I want to as a revenge for dumping me. She doesn't know.
2007-12-12 11:05:57 · 45 answers · asked by ? 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Oh heeeeellllll NO!!!! what so you sleep with a married man and then he breaks up wiht you so you want to ruin his wifes life... that is so selfish... you shouldn't have been with a married man in the first place... He should be the one to tell her and how much more is he going to hate you if you tell his wife.. Move on and find a man who isn't married.. How would you feel if you were his wife??? Don't do it
2007-12-12 11:09:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 7⤊ 0⤋
I know you're hurt by this and I know it would feel great to tell his wife. I mean, what better revenge than to out the affair, right? The fact is, it's not worth it. I've met with many couples that had to deal with affairs. When it's the husband that cheats, I usually try to find out how how the wife was informed of the affair. The answers were varied but of the women that say they were notified by the husband's mistress, 100%, let me say that again 100% stated that they completely dismissed the accusation and told the other woman that she was full of crap and that there was no way her husband would ever do something like that. Now most of them usually say "I suspected him of having an affair" or "I know something was going on." So then I ask "well why deny the affair, or defend your husband when the person who has iron-clad proof that your husband was cheating on you is telling you exactly what happened?" And ALL of them say in some way, shape, or form "Because I didn't want to give her the satisfaction. She DID, afterall, sleep with my husband. I'm not going to give her any more pleasure than she's already had."
So the long and the short of is if you told his wife, she'd probably be very haughty and rude to you, and eventually call you a few choice names. The point is, you'll never really know if you caused any disruption...and even if you did, you won't be around to see it. Where's the fun in that? Even if you saw him on the street later on and asked him "How are you and your wife doing?" He'd almost assuredly respond "Oh things are great." Why would he do this? For the same reason the wife would...they don't want you to know that you had any effect on the marriage which again, makes ratting him out to the wife, pointless.
Everyone knows of the phrase "what goes around comes around." And trust me, sweetheart, I know you're hurt, and I know you want to see this bastard squirm for what he did to you, but it's not worth it for either of you. His wife will find out sooner or later, or worse, she'll find out and have an affair on him (which will absolutely devastate him...men cheating on their wives doesn't hurt women any where NEAR as much as when wives cheat on their husbands...trust me)
Good luck, girlie, and try to stay away from the married men.
2007-12-12 11:22:23 · answer #2 · answered by Eddie 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I guess I'm going to go against the flow, and say if you're doing it just for revenge - then don't. But if you really believe that the wife has a right to know, and can do it without attacking her, her life, then yes. I was cheated on by my husband, and the woman he did it with was the only one to tell me the truth. Yes, others knew. He had lied to her and told her we were living separate lives for 2 years, even though I never knew that! We still shared a house, the kids, the bed, and had sex regularly (3-4 time a week). He told her that he only married me because I was pregnant, even though he had proposed months before.
The really sad thing is, the mistress and I were so much alike, we could have been good friends if this hadn't have happened and we just met elsewhere. So I don't blame her. No one can make a faithful partner cheat - they have to give themselves permission to do it.
Now, please take care, and try not to do this again, its really not worth the pain.
2007-12-12 11:20:38 · answer #3 · answered by Barb Outhere 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. I know you really realy want to tell her, but that wouldn't accomplish anything. Move past this situation and let it be. Think about it this way, a man who has been sleeping around behind his wife's back isn't worth the anger you feel that motivates your feelings of revenge. Whatever happens between him and his wife is now THEIR problem. You don't need to be part of any of that. Plus, if you involve yourself even more in the situation, that just invites more drama into your life. Any personal opinions I might have aside, the best thing you can do is just walk away from it.
2007-12-12 11:17:30 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are better off to leave it alone. You were wrong to begin with, just like he was. And this woman has done nothing to you, you were the one sleeping with HER husband. And what did you think would happen sleeping with a married man? You were nothing more then easy sex to him, with no commitment. You were never together to actually be "dumped", that requires a real relationship. Get over it, and find someone who isn't married.
2007-12-12 11:15:52 · answer #5 · answered by cris 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why do that???? Its over, let it go and move on. Make some better choices next time ( No married Men ). I mean what did u expect???? 9 times out of 10 a married man never leaves his wife. Ur what we refer to as the side dish.
2007-12-12 11:13:19 · answer #6 · answered by pokvet 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Stop what you are doing right now and really think about the situation. What is really going to come out of this. What if you were the wife, would you want to know. I know i would because i would leave him however you don't know that person and you might have a guilty conscience later on after you have spilled the beans. Good luck
2007-12-12 11:18:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
No! do not tell his wife. This really has nothing to do with you...when a married man cheats, he'll do it with ANYone who is willing. The mistress is never special, just easy. Let him live with his own mistake and it will catch up with him in time. Hopefully you've learned too that you deserve someone who can love you back from now on :-)
2007-12-12 11:11:33 · answer #8 · answered by Dana C 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
he obviously loves his wife grew a concience and moved on
Do the same
You already almost wrecked a home why make a bad thing already worse besides you knew what you were getting into and that it was wrong when you did it
What did you expect Grow Up and stop acting like a little kid
Leave him alone
You both got what you deserved don't expect anyone to feel sympathy for you or him
2007-12-12 11:14:00 · answer #9 · answered by rebel_angel031 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you want to hurt her when it was you that did wrong?
You learned the lesson:
Don't flirt with married men!
Don't cheat with married men!
Married men are trouble!
And why do you want a man who would cheat on his wife?
I think you should forget it and move on to something more positive in your life:
Make some good plans for your future
Take up a great hobby (like quilting)
Take a night class in something you enjoy like painting
Go to church
Write a book
Joy to you!
2007-12-12 11:13:34 · answer #10 · answered by frillyfroofroo 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋