You know all the signs of when someone no longer loves you, you try with all your heart to just accept it and move on, but for some reason you just can't stop all your feelings and emotions. A long time has past since this relationship was over but I can't seem to get over it. I want to and in all honesty really wish I could hate the guy and have every right to. I keep busy, go out with friends but nothing feels right and I can't seem to find anyone I'm even interested in. My heart is still hanging on while my head knows better. What do you do? Nothing?
2007-12-12 05:40:50 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Everyone has had such thoughtful answers and I thank you. I was married to this man for 10 years and yes I really loved him. We have been divorced for 3 years, which is why I am having a hard time getting over it. I feel like I should have had enough time to deal with it and move on but maybe not. Alot of the reason could be the crazy relationship we have had in the 3 years time that we have been "apart". He has moved on and I know that I should do the same (and as far as he knows I have). We do have children which really makes it harder because I have to see him weekly. The divorce was not your average "normal" divorce. Things were great with us for all those years and then some really crazy things happened. I am not so much looking for someone but it seems as if everyone jumps right into the dating scene. I know I am not ready for that but I am sick of people saying she's still stuck on the ex.
2007-12-12 08:51:42 · update #1
Wow, are you reading my mind?
I am going through the SAME thing, it is a terrible burden on my heart sometimes. Even though it has been a year since i left my ex; and I am out there "dating" (which seems to make things even more depressing), I still break down from time to time.
Email me if you want a shoulder to cry on :)
2007-12-12 05:51:30 · answer #1 · answered by kittykatsback 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, let me just say that, from the way you write, it sounds as if you feel it's a sin to be affected by this relationship. And it's totally not a sin. At all. Nowhere close. You sound like you really loved this person. And that's the reason why it still hurts. When you marry someone or get in a serious relationship, you have hopes and dreams for the two of you. You plan out the rest of your life, and when something like this occurs, it breaks your heart. It leaves you feeling empty inside. I'm glad that you are going out with friends, for that will definitely help you! As others have said, something like this takes time. I would suggest you watch some of these movies. I've researched these for you, and I hope they may help you.
-Diary of a Mad Black Women (A really, really good film)
- The Wedding Singer
-All the Real Girls
-Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
-Elf (absolutely nothing to do with break-ups, but it's just absolutely hysterical!)
-The Holiday
-Pride and Prejuidice
-Where the Heart Is
-Swingers
-Bridget Jones Diary 1 and 2
-13 Going on 30
-Heaven and Earth
-Something's Gotta Give
-Little Black Book
-Good Will Hunting
-You Got Mail
-Legally Blonde
-Legally Blonde 2: Red, white, and blonde
I really hope this helped, happy holidays!!!
2007-12-12 06:08:31 · answer #2 · answered by s d 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're grieving over what MIGHT HAVE BEEN and what you wish would have been. It's very good that you did the right thing, not the easy thing. Take time to grieve the loss of the relationship and don't try to find someone new until you get through this stage! Hating him will not work and it would not make you feel any better. You wouldn't want to be with someone who didn't love you; that would be too stressful. And you can't make someone love you. So focus on the reality of the situation and move on.
2007-12-12 05:58:09 · answer #3 · answered by missingora 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes feelings never go away.Time will heal you though.Theyr'e is a reason that you seperated.We often think about how things used to be when we get down.Refocus your attention.I still think about mt ex,but know that it was only good for the time it lasted.Maybe things are not working for you,because you refuse to let your ex go.Make sure you give yourself enough emotional space b4 involving yourself with another.Humans have a tendency to think that the reason we have relationship failures is because of the other person.It takes two to tango.Work on improving yourself so that you will not become vulnerable to riff raff.Being single is not the end of the world.Excess baggage will awlays destroy you starting over.So lighten your load first.It will serve a great justice to you,and your potential beau.
2007-12-12 05:56:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must no longer were having intercourse at thirteen or 14 years historical within the first situation. And to name a beneficial little one a dull factor, good allow's simply desire you undertake your little one to well loving humans. You already sound like a terrible individual. And sure it'll harm, however whilst you love your little one so very so much earlier than she or he is even born, the ache is long past after seeing your angel from God!!!
2016-09-05 09:30:43 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
only time can heal that...i have been there; knowing it's for the best, but it still hurts bad. I too had every reason to hate, and still have anger over what happened. I knew all the blah blah blahs, it just did not help...only time healed it. Even now I still get it sometimes.
I think the key is to just accept that it will take time, and allow yourself to feel it...mourning the losses of what might have been is natural and healthy. give yourself time and space to deal with this...there is no rushing, really.
take care
2007-12-12 05:48:17 · answer #6 · answered by lmspencr 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
These things take time to heal.
It sounds like there was a great deal of time and energy invested in this relationship. We can't just turn things like that off like a switch.
Try to focus on you and what makes you happy. Not so much on finding someone to replace that person. Take this time to rediscover you and what you are all about first.
2007-12-12 05:45:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorrow over an ended affair.. or marriage or whatever.. will not be forgotten..but one can learn to set it aside to survive .. new paths can be broken ..new interests can be found.. fairly soon.. what seemed to be lost becomes a memory used to help judge the present experience.
Everything we all go through is useful at some point in time.
2007-12-12 06:07:33 · answer #8 · answered by BelieverinGod 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it just takes time...some day you will meet a man who comes along and just sweeps you off of your feet ....(I'm still waiting for him too :) he'll come though) and this guy will make you forget about all of the negative things that went wrong with your other relationship and focus on how to try to build a new one and a much more loving one at that...
2007-12-12 05:54:50 · answer #9 · answered by gracey 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definitely make time for yourself...keep yourself distracted, going out to parties, hanging out with friends. Distraction is the key, as long as you are doing things you like. When you least expect it he's no longer in your mind.
2007-12-12 05:48:19 · answer #10 · answered by Nani 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋