I had a very loving, happy, fulfilling relationship with my boyfriend (or so I thought). He broke up with me randomly for reasons that are hard for me to understand, although I think his point was that we are just at two different places in our lives. He is the first guy I ever talked about marriage and having kids with. It's hard for me to let this relationship go because of the future we once talked about. Are separation is hard to accept because how can two people talk about marriage and kids and then one day be completely over? I still have hopes of us getting back together because I truly believed he was "the one" and he had said the same about me.
I have asked him what he thinks and sometimes he says he sees himself marrying me one day...Other times, he says I should just move on because he doesn't want to hold me back from living my life...
Is it completely irrational for me to be having thoughts of us reuniting again one day?
2007-12-12 18:32:15 · 6 answers · asked by Jane 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No its not irrational. Love is a very powerful emotion. But if he is giving you mixed messages, then there is something going on with him. You might not ever know whats going on and you are going to have to accept the sudden change. When a long term relationship stops, its like dealing with a death. Give yourself time to grieve and heal. Sometimes we think that this is the one when in fact there is another plan meant for us. Take your time and see whats happening and weigh out you options. If he continues this back and forth then honey you need think whats best for you. This type of relationship is not healthy for you, and could cause trust issues with you. You got a taste of love and love will happen for you again if not with him with someone who is looking for you. Try not to dwell on this try to learn from it. Love hurts but time heals. Good luck and God Bless
2007-12-12 18:46:38 · answer #1 · answered by Just a friend! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is completely irrational yet perfectly understandable for you to be hanging on to the idea of a future with this guy. You had something intense and satisfying and it looked like it was headed in a certain direction. But it takes two people to go in that direction for it to work. He got off the road, so to speak.
You say that sometimes he says he sees himself marrying you someday. I doubt it. He's waiting for a lot of other things and you are somewhere down the list. If he wanted to marry you, he would. He'd value you so much, he wouldn't want to lose you. Of course, if you hang on, begging for another chance to make this work, he never will miss you and he will always count on you as his 'last resort' because you are always available to him.
Don't you think you have more value as a person than to be kept dangling that way?
When he says you should move on, he's having one of those moments of honesty and he's listening to his conscience. His conscience tells him, 'You dog! How can you string her along like this?'
You should be aware of that too. It's tremendously painful to give up a dream. It's hard to find a new relationship but once you have a new, satisfying relationship, you will see this for what it is. So get busy seeking a new relationship. This guy will always know where to find you. Just don't be sitting around waiting for him. It won't get less painful and you could wait forever for nothing.
2007-12-13 02:43:08 · answer #2 · answered by kathyw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand its hard but its human nature to want something you cant have. He is just telling you he can see himself marrying you because he wants to keep you tagging along and he tells you that you should move on because you are getting on his nerves and he wants to hurt your feelings. You will want him until he wants you. But honestly you should move on. He will want you back one day and you will be over him and then you can have your little party. But honey its normal. IT ALMOST ALWAYS HAPPENS LIKE THAT.
2007-12-13 02:39:40 · answer #3 · answered by Keelie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He isn't ready to get married. Obviously you are. He doesn't have the nerve to tell you he doesn't want to marry you. He's right. You should move one and find someone who wants the same things you want.
2007-12-13 02:42:20 · answer #4 · answered by missingora 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you ever used Pull Your Ex Back system? Go here : http://ExRecoveryFormula.com . This might definitely help you!
2014-08-18 17:23:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i hope you can i messed up big time i wil pray for you i lost my man over stupity.
2007-12-13 02:36:40 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋