i'm 30 wks pregnant, and found out that my husband is lying to me, and very possibly cheating. he's been acting strange & i found out he's been contacting his ex.
i'm crushed. so hurt. haven't even gotten to the anger yet. well, a little.
we took bradley classes together, where he trained to be my labor coach. now i don't have a labor coach, or a husband. or a father for my baby. i've even just found out today that if i put him on the birth certificate, they might take my baby because his parental rights to his first child were involuntarily terminated.
i'm scared about the birth, and affording to take time off.
i've got most of the money saved (i make most of the money for the household) but i was going to count on his income to help get us by for the 12 weeks off after the baby's born.
i don't know what to do... i'm going to ask him to leave tonight. but i'm SO scared! i don't have any friends or family nearby. i'm going to be all alone!!
what am i going to do?????
2007-12-12 11:49:28 · 11 answers · asked by Ember Halo 6 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
i cant trust him to tell me the truth as to whether or not he has been cheating.
we've been having problems for MONTHS. and i can't deal with any more.
2007-12-12 11:57:03 · update #1
he's already used his second chance.
2007-12-12 11:59:36 · update #2
I'm so sorry to hear this.
I don't know what to say other than if you cannot trust him then I believe you're making the right decision. Being alone is far better than being together with someone you cannot trust and who does not put your well being above everyone and everything else.
If you really cannot find any family or friends and you're worried about labor and delivery alone (if you choose to keep him away from the hospital), I would strongly suggest looking into hiring a doula. They are sort of expensive (several hundred up to a grand) but they are VERY well worth the money for the knowledge and support they offer during labor. Even if you plan on having pain relief like an epidural, their companionship is still valuable.
The other thing I would suggest is that I hope you're very sure of your hubby's lying and unfaithfulness before you make any harsh decisions and kick him out. And if it's true and you do kick him out, I hope you'll still try to remain civil and allow him to be the best parent he can be if possible.
And they will never take your child away automatically just because he is listed on the birth certificate. There is no guarantee that anyone would ever investigate this unless it was reported to CPS, and even then, it would take some substantial evidence that BOTH of you were either neglectful or mistreating the child. If he is out of your life and you will have primary physical custody then you have absolutely NOTHING to worry about. Put him on the birth certificate.
I wish you the best of luck.
2007-12-12 11:58:06 · answer #1 · answered by Take A Test! 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm in a similar situation, except I'm not married. I'm 21 weeks pregnant, and the father and I have been together and lived together for awhile. We went home for Thanksgiving, and he started acting *very* strange; I don't think he was cheating, but he was being a complete asshole for no apparent reason. I left him there. He has come home (where we both lived) twice, but has always gone back to our hometown where he is currently living with his brother. I don't know what happened with him, because his strange behavior was DEFINITELY not expected, and nothing like this has ever happened before.
I know what you mean about being scared; I'm terrified of going into labor or something happening and not being able to get myself to the hospital. I'm even more terrified of going through labor by myself. My family is two hours away, and I'm in a new town, so no close friends are here.
The only thing I can say is stay strong. It's hard and scary, but if you can handle pregnancy, you can handle anything! Don't be afraid to ask for help, too. If you find yourself getting low on cash, it can't hurt to ask your family for a quick loan until you get back to work. Good luck, and if you ever want to talk, email me!
2007-12-12 11:59:31 · answer #2 · answered by jennifer 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
..This has got to be very hard on you. I'm sorry. But TRY not to let it overwhelm you. You need to worry about you, and the baby's health. He's not worth the time or stress. No man should treat his wife like that, especially when she's carrying his child! Sounds like a big loser to me! Since your making enough money, I'm sure you can do it without him. Also go down to your human services, and apply for any assistance, if needed. If your going to be a single mom, you'll definitely qualify for help! If there's a lot of problems right now, don't bring the baby into the problems, get rid of him for good!!!! Good Luck, and Best Wishes with the little one!!!! (:
2007-12-12 12:06:56 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find a pal or household member who can come stick with you in the meanwhile. Surely any person on your household is retired or jobless or perhaps a near pal who does not have a role that may come down and aid you. If worse involves worse you must return to in which you household and peers are staying earlier than you will have the youngster in order that you're surrounded by means of folks who truthfully do love and care approximately you. I understand that you are going to be scared, it is disgrace what has occurred however you'll want any person that loves you to stay by means of you on this time so both uncover any person who can come aid you or return dwelling and uncover a position in which you'll provide beginning for your baby.
2016-09-05 10:25:01 · answer #4 · answered by duenas 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry you are going through this, I guess it took your pregnancy to let his true colors show through, I once read that men who cheat do it usually when their wife is pregnant, isn't that sick?
But about you and the baby, which is what is important now. Forget about what is happening with him and concentrate on you and taking care of yourself for now.
Call the local police and let them know you are pregnant and have to have your husband removed from the home, see if they will just wait outside to ensure you're ok.
Next, phone your friends and family and see who can be with you right now. If no one can, I suggest you go there if you are able to travel well.
I really want you to not get too stressed out, I know that's hard now, but just don't think ahead too much right now. Take one day at a time.
Get in touch with a counselor to talk to, talk therapy will help you sort through your feelings. Maybe you will want to have marriage counseling, I don't know, that will remain to be seen at this point.
God is watching over you, ask for Him to protect and keep you safe. I will also pray for you. Take care.
2007-12-12 12:03:01 · answer #5 · answered by MadforMAC 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I got pregnant with our second child just days before my husband left for Iraq. I acutally found out about 3 weeks after he got there. I had to spend my whole pregnancy without him. I would get sad when I went to the doctor and saw a man there with his wife or girlfriend. Thankfully by the grace of God my husband got to come home to see our daughter born, but had to go back to Iraq 3 days later. All I can say is just be strong for you and your baby. I wasn't going to let anyone else in the room with me if my hubby couldn't be there. But you might consider a friend or family member. Good luck! God bless!
2007-12-12 12:02:59 · answer #6 · answered by honeybear 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Bull!! Whoever told you that is full of sh**. They will NOT take your baby from YOU unless you are abusive, or using drugs. Start attending church and let the ladies there help you out. They love doing things like that. They might even give you a baby shower to get you the things that you need. You DO need to put him on the birth certificate and sue him for child support. If he has a job you can have the courts garnish it directly out of his wages.
2007-12-12 11:56:51 · answer #7 · answered by Ryan's mom 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Your in the same boat I am.. I found out the same thing about my partner, but I'm giving her a second chance... everyone deserves one.
2007-12-12 11:57:47 · answer #8 · answered by Baby boy on board [[April 16th]] 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i know you probably think it won't help.. but i will still be praying for you.. & whenever you feel lonely just ask God to keep you company..Trust me, it works..
There's NO ONE better than Him to look after you & your unborn baby..
I hope the best for you & your little girl
God Bless
2007-12-12 12:21:42 · answer #9 · answered by ˚despeяate housewife˚ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Delay asking him to leave and bring him around by sweet talk. Also praying to Jesus might look rediculus for some people but it actually works, please be patient.
2007-12-12 12:05:44 · answer #10 · answered by supernova 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋