Thinking of divorce?

Question

when my husband gets angry at me he verbally abuses me and it can get bad. today when he was outside on his way to work he was calling me ***** and worthless infront of our neighbors. he honked the horn for a few minutes to draw attention. he has hit me before and tells me that i provoked it. (i was pregnant at the time) yesterday (see my previous questions) he was disrespectful to me infront of his friends at work and today when i tried to talk to him he told me that he did nothing wrong. we have been together for 6 years and hes been like this for the past 4. it starfted when he stole from my family and lied about it and tore the relationship tht i had with them. i want to leave him but it seems hard to let go and im scared. i think that things will get better but they havent so far. i have no family (they are deceased) and i have 2 small kids
(1 & 3) hardly any money and a job that pays less than $400 a month. I have a friend in TN that would let me go there if I needed to.

we are in ohio and i cant bear the thought of taking the kid away from their dad but i hate this situation and it seems like this happend with every single arguement...no matter how small, he disrespects, calls names, threatens to leave or to make me leave and belittles me. he has cheated on me 6 years ago and sometimes he will push me around, throw me to another side of hte couch or hit my shoulders and says its in self defense..what is he defending..everytime thatg hes hit me Ive been pregnant and I have been sitting down. what should i do? how hard is it to get divorced?

Answer 1

i have been in your shoes and it is not fun. i do know that the fear of leaving is scary but it will work out for the best for you and the kids. if you have a place to go then that is what you do. that is first step in getting out. it will take a few weeks for you to start thinking again and it might even take longer but in a few weeks things will start looking alot better. there is no reason for anyone to put their hands on you. the disrespect thing is his fault not yours and not matter what he says it is his problem not yours. it just makes him feel better if he can blame you. once i left i never looked back. the next time we (me and the ex) talked it was through MY lawyer. when all was said and done he told me how HE messed up our marriage. all i could say was yes and now where is the child support. he has to pay or go to jail. i hope you are sreious about getting your kids to a safe home because they need it. Good luck and God bless!!!

Answer 2

You seriously need to get out know. I know it will be hard to just pick up and leave but its necessary. If your neighbors are witnessing things like this, no doubt your kids are! And it is awful for them to witness any kind of abuse of their mother. By staying in this relationship, you are letting your kids know that you are ok with being treated this way and they may not be the best judges of a good relationship when it comes to choosing their own partners. You need to respect yourself and get out of this horrible situation and your kids will benefit much more from seeing you did the right thing for yourself than they would be growing up watching this abuse which for all you know could get worse. It will not get better. Get a divorce and get child support from him and see if there are any other jobs out there that can help you better support your children. But no matter what, you need to get out now. Good luck.

Answer 3

do NOT leave. you have two babies!!! it's not about u anymore. it's about ure babies. if ure husband is not a crazy person or an alcoholic, u should try talking to him about everything that's bothering u, n tell him how ure feeling n what ure thinking to do. n always talk about ure kids n make him think about them n feel bad for them so he stops doing whatever he's doing for them at least.
btw, i know for sure i'm gonna get a lot of tums down for telling u this n i dont care, i'm saying this cuz i know exactly how u feel, it's not easy to just leave n let go of ure husband that u spent 6 years with n start a whole new life where u never know if it's going to be better or maybe worst!
don't worry just talk to him when he's in a really good mood n tell him that u love him so much n u really want this to work but u cant do it by ureself u need his help..
good luck!

Answer 4

Contrary to the post above me, you need to keep your kids and yourself safe by leaving... he is violent and abusive. That is not a safe place for anyone...especially little kids who cannot defend for themselves.

Take the kids and go wherever you have a safe place to stay. Don't feel bad about taking the kids away from him. He is only teaching them to be just like him when they are grown. Do yourself and your children the favor... and stay safe. He is violent on too many levels and is way too unpredictable.

In your case, divorce will not be too difficult since he is obviously abusive and each and every one of your neighbors have been witness to it. I wish you all the best. Keep safe!

Answer 5

Sweetie, this sounds like a situation that you need to get out of.

Regardless of who is at fault, you have two children that you need to be responsible for. Youre not teaching them anything good by staying in a situation like that. There are programs that will assist you until you can get on your feet. Dont wait until its too late to protect yourself and your kids.

If he is the good man that you want him to be, once you give him no chance but to change...he will, just make sure that he actually has before you consider going back to him.

Answer 6

Go to your local shelter and get help. There are abuse shelters everywhere. They will help you get on your feet and get to where you need to go. They will also let the local police know of the situation so that there is extra protection. Things generally do not get better. I used to volunteer at a shelter and I know that they are caring and giving. You can find it in the phone book or through the police.

Answer 7

I know it is hard but you have to leave.I have been in a situation like yours but my husband would beat me all the time and he also had a drinking problem.I can tell you right now unless he is going somewhere to get help he wont change.It took me a long time to leave.I did it because I knew it was best for my girls.I am 27 with no education and I live at home with my parents.(I feel like a failure but at the same time I know I wasn't doing my part as a mother by staying there)Just think about your kids.Go with your friend and work on yourself.Your husband sounds just like mine and I remember all those days he would make me feel like crap in front of people.You just have to do it.If you ask yourself over and over you wont do it.Just set a day and go.I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 8

Go to your friends. Get a good lawyer and file for divorce. Nobody has the right to hit you. Nobody! Provoked my @ss. Make sure you get child support. Find a better paying job and just do it.

Answer 9

well you cant bear it so go awy and give him a divorce pack your things take the kids and keep them somewhere your husband cant find them and then get a divorce you cant live like this and tell your children i am sure they will understand when they grow up thats why you should do an arrange marrage

Answer 10

You don't have to put up with that crap. Go live with your friend, get yourself back on your feet and start a new life, without your abusive and controlling husband.