Why do moms press other moms to breastfeed even when it's causing severe pain or discomfort?

Question

I've seen that a lot her and in real life, I think it's ridiculous! Yes, breast is best, but not when a woman is almost crying in agony, or the baby is getting no milk! My aunt was pushed so hard to breastfeed her son nearly died 'cos of feeding problems! Why do moms do this and not accept that not every mom is able to bf?

And for those of you who think it's ok to criticise my Aunt, you don't know what you're talking about. It's breast 'nazis' like yourselves who were responsible for my cousin getting so underweight. My Aunt went to one 'lactation consultant' after another and they all told her to keep trying, it would get better. Ha! 2 years later my cousin is the healthiest child I've ever me, after happily being formula fed and thriving!

Answer 1

Funny to see a guy answer this huh? Well, I happen to study child psychology.

Breast feeding has always been linked to some 3rd party research with "bonding" and defining the child's personality. But for every 5 of those reports there are 3 contradicting those findings.

Basically, what it comes down to in tradition. Most people that are grandmother's these days grew up in the era of breast feeding being encouraged and commonplace. The only way this can change is via education. When you tell them you aren't going that route make sure you have information on why you feel the way you do. Even if it's just "I really don't want to do that.

After reviewing too much data I would render my personal thought that with all the natural foods, drinks, etc that there is no benefit in breast feeding, nor would i say that feeling enhances the bond. Holding your child while you feed them is just as exciting to a newborn or small child as long as they have your attention, and you are in contact (holding them, etc)

Good Luck

Answer 2

because the first few weeks is hell for everyone, but if you can push past that, its usually fine. I think what people need to do is offer more support and understand that you can breastfeed without putting yourself through agony. Some people are soooo anti bottle, and I think that hurts a lot of moms who want to breastfeed, but are having a rough start. I was told by one LLL member that it was okay if a little blood got in with the milk, it wouldn't hurt the baby...and I just though, "yeah but you are missing my point, my nipples are a bloody mess and scabbing over, this hurts like hell, and I am at the end of my rope!" Thank GOD I got in touch with a lactation nurse who understood the pain I was going through was not a small matter and advised me to pump and bottle feed until I healed, and then to try again. My child was 4 days old or so, and never once got nipple confusion. I think if more breastfeeding moms knew this was an option, a lot more might stick with it past the first few weeks. Once I was healed and my baby latched on the RIGHT way, it was smooth sailing. I dont think badly at all of moms who formula feed, I just feel bad for the moms who wanted very much to breastfeed their babies but did not have enough support, or the right kind of support to enable them to do so.

Answer 3

I wish I could tell you. I worked with 3 different lactation consulatants, my son refused to latch, I tried for 3 weeks, then i dried up. They gave him formula right after birth due to complications with me and my son. So I think that may be why he wouldnt. But after 3 lactation consultants, still no luck. What was I supposed to do?? Starve him?? And breastfeeding Mothers have told me I was a bad Mother, because I didnt breastfeed. Its none of their business.Just because you breastfeed doesnt make you a better Mother than those who dont. People care too much about what other Mom's do, instead of putting that wasted time end energy into their own child. Yea, the breast is best, but not all women are lucky enough to do it, like my situation. I did and still got crap from people. You just have to ignore such Close-Minded people. Me and my son both had complications, I AM LUCKY HE'S EVEN HERE RIGHT NOW< DUE TO COMPLICATIONS. But people dont want to see or understand that. And want to judge instead of understanding,

Answer 4

it sounds like there was a latching on problem. breastfeeding should be painless and very comfortable for mother and baby. improper latching techniques can cause alot of pain and if the nipple is not stimulated properly, there can be a good chance that the baby won't get as much milk. I think that women pressure other women to breastfeed because it is the best thing for your baby. Through out the years, formula has just become the natural thing to do for alot of women. The benifits are so great for breastfeeding, and I guess it's just that it seems lazy to breastfeeding mom's to give a baby formula. isn't your child worth a little frustration and pain? Its not always easy to breastfeed, but in the end it is well worth the effort. I personally breastfeed all 3 of my kids. My first 2 were premature and couldn't nurse but i pumped and put it in a bottle for them. After a while, i didn't have enough milk to satisfy them and so i had to go to formula...it was heartbreaking. I hated it. I felt like a bad mother. But, both of them are healthy and strong now and you'd never know they got formula. Your aunt should have seen a lactation consultant. Every mom is able to breastfeed, as long as there are no health problems that prevent it, and the proper technique is used.

Answer 5

I know I'm going to get thumbs down for this but, here's the truth.

Unless you have a physical impairment preventing you from breastfeeding, there is really no excuse to not do it. Yes I believe it to be a choice. I spent the first two weeks of my daughter's life crying and fighting with her, but after two weeks of being persistent it paid off, and now we're happily breastfeeding pain free.

If you're a first time breastfeeder, ignore all the statements that it isn't supposed to hurt; your nipples have never been under so much pressure before, and there are bound to be some sensitivity factors.

As for not being able to breastfeed, it's an over-used analogy because most moms get frustrated and give into the formula because it's easier, and it gets the baby to stop crying sooner. I've seen a lot of reasons/excuses as to why moms couldn't breastfeed including, the baby didn't latch, I didn't get milk in, and my breasts are too big.

If the baby does not latch, there's no reason you can't pump. Nobody gets milk until the third or fourth day after their baby is born, but if you don't nurse every 2 hours for the first week you may have issues with drying up . No breast is too big to breastfeed, it's just simply a matter of adjusting.

Parenthood wasn't designed to be easy. Everything is going to take some adjusting. There are lactation consultants, and La Leche League Leaders who will do in-home and over-the-phone consulting for free, so there's no harm in at least trying for a few weeks. Even supplementing if you need to for your baby's weight gain is acceptable.

I supplemented with formula for 2 weeks then went strictly to breastfeeding. It has been 4 weeks now, and we are both very happy.

If your aunt's son nearly died from breastfeeding, then there was another issue, such as her diet, low fluid intake, baby not latching properly to stimulate milk supply, etc. Also, if the baby got that close to death, then I think there are other issues to be addressed, such as common sense of your aunt not communicating with the pediatrician about her son's weight loss and eating habits. There is a rule that newborns should have between 6 and 8 *good* wet diapers a day.

There are TONS of free resources on the internet to help with breastfeeding. I turned to many of them. I was too young and naive to breastfeed my first daughter, but I had my second one about a month ago and regret not pushing harder with my first when it came to breastfeeding.

I think breastfeeding moms just want others to feel in the joy and pride of being the sole nutrient providers for their babies, and encourage other women to breastfeed so that they too can share the bond with their little ones.

*Edit: I do not have a problem with women who decide not to breastfeed. I agree that it's a choice and don't think it's right for ANYone to judge another person for making a personal choice like this. I happen to think it's what's best for me and my babies; it may not be the best choice for another woman. On the other hand, where I do have a problem is with women who make excuses or lie about why they aren't breastfeeding. I agree that a happy mommy is a happy baby, but don't cop out and blame other sources for your decision. I realize that this is a generalization, and there's always exceptions to the rule.*

Answer 6

I never breast fed, but all the other women of childbearing age in my family, did. I chose not to let others tell me how to feed my baby. Of course, my baby is 3 years old now. If you are having pain and discomfort, consult your doctor. Formulas these days are just as good, but not always better, than breast milk. Some people like to be stern in their beliefs, not taking into consideration that others may not agree.

Answer 7

People who have breast fed a baby know that it is painful at the beginning, but it gets better and they will be so happy that they stuck with it!

Answer 8

Being a mother and wanting to provide my child with the best possible start in life nutritionally I opted to breastfeed. I expereinced a number of problems because I wasn't as educated about it, initially, as I should have been and didn't seek support right away. But I was commited and saw it through.

I equate breastfeeding to a gourmet meal that's organic and "the best" and formula to fast-food. You can live on fast-food and you might do well for a loooong time.... but eventually it catches up to you.

Answer 9

Assuming you must be from usa,
in uk breast feeding is ofcourse promoted as it is best for baby,
but mum`s decision is always respected and theres no great fuss to make you feel guilty if you decide not to.
My midwife used to say if mum`s not happy babys not happy so if breastfeeding is making someone miserable through pain-really whats the point!

Answer 10

Many mothers don't try as hard as they could have and then go around saying they "could not" breastfeed their child. Which is really a cop-out. Many women try hard to do what the AAP recommends because it's what's best for their child and the society as a whole. (Breastfed babies are sick less often and mothers who breastfed are less likely to have numerous types of deadly cancers - which means we have a healthier society.)