why did my husband automatically think that i slept with this guy..what does it mean?

Question

i told my hubby that i had lunch with this guy that gives me so much attention compliments me.we had a big fight about it.he automatically think that i slept with this guy and god knows it was just cassual lunch and conversstion. well i told him that he gives me so much attention guess what he answered me?? everyman is different and he loves me uncontionally...

Answer 1

If it is attention you need from your husband, then you should tell him that rather than telling him about how another man showers you with it. You created this problem by wanting to see his rage of jealousy. Did you really expect him to be happy about it? How would you feel if he went to lunch with a women who compliments him in hopes of pulling him away from you? Would it make you feel secure in knowing that he enjoyed it..........but it was just casual right? It is wonderful that you can be so honest to tell him this. But why not be honest with telling him what you need. You've filled his mind with this insecurity now as he knows what a man's intention is when he showers a woman with compliments. You can't compare another man to your husband especially when this man is trying to woo you. Your husband should not have to compete with another man. You've created this more or less by asking what he does for you. Well he does love you unconditionally. He supports you emotionally and financially. He's been there with you through thick and thin. Should he be happy that another can make you feel so good about yourself? Does anything he done in the past for you hold any merit to this? You see, you have told him that he should be insecure because this man gives you what he don't. So this insinuates that your husband isn't fulfilling your needs at all. Or at least that's how he sees it. Naturally this would make him feel like crap. Yet you've got him defending his love for you. Personally I think the whole situation is messed up. You shouldn't be having lunch with men who pay you such attention and compliments. This man knows you're married yet he still hits on you. What does this tell you about this man? That's he a good man though he's hitting on a married women. If a ring don't stop him, what will? This is why your husband questions your fidelity. Because he is a man and understands what other men's intentions are. It's ashame that he don't trust you enough to know better. But yet it's understandable as he can't trust you enough to tell him what you want and need. Sorry if I seem to be coming off as rude. But from the outside looking in and the info you've given this is how I perceive the situation. Good Luck & God Bless!

Answer 2

It sounds as if you need attention from your husband or else why in the world would you throw it at his face the fact that another man pays so much attention to you with lots of compliments? For a wife to play and tease her husband this way she will eventually lose his trust and respect, as this is what it sounds like is already happening. You are playing a dangerous game with your husbands emotions as you might one day find that he is having lunch with a female co-worker who also pays him attention and you will not like it. No ill intent meant, just trying to open up your eyes as to what you are doing. And do not say you are only trying to be honest as this is not honest, it is cruel. If you need your husband to pay more attention to you, get it by giving him some compliments and by showing him respect and appreciation. You will be surprised how warmly he will respond. I hope you at least give my answer a little thought before it is too late.

Answer 3

Why would you ever say that to your husband in the first place? And if it is true, then why would you ever go for lunch with a man like this - putting your relationship in jeapordy. This is so wrong, I'd be pretty upset too. Your husband probably thinks if you are low enough to act this way, you're low enough to sleep around. Grow up, and treat the one you should be treating right right! If you don't start respecting your man and your relationship, you'll face divorce in the near future. Why would you do this to your marriage? It's supposed to be a beautiful thing, where the two of you love spending time together and making eachother feel wonderful...... don't ever lose sight of the reasons why you are with your husband.

Answer 4

What is your problem? How the hell did you expect him to react? Get over yourself and start thinking of your marriage instead of your selfish self. This 'other' man is doing what most males would do to get you 'in the sack', THINK ABOUT IT!
Your husband is soooooo right, everyman is different some are more calm about stuff like this but I'd say 99% of men would have reacted the same. Don't let some other '****' who you THINK likes you ruin your marriage.
If you're having marriage troubles talk to YOUR HUSBAND, don't go around thinking this bloke is being nice because he's always like that, he's just after some pussy!

Answer 5

Your husband has the right to think that. What you're doing is not a good idea. If you want some attention you're going about it the wrong way. You should have talked to your husband instead of another man. What you're doing is going to cause your husband to either cheat on you or not ever trust you. You need to get some marriage counseling to save your marriage and leave this other guy alone. All men give a woman that they want attention, think about what your husband did when he first met you. You're playing with fire and you're going to get burn.

Answer 6

You placed yourself in a position of compromise, no two ways about. Your husbands reaction was both normal and expected. The real question is why did you do it - go to lunch and then compliment another man to your husband. People can be push overs for compliments and attention -- pat attention to what your morals tell you and act accordingly; you'll sleep a hole lot better.

Answer 7

You need not to be going out with a man who talks to you like this unless you have other motives. Certainly in a professional setting under work conditions thats ok but going to lunch with him crosses a line most would find bothersome.

Additionally I find it odd you would throw this in your BFs face. What is your reasoning for that? What if he went to lunch with a nice female and she was flowering him with complements and he told you? I think you may see things differently. Now if your in a bad relationship then move on and quit torturing your man.

Answer 8

Casual lunch and conversation is not something to be entertained by any man other than your husband especially without his prior consent that's emotional cheating which lends to physical cheating and your husband knows this of course he's upset has every right to be. Would you be okay with him complimenting another woman and giving her alot of attention? Or worse taking her out. You are WRONG with TWO LEFT shoes. My husband would be fighting mad.

Answer 9

Women like you give serious married women a bad name. I'm sure if we were to ask your husband about this incident, the story would be a lot different. Quit playing with fire. Your husband is right! You are lucky you have a husband that truly loves you!

Answer 10

He assumed this because he's insecure with his self and does not trust you. You need to sit him down and let him know that trust is essential in a marriage and that you would never do anything to hurt him. Regardless if the man gave you compliments, it doesn't mean you were having affair or even flirting with the man.
Your husband has some insecurities that he needs to work on.