. Since they are close with their brother, they often discuss me and my actions, since i am a third party anyway. And well, brother is always right..
I feel like this is lack of respect for me as a person. I really don't like that attitude. Are all sisters-in-law this way?
I am happy they don't live with us. but whenever they come for some days, i have to put up with all this.
What would you do?
2007-12-12 19:09:59 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
do your best to get along.. my SIL is something else man but i "have" to get along with her cos she is the only babysitter i trust lol
hang in there
2007-12-12 19:14:03 · answer #1 · answered by smilingontime 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm divorcing, and thank GOD for that but back to your question.
I used to have a sister in law and she and I got along fine. I can't say that we ever had any arguments or anything like that until the bitter end of my marriage. I think that regardless if it's a sister in law or brother in law, they will always protect THEIR family. Even if you're married to their brother they won't have any loyalty to you. If I were you I would just treat them the way they treat you. Your husband hopefully doesn't discuss your personal life with them and if he does you need to give him 5 across the eyes for that. It's no wonder they would develop ill feelings toward you. Toward the end of my marriage I found my sis in law always protecting her bro even though he was DEAD WRONG! Blood is thicker than water. Remember that.
2007-12-12 19:40:51 · answer #2 · answered by grneyedgrly 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my sister in law lives 3 days drive away from us.
her brother (my husband) moved to be wtih me 5 years ago.. she has visited once and has never ever called the house or his mobile.
she couldn't come to our wedding as she was having her first baby, that was last august.
She sent us a phone photo of her naked holding her new baby...
we had to ask my mother in law what the baby's name was...
so...
my sister in law is no problem for me at all. I hardly know her.
yours sound annoying as all hell. Thank god they only visit! perhaps you could be busy most of the time when they visit... and stay in a nice motel for the weekend instead. "sorry.. i had already made plans" will do the trick.
and only see them once a year or once every 6 months. That way you'll be strong enough to stand up to them and make it clear "you are a guest in my family's home, you are not allowed to talk to me with that attitude. We can get along if you respect me and my husband.. but if you're going to act like that you will have to find somewhere else to stay".
2007-12-12 19:24:48 · answer #3 · answered by chilly 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
me and my sister in law get along great..we have girls night out together..and just hang out as if we were friends for ages..when really we just meet because of her brother..my hubby =]
sorry you have that problem..i have heard though it is very common for sister in laws to get over protective over the brothers..just be thankful you dont live with them..because it would be much worse if you did.
2007-12-12 20:07:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
have you tried talking to your husband about it? how about talking to them about it? thankfully my sister in law is 6 years younger than me and 10 years younger than my husband so they aren't very close and we don't really do a lot together. i'm sure it is difficult for you tho. maybe you just need to spend some time alone with them and try to relay to them that you want to feel included and not like such an outsider.
good luck.
2007-12-12 19:15:48 · answer #5 · answered by somebody's a mom!! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
most are like this....but dun get mad at her in front of ur husband cuz then she ll use it against u....u need to find a balance....indirectly u can persuade ur hubby to see things ur way but not by being mean and distant to her...in fact act like ur sisters (doesnt mean to have to like her!) but at the same time u can make ur hubby see things ur way too through ur love and later by telling him indirectly what is right etc, cuz u got the advantage. the trick is not to give them a reason for ur hubby to resent u.....cuz tats wat they want...but if u do it this way, ur hubby will see ur way for sure.....
2007-12-12 19:20:13 · answer #6 · answered by Sony 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell your husband to tell them to back off,but he should be doing that anyway.
2007-12-12 19:16:27 · answer #7 · answered by lollypop 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nicely
2007-12-12 19:24:57 · answer #8 · answered by Yvonne 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They can see through you where hubby can't.
2007-12-12 19:21:48 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋