I'm just wondering because I had a pretty good idea but everyday I realize that I could have never imagined how difficult it actually is.
What was your biggest surprise, shock, difficulty, obstacle - whatever you want to call it?
I'm asking about you so don't tell me about me.
2007-12-12 07:22:28 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No way did I know the Truth about marriage until I did it.....
The biggest shock to me was how hard you have to work at being in love and staying in love when someone just pisses you off royally.
Marriage is Hard work and you both have to give 100% I was raised believing that it was 50/50 but that is a lie.
2007-12-12 07:27:59 · answer #1 · answered by Been There Done That 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Both of my parents have been married 3 times. Having lived through that, I was very well aware what marriage meant. I never wanted to repeat that cycle and it also made me aware that marriage isn't easy. Honestly I don't really have any surprises. I new it wasn't all laughs and giggles when I decided to do it, but I also wanted a family and children. I never want to put my children through what I went through growing up. My husband comes from a similar background, so I think that is one of the reasons we get along so well. We don't sweat the small stuff and we work out the big stuff, even if it's just to agree to disagree. We understand that our marriage is about so much more than just us and some of our petty squabbles. I love him, respect him, and can't imagine my life without him and I am glad I married him. Even on the bad days. I truly understood what it meant and meant what I said when I said I do. It's been 10 years with no end in sight...
2007-12-12 07:45:54 · answer #2 · answered by ♦justme♦ 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'm 24 now but I had just turned 20 so many people said I was just a "baby." When I took those vows, I knew it meant for life. No opt-out, no easy break, no one else ever. And I'm loving marriage. My husband and I are like 2 peas in a pod. We have very similar personalities, senses of humor, goals and beliefs. We are different in many ways as well, but those only serve to complement each other. I realize we are incredibly blessed to fit so well together and enjoy a wonderful life together. Of course we have arguments here and there, but what normal relationship doesn't? We never had any major difficulties within our marriage. We're both military, so we've had our share of external hardship but we never let it affect us internally. I think that our commitment to our relationship helps us brave the harsh winds of life on the outside.
2007-12-12 07:31:05 · answer #3 · answered by anc876 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I did or thought I did at least. Some days are better than others. Some times the man can get on my nerves. My pet peeves with him, he has a bad memory but doesn't think he does, his sleeping habits is there a bed larger than a california king LOL, and that stupid Diablo game he is always playing. I have bad habits too and I'm sure he could make a long list too. LOL
Oh clever girl don't I know how you feel. except I have three of those know it all sister in laws. One who has been arrested for possesion but thinks she can tell me how to raise my kids and yes her 2 yr old saw mommy get arrested, one was a stripper she isn't all that bad actually, and for the oldest a women who has been married four times and her current husband calls my neices fat but I don't know how to raise kids. We really should start a club.
2007-12-12 07:28:01 · answer #4 · answered by christina h 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No I certainly did not. The biggest difficulty I faced was having "my idea" of marriage be completely different than my husband's. It was a struggle for 7 years. We have now been married 10 years and marrying my husband was the best decision of my life. He is wonderful.
2007-12-12 07:27:17 · answer #5 · answered by sydjuliaddd 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was surpised that it would make me happy, my biggest shock was that I had to think about His feelings more when I make decisions.
Some obstacles we still encounter are learning how to fight, , and finally to accept eachother for the way we both are. For example, he always complains about the fact that I don't seperate the laundry (darks and whites) in the baskets, I can't stand when he does the dishes because he makes a mess all over the floor and counters. But we decided that he has to just be happy I put the clothes in the baskets and I have to be happy that he actually does the dishes. I guess you just have to find things to appreciate instead of things to complain about. I think that was one the everyday things we learned after we got married.
2007-12-12 07:32:17 · answer #6 · answered by Megsee25 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
What shocked me is that I just thought I knew her. My mistake. After we were married a couple of weeks it dawned on me that her views of marriage is totally different than mine. She is controlling, picky about everything, moody, rude, and it's all about her and what she wants. There is no us, it's all her. Honestly, there is actually no benifit being married to this woman. She doesn't do anything for me and all she does is want. A real taker and not a giver.
Conclusion: I stongly suggest a long engagement or living together before you say " I DO." If you don't , the result could be totally a miserable marriage.
2007-12-12 07:39:12 · answer #7 · answered by Keeper 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yes, 10+ years married and I still would say "I do" in a flash. It's more than I hoped it would be. No surprises or shocks - difficulties happen but that's expected when your share your home, your life, your past/present/future with another person, but those can all be forgiven when love is there.
2007-12-12 07:27:42 · answer #8 · answered by Signilda 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I did understand alot of what marriage was about, but not everything. I only knew my husband for 5 weeks before we married, I've been married now for 13 years and we have 3 children together...and were still learning as we go, but you both gotta want it to work. There's just so much that happens during a marrage like..children, financial difficulties and sickness, etc..people don't realize that comes with a marrage too! STRESSES, and lots of 'em
2007-12-12 07:43:51 · answer #9 · answered by Poundcake 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I did and it has been 5 years of mostly wonderful times. Nothing is perfect, but if you love each other (and understand LOVE) then anything can work. Biggest obstacle is her jealousy, but I knew that before marriage, and it has subsided a LOT since.
2007-12-12 07:26:12 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋