This is a serious question, please answer it.?

Question

I don't need opinions on whether you can claim abstinence even if you've already had sex. I already have my view on that. What I need to know is about the relationships between people.
It is known and proven that couples who wait until they're married have a more successful relationship, and those that don't wait until they're married have a higher divorce rate. Now here's my question:
If someone's in highschool and they have sex with their partner (long term, not just some silly 1 month relationship) for about 9 months, and then decide to claim abstinence until they're married, do they still have the high divorce rate? Or will the long period of abstinence until they're married help, even if they had sex before?

Sorry if this question is confusing, if you need any clearing up, ask and I'll add details.


Oh and....
I know some may think it's too early to think about it, only being in high school. I'm not saying I

know what my life is going to be like. I just want to make sure if it does happen, that it will be the best it possibly can be. I don't want to ruin my chances before it even happens.

We did not have sex too early into our relationship. We have been together for 14 months, and know each other very well. In no way are we using each other, or basing our relationship on sex.

Answer 1

I do not believe that waiting to have sex or not has anything to do with the divorce rates. It has to do with the people involved. People think that they can change into anything that they want after marriage and it ends badly. Others think that they do not have to be faithful. Some start abusing their spouses and others spend money like there is no tomorrow. I think when marriages break up over sex it is because one partner will no longer give it to the other. Some use it as a weapon to get what they want. Others yet let their families cause problems when they should not. I could go on but you get the idea. Waiting for marriage is a great thing and you should be proud of it if you do but it will not guarantee that you will not divorce. If you have sex and decide not to again until marriage that is alright too. I personally would not marry someone that I did not have sex with. You need to be compatible in that area also and so many people are not. This leads to affairs and divorce. Communication and mutual respect with get you further in a marriage than abstinence will.

Answer 2

Unfortunately sex is a very important thing in a relationship, whether you are married or not, whether you are having sex or not.....Think about it this way, even if you are not having sex with your gf/bf, then you are at the very least thinking about it, which makes it an important subject or act in the relationship.....So, you have made the decision to basically ignore this important part until marriage and not only that, ignore it after you have already had sex with this person.....I would imagine that is a very hard thing to do, unless you are planning to marry about 2 to 4 weeks after you stop having sex......In my opinion, even if someone had the hard facts or statistics about divorce rates with those that have sex before marriage and those that don't...I believe it wouldn't help you in any way....because everyone is different and everyone handles stress differently.....sex doesn't has to be a big deal and is definitely not the most important thing, but it can make or break a marriage.....If you decide to go this route of not having sex, then you better be sure that both of you are on the same page and not just saying what you think the other person wants to hear.....

Answer 3

Let me start by saying I applaud the two of you for making such a difficult decision. It's very hard to go back to the way it was before sex. That alone I am sure can be very stressful on your relationship. That said, let me say this, I don't know the answer to your question. I think taking sex out of the equation helps remove one level of stress in your life, and that's a very positive and mature step towards a successful future. In my opinion, time before marriage should be spent getting to know each other, and getting to know yourselves. I think that's the key to a successful marriage. Knowing what makes you happy, and knowing with confidence that you are with who you are meant to be with. Most people nowadays (myself included) don't figure out what a mistake they made until after marriage (hence the high divorce rate). Hope this helps at least a little!

Answer 4

That's a really good question. I don't think anyone's done studies on that. I do know of people who decided to stop having sex and wait until they got married, though, but I couldn't tell you if they get divorced at the same rate. I think it would be less, though because it stems from a commitment the person makes to themselves and the future spouse. That takes emotional and mental strength, which I believe are important in marriage. I don't think one's virginity status is the only variable that can predispose to either higher or lower rates of divorce.

Answer 5

If at any time you decide to abstain from sex, for moral purposes, or to lend a deeper meaning to sex, then those are the good reasons. If you are simply trying to beat a statistic, or improve your personal statistics, I'm not sure that's the greatest reason.

Having been married 11 years I think couples staying together vs. couples divorcing has much more to do with other factors....
Reasons couples stay together: they have integrity and good character, they continually 'give' to the marriage and make it a priority, they communicate well, they grow together, they develop and maintain interests other than 'the marriage' or 'the children'.
Reasons couples don't stay together: one or both lack integrity and have poor character, one or both has unrealistic expectations, one or both expects the other to change instead of accepting their spouse as the person they are, selfishness, growing apart, poor communication.

Answer 6

You can't generalized relationships it just not based on one aspect of the relationship because they are dynamic as the years pass. Now I didn't have a sexual relationship with my wife before my marriage and my other siblings had pre-martial sex and I am the one that divorce so much for your statements. I guess the best way is to date for a long time before jumping into marriage.

Answer 7

I consider he used to be crying false tears the complete time. He's absolutely no longer severe approximately the connection and he is losing your FEELINGS on him. Don't supply your center away to an insecure, bloodless-hearted man or woman like that. He appears like he is simply toying with you. He appears like he simply needs to know the way some distance he can move into breaking you down till you eventually say you may have had adequate. I do not suppose he is the correct one for you, sweetie. There are lots of worthier guys available in the market so that you can opt for, however severely no longer this one you are speakme approximately. Over time, you can disregard approximately him. Don't fear. You could love him however it does not imply that you just can not placed that love onto any one else extra useful. Best of good fortune.

Answer 8

I don't know. I only had a few sex partners (though one was an LTR who I did it with a lot) before meeting my wife at a young age.

But now in my mid-30s, I am a horndog, looking for variety, and I think it's because I didn't have enough variety when younger. I didn't "get it out of my system."

Answer 9

Wow, you've got life all figured out, and at such a young age. You must be proud of yourself.

Hmm, now what was that quote about pride? Pride goeth before....what? Well, never mind. I'm sure it's not important.

Answer 10

It depends on the couple.

It depends on how committed they are to the relationship.

It depends on a lot of things.....and it's different for each couple.

Remember the divorce rate is a statistic.....it doesn't have to be true for you.