How can I talk to my wife about getting another job?

Question

She lost her job about three months ago and wanted to do something different then what she's been doing. So she started working at Chilis resteraunt as a server. I have tried to support what she wanted to do but, she is not half the money she did before. We are getting deeper and deeper in the hole. When I try to talk to her about it she get on the defence. She keeps saying she will start looking for a job but that day never seems to come. I don't know what to do or say anymore. Please help!!

Answer 1

Start canceling things that are not necessities such as cable, Internet, etc. She will ask why you are canceling these things, tell her that you cannot afford these things. Tell her that if she gets a better paying job, you will be able to have these things again.

Also, try giving her a list of employment agencies in your area. They specialize in helping people find jobs that are more suitable for people. Here in my state 50% of employers will not advertise in the paper, but rather go through an employment agency.

Answer 2

She needs to be the one who writes out the bills so she can see and do the math. Even though she may have an idea of the bills and you can say she knows the bills, until she actually sees the bottomline, you will be surprised how many woman do not realize the debt they are in.

She can also be insecure about her ability to do another type of job. You can also look in the paper and send out her resumce for her, help her redo her resume.

I think we all hate job hunting, it is such a depressing and degrading process. She just may not be able to handle all that rejection right now.

She really needs to see the numbers and see that in reality she really needs to do something to pay the bills. Have her open each one, have her do the checkbook, the checkregister, make them out and send them out - to see that there isnt much left.

I hope it all works out for you

Answer 3

I understand where you are coming from. Couples today can not make it with just one income., things are way too expensive. Sit her down and show her the bills and tell her you have to have her help. Please don't let it go on too long, because if you do, you debts will mount up. I just don't understand her not wanting to contribute to the household. And what in the world can anyone do all day long at home.? I would go nutz. I love going to work and I love helping my man with everything we want in this life. I wish you all the best . . .I pray you will be able to reach her, if not, that is when the real problems will begin.

Answer 4

I just went through that with my husband ..... he lost his job and wasn't working enough to help out much with the bills, and instead of pushing him to another job he wouldn't be happy at, I encourage him to do something that he was interested in .... encourage her that will help ALOT

Let her know that a marriage is suppose to be equal, and that you need help with the bills. Dont bring it to or negatively, but sit down and let her know you need help ....

What you could do is split up the bills ... you pay for house & cars .... and she pays for utilitys and insurance ..... or something like that .............. soon she will realize that she isn't making enough to pay the bills and she will either work more or find another job

but let her know you appreciate her trying, but you need more help

Answer 5

Trick her into it. Tell her that if she isn't really interested in getting another job that you're going to have to find a 2nd or 3rd to pay all the bills. My husband wanted me to find another job and did this. I wasn't in any hurry to find another one- I made good money and we were on the same schedule. When I found my new job I now work days and he works nights but the money is a lot better.

Just trick her, kind of. When she thinks that you're having to pick up her slack she'll feel bad and get out ther and look.

Answer 6

my advice is not to pressure her into getting another job....you should actually try getting rid of some of your stuff...if your making payments on new cars....high insurance and all...take the stuff back and buy vehicles more econimical... send back anything that's been purchased with credit....cut your credit cards....see a cc negotiator....eat at home......stop spending money unecessarily.....

people struggle with debt because they don't want to give up what they can't afford....really, americans don't need 80% of the things we own......


edit: couple that really love each other can be happy without all the things we call the "american dream"....the american dream is to be happy as far as I'm concerned....and luxuries don't bring happiness....


the sanctity of your marriage [and your wife's mental health] are far more important than having all the things that we fight and struggle to keep [which will all pass away anyway]//..

Answer 7

you are going to have to sit down and talk to her and show her how much money she makes and tell her that it is not enough that both of you are getting into debt more and more and you need to get out of it to have a better life with tell her that so both of you can go on a nice vaction and be more happier. And if she does not listen then tell her we are going to have to go half and half on everything. And if you do not pay you half then you o well I am not going to pay it.

Answer 8

Show her the bills that you receive in the mail...She needs to understand that they will not go away...and that she really needs to find a job that pays more before you both end up in some serious financial difficulties....

Answer 9

Tell her to start thinking about other people and stop being so self centered.... Get a job or get out.... She gets defensive because she dose not want to get a real job...Good Luck....But I think her mind is made up......

Answer 10

Say, "look dear the bills aren't getting paid, What would you like to sell this month to meet the mortgage?"