Do men get the short end of the stick when it comes to children, child support and decisions regarding kids?

Question

This is what I don't understand. If a woman says she wants a baby and the man does not want a child, then he is forced to pay child support by the courts. If a woman decides that she wants to have an abortion, then the man is not able to legally stop it.

If a woman honestly wants a man to contribute 100% to the financial and emotional needs, shouldn't he has as much rights as she does when it comes down to the decision making and fate of the child from conception?

I am not saying that men should not be responsible for the financial and emotional support of their children. I am saying that shouldn't they have the same rights as women in the decision making that concerns the child's future and their own?

Answer 1

Yes, in my opinion, they absolutely do get the short end of the stick. Before someone comments by saying that non-custodial mothers also have to pay child support- Yes, I am aware of this. However, our system here in the U.S. favors the mother and exhausts every effort in an attempt to ensure that the biological mother retains custody.

That being said, I would also like to say that actually, no, the custodial parent is not always required to inform the non-custodial parent of his/her current residence. This is only required in the event that the non-custodial parent is granted visitation. Child support and visitation are two separate court orders. One has nothing to do with the other. If there is no court order granting visitation to the non-custodial parent then the non-custodial parent has no legal grounds on which to demand that the custodial parent provide his/her address. Although, he/she will most likely find out if there is a child support order (since the names and addresses appear on paperwork).

Additionally, anyone can raise questions regarding the treatment of a child and the activities of the custodial parent. So that doesn't really factor into whether or not men get the short end of the stick. I realize that the person who made mention of these things isn't from the U.S. (if I remember correctly). But I just thought I'd comment for the sake of making folks aware. Remember, everyone, child support and other family laws vary from state to state and certainly from country to country.

Anyway....

My opinion is that men should be given the same "get out of jail free" card that women are given (abortion, safe-haven laws, etc...) and that it should last for the same time period. In other words, a woman has x-amount of time to have an abortion. Depending upon the state, a woman has x-amount of time (from the moment of birth up to the limit allowed by law) to basically abandon her child at a designated location (such as a hospital or fire station). Well, a man should have x-amount of time to forfeit all rights AND RESPONSIBILITIES connected to the care of his child.

Not many people agree with me when I express my opinions regarding this issue. People have said, "But the woman has to carry the child." Sorry, but I don't see how that has anything to do with, well, ANYTHING. So women carry children- What's the point? Men should have to be obligated simply because they don't carry children? I don't think so. I'm not trying to sound harsh- Yes, I know the children need care. But why should women be permitted to shirk caring for their children any more than men?

(Abortion isn't just about one's own body. Most women have abortions because they don't want children. For the most part, it usually isn't a matter of the pregnancy itself. To suggest otherwise is to claim that women are having abortions simply because they don't want to endure the pregnancy- That's it- No concerns about motherhood. HOW RIDICULOUS! There are exceptions, I know (i.e. when a woman's/baby's life is at stake). But my point is that, as I said, if a woman has the right to choose, a man should likewise have the right to choose. Furthermore, abortion isn't the end all be all of choice. As mentioned above, there are safe-haven laws which allow women to abandon their babies. Additionally, a woman can easily give her baby up for adoption without paternal consent. She need only claim to have no knowledge of who the father might be. Sure, it'll make her look like a wh*re, but she can definitely do as such. Women's choices extend far beyond abortion. To an extent, the law welcomes women avoiding parental responsibility. In my opinion, our justice system should either focus more upon the children than the parents or grant men the same opportunity as women to shirk responsibility. As childish as this may sound, fair is fair.)

And, NO, I am NOT saying that abortion should be outlawed altogether. I believe that abortion should only be permitted in the following circumstances:
1) health/life of the woman/baby is at risk,
2) rape
3) with the consent of the father.

Answer 2

You do have choices. Your choices as a male are refrain from sex, or to wear a condom, or to have a vasectomy. What is in the best interest of the child, if there is a child, is that both parents pay to support it. There are way too many women in this country supporting a child all by themselves with no help from the fathers. Looks to me like it's those women getting the short end of the stick. ##

Answer 3

well, here's the thing-- women are the ones "burdened" by the pregnancy physically. For whatever reason, the courts have given them full reign on whether or not the life is worth keeping. Fair? Not really. But mostly not fair to the child not given a voice. If the man doesn't want a child with the woman, and if he is unsure of her, he better just keep it in his pants.

Answer 4

I fought for my right not to be less than a part time Dad, because i was'nt in the begining. I won that battle have my children everyother week!!! Yes in the past and even know to some extent, men have taken it in the shorts by law, however that was the times when most ladys stayed home with there children, Now it's different and the laws are changing to some extent,however it takes time... Now were seeing the younger generation wanting to stay home with the kids until they go off to school, sooo were just completing another cycyle so to speak......

Answer 5

I agree completely. It goes further than that. When I started custody action for my daughter, I was paying $450 a month child support. After I won, my ex doesn't have to pay me anything. When I fought for my son, $500 a month child support. I won that one too, but the ex doesn't have to pay me anything. Not that I want their money, but it could help. But why do men always have to pay, but not the women?

Answer 6

You're 100% right. In my house I have just as much say over everything my kids do. Men just need to step up, be fathers and let the women know they are just as much of a parent as they are. Actions speak louder than words.

Answer 7

Actually whatever the outcome for mother or father...they hardly get the short end of the stick compared to the kids

Answer 8

for certain if IF the fella is still playing a part in that child's life not all of them do. men do have a lot of say in how the child is raised provided that he is taking his part in raising that child. the woman can't move unless the father oks it, he can certainly bring up arguments about whom the mother brings home if given proper justification ie) unexplained brusing, or generally what the child has to say. trust me sometimes it is better that the father has nothing to do with the kid

Answer 9

You are absolutely right! Men should band together and rewrite laws that protect their rights as fathers.

Answer 10

Paying child support does not have to do with so important a right as bodily autonomy. Abortion rights do.