I have a good relationships with in-laws, and I used to visit them in a different town with my husband. Now that we are separating (still living in a house though, different, rooms) here comes a dilemma - my in-laws invite me to come over for the Christmas dinner, while my husband (legally he still is) does not want me to be there. I am thinking why should I give up on my other family and be alone at Christmas, while I do realise that it's a bit unsettling for the both of us to go see them. What is your advice please?
2007-12-12 09:52:42 · 10 answers · asked by Alyssa Macey 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Talk with him, try to work something out. You should respect his wishes, they are his parents after all. Try talking to them about the situation too. do they know you are separated?
2007-12-12 09:56:59 · answer #1 · answered by CableMan 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you all are going thru a divorce, and he has already expressed his feelings about you going to his parents house for the Holidays, I would respect his wishes. Those are his parents, and he should be able to enjoy being with them without the discomfort of you being there. Why don't you go visit a friend, or one of your family members for Christmas instead? You have a right to a happy holiday, just as your husband does, and with that said, let him have a happy one at his parents house, while you go your own way and be with one of your friends, or one of your family members for the holiday.
Merry Christmas
2007-12-12 12:21:02 · answer #2 · answered by lady_bella 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i admire the 2d answer. Spend Christmas Eve with Dad. Have a definite dinner and open your presents- those he offered for you and the presents to procure for him. Watch a trip action picture at the same time, bypass see the lighting fixtures, spend some relaxing time. Then, here day, bypass off on your mom's. that's going to be complicated being on my own, yet your high quality time spent on Christmas Eve is advantageous. next 12 months, opposite- it- spend Christmas Eve with mom, and yuletide Day with Dad.
2016-10-02 08:45:59 · answer #3 · answered by Erika 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its great you have such a nice relationship with your in-laws after seperating. You dont mention if you have kids or not. If you do then i would talk to your husband and explain to him that the seperation is hard enough and that the kids deserve to have their whole family togeather for christmas. if you dont have kids then i would try to set something else up with your in-laws. maybe you could go over the night before or the day after. good luck with whatever you decide.
2007-12-12 10:10:16 · answer #4 · answered by I'M LISTENING !! 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You should see the inlaws on your own time, not when the large group is assembled together, especially your ex. When you marry your husband you marry the family too, but it creates problems when the ex will not divorce the family functions. I have a girlfriend who married a man and the ex was alway attending things and causing problems with the new family..until the ex finnlay found a new love and married that new man. Now she focuses on his family more.
2007-12-12 10:06:56 · answer #5 · answered by heartsarebad 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you didn't say whether or not there are kids involved - if so - I would go...otherwise - maybe just stop in before dinner starts - say hello and explain that you wouldn't want their christmas to be akward because of the situation with your husband...
Find a friend to be with for christmas or go to a church - or go to a theater play...do something that won't feel like you are alone!
2007-12-12 10:00:21 · answer #6 · answered by Me 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Your in-laws can invite whoever they wish to visit during the holidays....Your husband has no say...if he can't handle you being there...then he should go elsewhere.....
Evidently they don't have a problem with you both being there....Why can't people behave and get along? Especially during the Holidays?
2007-12-12 09:58:50 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If it's going to create an uncomfortable situation, perhaps it is better to decline - for everyone's sake.
2007-12-12 09:58:37 · answer #8 · answered by Sandy Ego 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I don't think I would go if they didn't want me to be there. It's kind unfair but some people can't be mature!
2007-12-12 09:56:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Lonely as it will be it is his family. I'd honor his wishes. Sorry you can't work something out.
2007-12-12 09:57:56 · answer #10 · answered by Poppy 7 · 2⤊ 2⤋