I'm I crazy? Everyone keeps asking WHY? Are you pregnant?? And no, I'm not, I just want to commit my love to the guy I love with all my heart. I don't ever want to be with ANY one else and he feels the same way. We've been living together for almost a year now, things get rough, but we always make our way through it and we do it together. So basically I guess what my question is, has anyone married this young for reasons similar to mine with no baby or pregnancy in the mix and everything worked out awesome for you? (By the way i ask about the no baby part because i find that most people who married only because of the kids would not have married if it were not for the kids...) Ok, thats all. Thanks!
2007-12-12 09:23:49 · 46 answers · asked by Abby 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would say dont do it 20 is very young and feelings change at that age. One minute u think ur in love and then later ur out of love. U shoul djust have fun and be young while u can life is too short. You have forever to get married why do it now? dating will not hurt.
2007-12-12 09:27:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 3⤋
Well...I got married when I was 21 to my high school sweetheart. We were both in school but he had a really good job, but I went a little nuts and split. I guess marriage really sunk in after all the hoopla and I couldn't handle it even though I was positive that I could. I was divorced by 23. So, in my infinite wisdom, I found a guy who was wonderful and all those things...married him. Now, I am 29 and still not happy. I have two choices at this point. Deal with it or leave him. All I am saying is that marriage is WORK no matter how much you love each other. Be careful with the decisions you make now. Think of marriage as picking out your favorite outfit in you closet today and having to wear it every day for the rest of your life. Do you really think that outfit is going to be your favorite in 10, 20, or 30 years? Or is it a classic that will stand the test of time. Just a thought. Good luck!
2016-05-23 06:49:55 · answer #2 · answered by margaretta 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES and have been married for 21 years and still going!
We married when I was 19 and he was 20 and there was no baby on the way. The only reason was love. We didn't have children until I was 23. We did have fun. What better why to spend your entire life than with your best friend and the love of you life. You are right...there will be plenty to work through. When people ask us how we stayed married so long we simply say we love each other enough to work through everything.
2007-12-12 09:33:21 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Living together, or should i say finding a place to live together is hard. Plus you don't know where your career is going to take you. So people normally have the 20-28 as a working career or at least know where (what city) they are going to be settling down in.
If you know the answer to these two question. Than I quess marriage is okay. But then you have a next question. When do you plan to have a kid? To early, mean after a year of marriage, people will talk. She marry because she is pregant. If you don't care about that. Great. The big question is who is going to take care of the kid, why your husband and you is working? If you plan to stay home, can his monthly income now support the family?
If so, starting a family wouldn't be a problem. Good luck.
2007-12-12 09:30:06 · answer #4 · answered by ken401lam 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I am eighteen years old, and I am married. I find it interesting that you asked to hear from the people who it worked out great for, but I think it is important to also take in the bad information.
I have only been married for five months, so you must consider that while listening to my advice, but I do have a lot to say.
I love my husband to death. He is a wonderful man. With that said, if I had a time machine I'm pretty sure I would use it it to go back in time and wait longer to get married. People always ask me why I did it, and if I have kids, too. We don't have any kids, I've never been pregnant. And why we did it is a long story. We had great, great motivation to do it when we did, and I felt as though I would NEVER want to be with anyone else. So did he. I understand where you're coming from. But sweety, please please please please please wait. I envy you in that you have not wed yet. I am very mature for my age, but that doesn't change my age. I am still a kid. I wish I could have lived my life more.. been like other 18 year olds. Now I'm settled down. Life can be long ... if your feelings for him will never change then why not wait a little while longer untill others approve more and you've continued to test it out. Things you would NEVER imagine could come up, and feelings you thought were cemented in place forever can begin to budge. As unthinkable as it is, you might one day regret marrying him. If you are liberal about divorce then this is less of an issue as it is for myself, but divorces are still never desirable. Take it from someone who's done it.. and please wait.
2007-12-12 09:33:53 · answer #5 · answered by Mary 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
YES.
I was married at 20, baby at 23, and I'm still happy 10.5 years later and we have the best relationship that I know, besides my parents. And we didn't live together till 2 weeks before we married.
Very happy, and content. People asked us why, we told them, We know we want to get married, but we also know once we are on our own we probably won't be able to afford a wedding and it would just get put off. Why wait, we just knew we were right for each other.
My case may be a little different because we knew each other our entire lives, we weren't really around each other alot, but once in a while we played as children. My Aunt and his Mom were best friends. So we crushed on each other for 15 years or so before we dated, then dated on and off for 2 years, one year steady. Then decide we were meant to be.
2007-12-13 12:53:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband got married when he was 20 and stayed married for 12 years to her. They divorced several years ago... no kids involved. My parents married when my mother was 20 as well...they too are divorced, although they did remain married for 24 years. Both couples married just because they wanted to... and they did remain married for quite some time :)
I wish I could provide more positive results for you... but I have none in my experience. I know many people beat the odds though. You know what you feel and are entitled to do what is best for you. If this is the man you want to marry and you are ready for the commitment...the I wish you all the best!
2007-12-12 09:35:45 · answer #7 · answered by Kim 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the biggest thing is to not have kids til you HAVE lived a full single life WITH him. It's bogging down the new marriage with too many responsibilities too fast that make the young ones fail. Sit down and plan out and agree on each other's career goals, how each will get there, and PLEASE, make sure HE works and YOU go to college first, if you have to take turns! There are WAY too many stories of good wives who put their husbands through college and when he was done, their turn for one reason or the other to further their education never happened!
Be VERY definite on when you want to start having babies. And stick to it no matter what...matter of fact make this all a pre-nup so you guys can go back and read what you wrote when you were still thinking...
Obviously get premarital counseling like every couple should do.
Plan the MOST inexpensive wedding possible because you do not need the financial burden that young!
And all this talk about single life...you can go to parties with him as your date, f*ck him in the club or back at the hotel room...it's actually BETTER in this age of rampant sex and disease to have a husband to enjoy the young life with! Cause single life is more dangerous today than at any time in history!
Just definitely make sure to have a college degree, minimize marriage expenses, communicate, and enjoy!
BETTER TO MARRY THAN TO BURN IN LUST.
And for god sake i can't say it enough wait til you are out of college and working on a job long enough to qualify for maternity benefits before you have any children. Take depo or something that is not as easy to slip up with like the pill...cause a married man probly isn't going to want to have to use a condom... I think all a young marriage needs to survive is support for each other's career goals and a definite committment to have a much bigger gap between marriage and having babies.
2007-12-12 11:38:37 · answer #8 · answered by MissJamaica 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think it's great that your making this commitment without the pressure of pregnancy. As long as you love each other and want to spend your lives together, then go for it! You can't ever know for certain whether anything is right or wrong, you just take a chance, try your hardest, and hope for the best. I love to see couples who make it, when everyone else said they wouldn't last! Prove the naysayers all wrong! Good Luck!
2007-12-12 09:39:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it's meant to be then it will also be there next year. Wait, your relationship has alot a ground to cover. I know that's not what young people want to hear but the proof is in the pudding, the statistics for marriages failing in your age group are almost 100 percent. You would have better luck buying a lottery ticket. I know you won't listen... kids never do. I can only hope you at least don't involve a "little" life in your adventure.
2007-12-12 09:35:09 · answer #10 · answered by private 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What I have to tell you is I did the same thing and we did end up getting divorce. But I wouldn't go by other people. We also lived together a year prior and no, no baby (not then). Thing people don't realize at your age is there is STILL a lot of changeing going on between 20 and 25. You'll be surprised BUT PLEASE don't go by what others' say, you may be making the right decision. ONLY time will tell....and there will be a LOT of time...after you are committed.
2007-12-12 09:30:17 · answer #11 · answered by butterfliesRfree 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋