Will it last forever and ever?

Question

I am 21 yr old woman…yeah...young to be thinking about this kind of stuff, but I am extremely romantic and believe in marriage…well…at least I should, right? I would like to know who here has been happily married for at least 5 years. And if you are single…do you believe in marriage? Because now I am wondering…is it very, very difficult to be happy with the person you claim to love until the day you die?

Answer 1

I am married for 6 years but I wouldnt say its all happy and great all the time
It has its days where I am like no way will this be it forever but other days I cant stand to be with out him so I guess best advice would be take it slow and make sure he is the one before you marry him
Then you can have a better chance at finding someone to be with that you will love

Answer 2

I think you need to seriously re-define your idea of "forever". If you're asking for input from people that have been married for 5 years......

Honey - 5 years is a drop of piss in the ocean of time when it comes to a liflong commitment.

Ask this of someone who's been married at least 40 to 50 years and you'd get some real insight.

Yes - I believe it can last. But you also need to KNOW a few things going in....

1) The hot passion will NOT last. It waxes and wains... don't ask me WHY this happens but it does, it can be in an up-tick or down-tick for a year or two at a time...

2) The person you marry will not be the same person you will be married to in 5, 10, 15, 20 years.... people change - not just thier appearance. Life changes people - be ready for that and learn to work with / through it. If you think your love will never change - you're doomed from the start.

3) Your last sentence is true.... it IS very. very difficult to be happy with the person you claim to love until you die.... at least at certain points in time.

The day will come in EVERY marriage, where you look at the other person and quietly wonder to yourself (or maybe even out-loud) what the HELL you ever say in them and why you married this person !!!! Saying it won't happen is like saying you won't die..... you hope it doesn't happen, but it will eventually.... Those that say it hasn't just haven't reached that point yet. Those that say it won't happen are lying to themselves.

The BIG issue is - What are you going to do when you reach that point? What's your "fix it" plan? Marriages that are strong address this type of thing BEFORE it happens (i.e. marriage retreats, therapy, whatever works for the two of you). Those that survive the times of doubt are made up of two traits.... 1) Two people who are willing to WORK together to solve the issue 2) Two people who REFUSE to give up on each other.

The others either end in divorce, or in a hate filled loveless marriage (come on - everyone has seen an example of this), the old couple who are too stubborn to divorce (or it was socially taboo for them in their time), now they can't stand each other...... the suburbia housewife that looks the other way while her husband cheats (or visa versa...) .... The verbally / emotionally abusive couple that would rather fight then let the other person "win" by getting a divorce .....

Will it last forever and ever.... its really a CHOICE that you and your spouse will have to make on a continous basis, everyday, throughout your marriage....

Answer 3

I'm engaged. I most definitely believe in marriage. It's difficult for people to remain happy because they don't seek the right help when things in their marriage get rough. My fiance and I both are on the same page, we realize that if we have rough patches that communication is the key to help save a marriage and that if worse came to worse and things got really bad, we would seek professional assistant like a marriage counselor to help us work on our problems. A lot of people these days don't give and put forth as much effort toward marriage because they believe marriage is nothing but a name change.
I believe marriage is so much more, it means everything to me as is supposed to. I dreamed about love since I was a child, it is what I yearned for. I didn't care if I didn't become rich or a celebrity or anything of the such, I just wanted love because I believe with love nothing prevails over true love. I am blessed to have found it and cannot WAIT till my wedding day. We're writing our own vow's and the words that we speak together, we mean them and will forever, because they're words that should be cherished.. that's why we're writing our own because we want each other to know how we truly feel.

Answer 4

This June I will have been married to my beautiful bride for twenty years. We are still in love with each other as much if not more than when we met. I will say that it has not all been easy. We have fights just like the next couple. What helps is that we try not to go to bed mad at each other. We will sit down and discuss things before we turn in for the night. It seems to help. That way you do not go to sleep mad at your spouse. Although our sex life has fallen off a bit, we both are still attracted to each other. Also, jealousy is not a factor in our marriage. I know that my bride finds other men attractive, the same as me with women. But, I will not cheat on her. I have had time where I have women practically beg me to cheat on her (which I don't understand, because I am not very attractive). When I said my vows to her in a church in front of our families and God, I meant it. So, couples can go the distance. You have to work at it, because nothing good is easy. There will be more good days than bad ones.

Answer 5

I got married at 23, after dating my husband (who was 26) for 9 months, and we will celebrate our 16 year anniversary in May. We've, generally, been happy but you have to expect some ups and downs and you have to be willing to work through them. Don't idealize a successful marriage as being all happiness and flowers. It isn't. It's teamwork and compromise held together by love and respect. It isn't hard to be happy with the same person forever, provided you have a strong base to begin with and that you know how to handle the bumps in the road along the way.

Answer 6

I've been happily married almost 9 years, together for 10. Find a partner you can laugh with and talk to openly and you will be ahead of the game. Being married during the good times is easy, it's the bad times that test your commitment. I don't think being married is that hard, but it is work.

Answer 7

Well I do believe in marriage.. I've been in a bad relationship for 5 years now, on and off, with 2 kids, but I guess it wasn't meant to be with this guy. I know there's someone that will truly make me happy even if it sounds like a fantasy. I won't let a man ruin my hopes of it.

Answer 8

My parents have been married for 28 years, dated 10 years before that.. & they are still very much in love, you can tell by looking at them..

I am 21 too & got married 3 months ago (dated for 1.5 years) (yes, i am pregnant)
but i just know my husband & i will be together forever <3

Answer 9

It will last forever if you believe in it, have faith for each other and fight for it...
Am happily married for 5yrs now. Prior to getting married, my husband who was then my boyfriend and I have been committed for 5yrs - long distance relationship and it was more like a Romeo and Juliet scenario.
You will definitely fall out of love and will fight like cats and dogs. But both of you must take away pride and you'll go a long long way...
And I guess, there's no more powerful than putting God in the center of your lives...

Answer 10

All I have to say is that people change. And sometimes that change can either make or break the relationship.

We've been brought up with these fairy tale ideas of Princes' rescuing us, whisking us away to their castles in the clouds, and living happily ever after.

Reality is.......Both have to work to support a household. Then you'll have conflicting schedules, meetings in other cities, and have to find the time to spend time with one another.
Then you have in-laws. If they don't like you or respect you, your marriage is pretty well a living hell.
Then you'll have the holidays......which family to spend it with.
Kids? That's a whole different can of worms.......

It's nice to dream, but we can't have it all.