My BI female friend has a gay friend (a guy) who asked her if he can get her pregnant & carry the baby for him, so he & his boyfriend can take care of it. He doesn't believe in adoption, & he's gay, but he REALLY wants to have kids of his own, so that's the only reason why he wants to sleep with her.
My friend was like, "What?" She told me, & I was shocked. She didn't know how to respond to him.
2007-12-12 10:27:56 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Should she go along with it or reject his request?
2007-12-12 10:30:15 · update #1
He doesn't believe in adoption? wtf?
Anyway, tell her NO WAY. She's the one who is going to have to carry it, deal with the weight gain and all the medical stuff AND the possibility of PPD.
Not to mention the fact that there are ways to get her or anyone else pregnant without him having to sleep with her (so him WANTING to sleep with her, even if just for that seems a bit suspect).
Something just doesn't seem right with this situation.
2007-12-12 10:33:58 · answer #1 · answered by J-Dawn 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Speaking as a gay man......
Your friend has alot to think about! A question so big like "Hey can you have my baby" is not a casual deal where she should feel the need to answer right away.
Is she ready to have a baby?
Will she want to be in said baby's life after birth? If so, will the fathers want your friend in said baby's life?
Are the fathers healthy and financially ready for a child?
I think she is an incredible person for even considering the question. Tell your friend she has a lot to think about and that she and the guy have a lot to talk about.............
2007-12-12 18:35:23 · answer #2 · answered by Rick B 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
The kid of the child is going to be confused later in life, with two fathers if there is no mother. Their has to be a mother around period end of story. If not then the child is going to be isolated into the peers of his/her gender.
Exploiting children to various subjects can let them learn.
Here is a story;
One time a mother adopted a baby in Africa so that the baby can play with the mother's eight year old daughter. The family was your typical white family. The mom did not exploit her daughter to various people. Therefore, one time she found the baby in the bath with red scars, bruises everywhere and she yelled at her daughter saying, "What did you do!" she replied the baby was looked dirty. Something to that effect. I remember this story vaguely. You do not want something like this to happen.
2007-12-12 18:38:57 · answer #3 · answered by Stefano 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well, if she supports him having children and she doesnt mind carrying the baby then go for it. Besides he'd feel more comfortable if he KNEW the surrogate mother. Besids, she always has parenting right, unless she signs to give them up, and can help him take care of the baby.
I say yes, if my gay friend said he wanted to i would, because then id have a child for me and mine girlfriend/partner too. Besides how weird would it be if the mother was a complete stranger from across the country?
2007-12-12 18:54:28 · answer #4 · answered by erin_7x 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Seriously -- no. How old is she? Has she ever been pregnant before? Does she realize what kind of and how strong a bond is between a mom and baby while the baby is in the womb? OMG -- I could NEVER be a surrogate mother!! She's basically be getting pregnant just to adopt a baby out -- and that is wrong as far as I'm concerned.
2007-12-12 18:34:11 · answer #5 · answered by butterfliesRfree 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Well now IF she things her gay friend and his partner will stay together and make a family with the child, I think it is a great gift she can give him. However she has to think of herself too. Who will take care of her medical expenses and time off work while she is giving birth?
It is a great thought to have a friend give birth for one, but there are many details to be worked out.
2007-12-13 09:03:07 · answer #6 · answered by Patti C 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, it sounds like he is making something very complicated, sound simple. He should just adopt. Although, that may be hard to do.
She should just tell him no. Not a good thing to get into. She may not want to give up the baby if she will carry it for 9months.
2007-12-12 18:32:29 · answer #7 · answered by Nani Girl 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well, he certainly didn't beat around the bush! If he wants sex with her for only this reason that sounds quite horrible, he could suggest surrogacy and she could just self inseminate - it works just fine! but who would want to be a surrogate? Not many women, esp. when it is your own egg, so that child really is yours.
What does he mean - he doesn't believe in adoption - he may not want to adopt, but not believing in it? This bloke sounds like an idiot.
What the hell are sergent mothers?
2007-12-12 18:34:13 · answer #8 · answered by Ellesar 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
That would be a very uncomfortable position. Since they are friends, tell her to tell him that he should visit a facility were they specialize in Sergent mothers.
Most women after they have a baby, and it isn't theirs usually want to keep it. Too keep out any of these problems politely say no.
2007-12-12 18:31:51 · answer #9 · answered by Moo 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If she's really willing, all involved need to see a lawyer. These things can backfire big time. Like, what if your friend wants to keep the baby?
2007-12-12 18:30:49 · answer #10 · answered by Franklin 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋