In addition, my son recently was diagnosed with bi polar disorder and my father is being place in a Nursing Home. He wants me to take care of my father, my son in addition to all the household chores and cooking cleaning, lawnwork, upkeep of the house while he retreats to his room and smokes and drink. Do I have cause to be upset? Help
2007-12-12 05:45:03 · 39 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yea......hello you didnt sit on your *** for those years you gave birth to a son. I would take care of everyone but him. No laundry no food. you are not his maid. and definatelly no sex. Does your father have a nursing aid or at least a staff person you can go to with any concerns. No lawn work. I work with adults who suffer from mental illness. Make sure your son gets medications for the up and downs in his emotions and a good support group, therapist this way he knows hes not the only one with this disorder.
2007-12-12 05:54:38 · answer #1 · answered by yerdonia 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ya you have cause to be upset! The idea that he worked outside the house for 37 years and so doesn't need to work inside the house now is ridiculous.
You could do a few things to try and wake him up...
Don't clean up after him..don't do his laundry and don't cook for him. If you can stand it. The hope is eventually he will get the point and pick up a mop.
Figure out what the going rate is for a housekeeper and private nurse and bill him for your work. Tell him you aren't kidding and see if he gets the point.
If these silly things don't work I think you may have a more serious problem and may need to go for some counselling. I am hoping he isn't been so unsupportive on purpose but because he doesn't know any better.
Best of luck to you!
2007-12-12 05:53:11 · answer #2 · answered by Morley 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, he doesn't sound entirely unproductive. I recently lost my job & my fiance works out of our apartment. It was hard to get used to at first but we're settling into the new arrangement. I really don't want to be rude, but it just seems as though no matter how good anybody has it, they can find something else that bothers them. Husband doesn't work, husband works too much. Husband never home, husband home too much. You're in a position where you have virtually no bills, house paid, cars paid, pension, plus he's not just working on some random hobby, he's also making more money at that & doing something he loves in the process. Any idea how much most people would like to be in your position?
2016-05-23 05:55:55 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you do. Your husband is being very selfish and ugly. He should help you around the house and help you take of your son. Not sure what he thinks you've been doing all these years. Don't let him get too settled in the frame of mind he's in, you may never be able to reverse it !! He still has responsibilities !! He just doesn't have to get up and go "off" to work, and clock in, etc.... But he most definitely still has to be a responsible person, husband, father. Good Luck !!
2007-12-12 06:18:24 · answer #4 · answered by casper 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you do. Your son can be helped with meds, but it will take a little more with the husband. It sounds like He has a problem as well, not just the drinking. You may want to have a heart to heart talk with him before you let the hammer down. The main thing here is your well being. Someone has take care of the less fortunate.Good luck!
2007-12-12 05:53:47 · answer #5 · answered by mtchndjnmtch 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you have cause to upset. It seems like you have so much on your plate at the moment and what you need is for your husband to be caring, especially right now. Hang in there, I know it is tough right now, but it will get better. Most people after they retire, get bored and look for something to do. Hopefully he will decide to do something around the house or maybe he will look for a part time job that will get him out of your hair and things will get back to semi normal. Do you have other family (sister, brother) who you could ask for help with your father and son? If not, look at your local church, they will be willing to help out.
Good Luck to you.
Quin
2007-12-12 05:53:01 · answer #6 · answered by quinlangal 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes...you have cause to be upset! Just because he worked for 37 years doesn't mean he should just do nothing with his life now. Could it be that he is depressed...retirement is a big change and maybe he retreats to his room and drinks to avoid facing what he is feeling. If he would be open to it, I would try to talk to him about his feelings on retirement; maybe he is upset that he doesn't see his friends/coworkers anymore, or feels like he doesn't have a purpose in life anymore. Maybe getting a hobby that you can do together would help. Good luck!
2007-12-12 05:50:31 · answer #7 · answered by Rachel 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him no problem - then pick one of your jobs to retire from. And do it - completely. Sounds like you're stuck taking care of your dad and your son - so quit the household job. Wash your own clothes, not his - cook for yourself, not him - clean up after yourself, not him. Pick a room for yourself and keep that one tidy - let the rest go. Either he'll get the message or you'll have to take more desperate measures - like separate households.
2007-12-12 06:01:09 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I also am retired, and I help my wife do house
chores such as dust, clean , mop, sweep, in
addition to cooking sometimes, ironing sometimes
and anything else that I can help her out to give
her a break. Now show this to your husband and
let him know I am not less of a man because I
do house chores, and that is what makes it a
home, when the wife and husband get involved.
2007-12-12 14:19:53 · answer #9 · answered by RudiA 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may have retired from his job but he hasn't retired from life. What does he expect, to sit on his rear or play until death takes him while you handle everything? Ridiculous!!! The next time he makes that statement, I'd say fine, I'm retiring too. Whether you've had a job outside of the home or not, you've been working too.
2007-12-12 05:59:09 · answer #10 · answered by yeoldebroad 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋