What doctors say, and what they're really thinking:
"This should be taken care of right away."
I'd planned a trip to Hawaii next month but this is so easy and profitable that I want to fix it before it cures itself.
"Welllllll, what have we here...?"
He has no idea and is hoping you'll give him a clue.
"Let me check your medical history."
I want to see if you've paid your last bill before spending any more time with you.
"Why don't we make another appointment later in the week."
I'm playing golf this afternoon, and this a waste of time.
--or--
I need the bucks, so I'm charging you for another office visit.
"We have some good news and some bad news."
The good news is, I'm going to buy that new BMW. The bad news is, you're going to pay for it.
"Let's see how it develops."
Maybe in a few days it will grow into something that can be cured.
"Let me schedule you for some tests."
I have a forty percent interest in the lab.
"I'd like to have my associate look at you."
He's going through a messy divorce and owes me a bundle.
"I'd like to prescribe a new drug."
I'm writing a paper and would like to use you for a guinea pig.
"If it doesn't clear up in a week, give me a call."
I don't know what it is. Maybe it will go away by itself.
"That's quite a nasty looking wound."
I think I'm going to throw up.
"This may smart a little."
Last week two patients bit off their tongues.
"Well, we're not feeling so well today, are we...?"
I'm stalling for time. Who are you and why are you here?
"This should fix you up."
The drug company slipped me some big bucks to prescribe this stuff.
"Everything seems to be normal."
Rats! I guess I can't buy that new beach condo after all.
"I'd like to run some more tests."
I can't figure out what's wrong. Maybe the kid in the lab can solve this one.
"Do you suppose all this stress could be affecting your nerves?"
You're crazier'n an outhouse rat. Now, if I can only find a shrink who'll split fees with me ...
"There is a lot of that going around."
My God, that's the third one this week. I'd better learn something about this.
"If those symptoms persist, call for an appointment."
I've never heard of anything so disgusting. Thank God I'm off next week.
2007-12-12 09:39:31 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Senior Citizens
Loved them all with one exception:
we'll see what develops should have had an answer like 'maybe it will prove incurable and I can proscribe a bunch of drugs that won't do anything but line my pockets with more money. Have another star anyway!!!!
2007-12-12 09:48:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
The Media, and Obama and the Liberal Party is just pathetic... They are so desperate to make a non issue, an issue. Why is this even in the news? Why is a President spending his time on Contraceptives in the first place? This Sandra Fluke.. I better not say anything.. I ll get sued!!
2016-04-08 23:27:41 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This really TOO TOO funny - yet, awfully close to the truth!
My doc and his associates have an 'interest' in the lab downstairs in their building...but hey, Medicare has paid for the tests so I ain't complaining! lol
2007-12-12 10:06:53 · answer #3 · answered by sage seeker 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
My doctor doesn't use those phrases. The one he uses at the end of each of our visits isn't on your list:
"You can continue to buy green bananas"
This tells me I'll be around long enough to see them ripen. LOL!
2007-12-12 09:59:48 · answer #4 · answered by desertviking_00 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Would you like a second opinion?
For Gods sake go and bother some one else.
2007-12-12 21:31:29 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Very interesting, entertaining and probably a lot of truth in there as well.
2007-12-12 13:04:36 · answer #6 · answered by Aloha_Ann 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Funny to me.
But I don't have a doctor, I prefer to self-medicate. I'm on my way to the liquor store right now.
2007-12-12 09:48:55 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
Thank you for the translation! I will remember that next time I see my doctor. Chuckles !!!!!!!
2007-12-12 12:09:45 · answer #8 · answered by noonecanne 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
This is great and so very true with some docs.
2007-12-12 12:30:15 · answer #9 · answered by ncgirl 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Sounds more like my mechanic than my doctor.
2007-12-12 09:47:14 · answer #10 · answered by Darin C 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋